July 12, 2010

"Why Don't You Take Me Out Anymore?"

It's Friday night.

You are sitting on the couch with your boo.....again..

Law and Order SVU marathon on USA is on...again....

You yawn....He adjust himself.......AGAIN.

Here we go again.....

You look over to your man and go..."Why dont you take me OUT anymore??"

He rolls his eyes.........

Let's look at this dillema from two points.

What HE Says:

Look. I've gone out in my 20's and teens. I'm TIRED of going out. Aint shit out there in the streets. I WANNA spend the TIME with you. Why must I spend all this money? Why you always gotta GO Somewhere all the time? It aint no special occasion! It's not our anniversary..or birthday or holiday! We go on a few trips a year. And yes..going OUT in the city is a trip too! I did all that stuff when we were dating. We are a COUPLE now.  Isnt that what you wanted? Whats wrong with just saying in the house? Ive done all my running around. I'm settled.... IM TIRED! I work all day! I just wanna chill! And I wanna chill with you, babe! Besides..why cant we do what I wanna do?

What does the WOMAN hear: "He is just plain LAZY and uncreative! He's boring..."

What SHE says:
Why does it have to be about MONEY? Sure we can get a pizza and watch a Redbox movie...but we can also just do something like go to the park....or have a walk..a picnic...or go eat ice cream! It's about effort and time! I want balance. We can stay home AND go out sometimes. We dont have to do anything fancy! And why does it have to be just for a special occassion??? That isnt fair to me! I work hard! I want to have a little fun! See people! Do things. Not be all couped up in the house!!! I'm tired of you eating all my food up! All you wanna do is the same thing.....eat, sleep watch TV and do it!!!"

What does the MAN hear: "She is just NEVER satisfied! It's always about HER. Im not important unless we running the streets, spending cash and catering to her."

We have all been in this situation. After a while in a relationship, things get to the point where it gets stale. The man feels settled. The woman feels bored...and those famous words come out of her mouth.

So where do we go from here?

It's about respecting his needs and her needs....BALANCE

Fellas...take the girl out sometimes. Stuff that doesnt HAVE to cost money. Just be creative, thoughtful and nice about it. Look in the  local paper for free events. You might just enjoy it. It's about being attentive. And even if you do stay in the house, do something different. Hell..play naked Scrabble (oh...sorry..thats MY thing! LMAO!)

Ladies..listen to his needs. You dont have to go out ALL the time..but when you do stay in the house..do something that HE wants to do. His fav show. His fav food. Have a "theme night". Watch "The Mexican" and buy some mexican food. ANd if you do go out..make it about HIM sometimes. Treat him...he'd love that!

Love is a two way street....so travel down the road of love...together :)

(Which means you MUST get out the house sometimes! LMAO!)


  1. Man, I can relate to this post! We've fallen into a major "couples time" rut, but it has more so to do with finding affordable (read: FREE) babysitting so that we can leave the house and have a date night. But sadly, even when we're both home together, I feel like we could do more to enjoy the time we do have together... but we end up each getting engrossed in our own thing: me blogging, and him into some sports show. So we're essentially sitting next to one another on the couch, but barely talking, and in our own little worlds. Its sad! Thanks for this reminder that its not too late to get our romantic groove back, and get out of this lazy, "old folks" rut!

  2. Very good points!!! I agree.

    You should elaborate on naked scrabble, though! =D

  3. @Jason..Naked Scrabble is easy. If you spell a word..and challenge..and its wrong...then you gotta strip. It's fun! LMAO!

  4. Loving this post.

    I bet if my woman were to read it, she'd swear up and down that I had told our business.

    I get in my moods as well where I don't look forward to rehashing the same ol same ol "dates"(well, besides casino and dinner).

    But, as you stated, I realized that beign attentive and creative does appear to go a long ways.

    Good stuff, Mocha.


  5. I am not the "Stay in the house all the time" type of person so if I see me and mine falling into it, I'm going to do my best to insert some balance. If he has a real problem with it, we need to discuss. If we can't respect what the other is saying and trying to do for/with the relationship...well...

  6. If you're a "settled" man, the goal is to find a settled woman. That is easier said than done. I don't know many women that don't like to be wined, dined, and taken out every weekend. Men who are ready to be married and become family men are usually done with all the running the streets by the time we find our Mrs. Going out becomes the anniversary trip or T-ball with the kids.



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