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Showing posts from 2013

Pop-Washing Feminism.: Irresponsibility, Sexuality and The "Stans"

*blows the dust off the blog*

Ya know, I said I wasn't going to do this. I wasn't going to utter the single word on my blog about this  lady...but alas........

I am a true audiophile. I LOVE LOVE music. Seriously...and a wide array of artists. There are tons of artists I just do not care for that others enjoy with a fervor that is borderline "religious". Artists such as Alicia Keys. Ke$ha,  Taylor Swift, Rihanna, Madonna ............. There are others that I "mildly" tolerate  because although their antics are borderline unstable..they do have talent such as Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Kanye West....

But no other artist brings up more hysterical debates, fervor and foolishness..than Beyonce.
I am no fan of Beyonce. Never have been. Never will be. I didn't like Destiny's Child. I wont be paying my rent money for her tickets. I won't be buying her music as gifts. I maybe have two of her songs strictly as instrumentals for my work out mix.  My musical …

Pans, Bands, and Sammies

So it was floating all around Facebook and social media today..the article from the NY Post about a young black woman, Stephani Smith, a page six reporter for the very own Post that publishes this foolywang article, who declares that she wil make 300 sammiches for her boyfriend to propose to her.



Let's file this under: Girl..you are DTM (as my fiance' would say): DOING THE MOST... *side eye*
 I know women who have done FAR MORE..for FAR LESS...but MochaPeach is not the one.

Now..before I go into a feminist tirade...trust me...I won't be doing that.  My fiance' and I LOVE to cook together. Food is our way we communicate our love to each other.....but honey girlfriend..was doing a lot. I can count the number of sandwiches I've made Beau....and I got a ring.... *shrug* Hell...all that man wanted from me was potato skins......real talk. ANd I made them....

...and here we are.

But I digress. After I read the opening line of the article...talking about "You've be…

Thursday Tunes: Tamar Braxton "The One"

"It's been a long time..I shouldn't have left you..without a dope beat to step to...."

I know! I know! I haven't done a "Thursday Tunes" in forever and a day! But  life gets in the way...


But I got two words for you: Tamar BRaxton!

The younger sister of diva songstress Toni Braxton is holding her own with her release "Love and War". And I am so here for it. So are my gay homies who love Tamar and find her to be so over the top! Like a drag queen without the man parts! LMAO!

But enough of her dramatics..the girl can SING! Period. No denying that...even if you hate her drama her voice is undeniable!

I loved her new album. I ran out and pre-ordered it..... and I INSTANTLY fell in love with the opening track, her second single "The one". She samples Mtume/Biggie's versions of "Juicy"...and it works SO WELL here!

It is a FUN song...and I LOVE IT. The video for it is super cute as a very pregnant Tamar is show frolicking with…

No Room for "Space" in Marriage

Me and my fiance' had a bit of a disagreement last week...

No. I wont get into the details of what it was about because that is between us. But I will say I learned a valuable lesson.

(This is a bit of a paraphrase/mash-up of the situation but bear with me...the lesson still stands)

I had my arms folded. My lip poked out (not in a snotty 13 year old kind of way but in a tired, old Grandma frustration kind of way). I walked in the door and didn't say a word to him. Not even hello. I heard him say "Well hello to you too............" and I closed my door. I took off my clothes and got in bed. I figured it was best I just avoid him.....give him some "space" before I blew it up out of proportion.

Later, he climbed in next to me and I was asleep, truly asleep. He leaned over wearily and asked "Are you awake?" I groaned and grumbled, upset my sleep was disturbed and said "I WAS ASLEEP" in my most annoyed voice. He sighed. He tried to talk to m…

Feeling/Not Feeling: The Long Lost Blogger Files

(He sure does like coming home to my "rump roast"!! )
FEELING



new job. more money. blessed.loved. giddy: there is something about when someone you love just says something that carries you throughout the day. When you think you look like crap, and he goes "Have I told you how beautiful you are today?"like I am dreaming. I swear...I wait for God to snap me out this happiness and dreams fulfilled...not so far *pinches self*....yeah...not dreaming :)Our (now infamous) BitStrip wars. My fiance' and I have no sense. LOL. (above is just one of my favs. A friend gave us an idea to use them as Table Numbers or as a flip book for the wedding. Maybe...not a bad idea though)new friends.It's FOOTBALL pre-season! YEEK!a new home. a new place to call "our own"............the tears in my mother's eyes as she took my face in her little hands  in the Bridal Salon and said "Dear..is this your dress??"sleeping in and doing nothingwhen he pulls back the s…

Too Much To Eat, Not Enough Plate

I feel like I am overdosing on blessings.
I'm debating even keeping this blog. I mean...I just do not have the time. Besides...I started the blog to talk about my dating trials and tribulations, which morphed into sex-positive contributions...but...I just don't think my life is about that anymore. I am sure it ministered and was a blessing to some...but right now??? What is it doing for ME is the bigger question? How can it still minister to me and make ME happy?

 My life has done a complete 180 in the past few months. I mean..I am attempting to study for comps. Which isn't going that great to be honest..and I take the exam (supposedly) in October. I am debating pushing it to Spring when it is given next time. I don't have time. They say you never read everything on your exam list. But damn...can I get halfway there???

I work and am getting more duties and responsibilities which makes me just overworked...but joyful about what seems to be progressive change that will b…

Wordless Wednesday

Fin.

The Front Row of Your Life

My mother use to tell me all the time..

"Everyone doesn't deserve a seat in the front-row of your life..."

When I was younger, I took that to mean that everyone doesn't need to be involved in the things that you deem important and noteworthy.

So much of my life has changed since  I started this blog. And perhaps people feel obligated as longtime readers/friends to want to vice their options and concerns about how I conduct myself. Guess what? You have no rights to do so. No matter how much I've revealed on here. Or anywhere else..
People get beyond nosey and just get downright intrusive. Whether it be my sexy life or the status of my relationship, it really isn't of any of your concern.
Case in point, my coworker happened to meet my beau at a work function. The next day, intrusive coworker decided to ask me if we were "on the same level" financially and educationally. This is a woman who doesn't even have a degree but you are asking me this. We …

For you, my friend ..

Courtesy of my girl CP.....

My Favorite Video: Barack Obama Schools Men on a Classic First Date

Whenever I hear about a girlfriend getting sad about dating problems...or even when I get the blues (for whatever reason..not necessarily dating related...)..I like to watch my favorite video..

It is this one..where President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama (then..he was just a candidate) recall their very first date. And the way he looked at her...my goodness...makes you melt.



 First off...the man remembers EVERY detail of the date. How many men remember their first date almost 20 years ago??? Heck..some can't remember the date from the night before! I bet if you asked him what she wore, he could recall that too. Mercy!
Secondly, he was schoolin' dudes on how to do a first date right. That man breaks it down w/o really saying it. I got the following from him:
A Date does NOT have to be expensive: they went for Ice cream, they saw a movie, they looked at art at a museum at the Art Inst (which is free btw...) then they ended the night with a drink. Simple.Talking is importan…

The Dreaded "S" Word

A sorority sister of mine had some run in with a foo-well from her church. She said some ninny had given her number to a man in her single's group (Violation #1...you don't do that!) and he called her. During the call, the man goes a woman should "Submit to him in relationships, while you are dating/committed relationships and married......"

She promptly  hung up the phone. And I do not blame her.


Submission..... *smh*

Men are quick to quote random bible verses about "submission" and how men should submit to God only..and women to their husbands who ultimately, get their instruction from God.
That type of thinking is dangerous in my opinion. There is a spiritual disconnect going on there.
Submission isn't about ruling over a person....ever.


And besides, it is 2013. Get real. Feminism and social movements happened ages ago to free us from this thinking. Submission isn't bout a dogmatic way of men being "over" women. It's about mutual su…

The Perks of Being a 30 Something Divorcee'

subtitled : The Last Blog in which I will EVER talk about divorce

I started this blog as a way to heal from my divorce. But guess what....everything has to come to an end. I am so over it. I am over talking about how to heal..what to do...how to date...etc. I've done the work. I've come out shining and like a champ.  Everyone feels like I am the go-to expert on how to bounce back after divorce. While I am flattered...again...it's got to stop. I've moved on. And so should my readers.

Nevertheless....this is a blog post about divorce. *shrug*

As I approach my Mid-30's (Ok let's face it...34 is prob already mid-30s), I realize that most of my "give a damn" gave out a long time ago. I've hit a stride. And while I do have fear and apprehension about a lot of major decisions in life, one thing is clear: Who gives a damn what other people think.

When I got divorced almost 5 years ago, I had this shame and guilt.  I felt like a failure.  Looking back I rea…

Dear Porsha: You're Gonna be OK.

I must confess. Real Housewives of Atlanta (RHOA) is my absolute guilty pleasure. I have been watching it faithfully since it premiered years ago. But this season really struck home with me.

And it all has a lot to do with Porsha Stewart (née Williams). A little ditsy but beautiful and likable, Porsha was married to ex football player turned sucking monkey balls sports commentator Kordell Stewart.
(Ugh..what a low, down dirty terd of a dude...smh)
She was a real housewife. Cooked dinners. Dressed like he enjoyed. Took care of him (and her step kid mind you....). She was traditional and ok with that. And wanted to defend and respect her husband to the best of her abilities. Yet when she wanted to step out on her own, have a semblance of a career, the husband and be an all-around person, he was like "pump ya breaks". And was outta here....

I found Porsha easy to relate to , albeit a tad on the ditsy side. But I think that's part of her charm, the naivety. But after last …

Feeling/ Not Feeling: The Slacker Edition

(Madame..wtf is this bedazzled mess????)

Feeling


Apologetic. I am so sorry for not at least putting ONE solitary word on this blog in weeks. Truth is. I have been busy.Like like if changing rapidly. What happened? One minute I was eating Nutella out the jar in my drawers on a Friday night...and now there are a pair of size 15 shoes at my front door.He's awesome though :)My mama is in better healthLife is good and I can't complain..for the most part.my life is RAPIDLY changingnude, naked makeupflats more than heels these daysPeople who ignore your needsWigs. I have purchased like 4 wigs lately. I am not abandoning my locs but wigs make for fun. easy transitions.my family. the love and support and prayers. It's for real. I am really family oriented.my wish box is full...for real :) so is my heart.weekend trips to go see my girls. DC is my second home.like i should do a give-away soon....real soon


Not Feeling

Kim Kardashian's pregnancy wardrobe. I mean what the ENTIRE fugg??…

Knocking on 40's door (Ok I am really 34)

AKA: Thursday Tunes....

Today is my birthday!!
*does a twirl*

This year has been utterly amazing. I am sorry I haven't been blogging as often but real life is calling me in the worst way. I will say I am thankful for family, friends and most of all sanity. I am 34...knocking on 35...and peeking at 40! (LOL)

I never thought almost 5 years post-divorce that I would be here.....in a different place: whole, happy, sane, in love....

I take that back...yes I did. I did because I had faith in God and I knew God doesn't fail people who believe in a better place. God doesn't leave his children to perish...not even during the storm.

My pastor/Uncle said on Palm Sunday the following:

"Your Second Half will be better than your First Half"

Indeed...the second act of my life is getting better and better. Ducks are lining all up in a row for me....and I am blessed and I am grateful. I do not take it lightly at all. I knew my "latter would be greater".  I totally believe…

Thursday Tunes: Faith Evans "Tears of Joy"

I've been a Faith fan since her days back at  Bad Boy. Most know her for her marriage to Biggie.. But I was a fan of Faith in her own right. She was the first lady of Bad Boy that's for sure..

  I was championing her to be Etta James in "Cadillac Records" (cause it made sense! Lol) but we see how that worked out lmao. But I think I played her first albums out to the point where the CD skipped.. "Soon as I get Home" still is on that slow jam CD we all have to make babies (or practice making).

She returned back to the scene last year with a reality show but I wanna forget that. What I do want to remember is the songs produced from that collaborative effort .

"Tears of Joy" took me back to classic Faith Evans. I think I put that on repeat for a minute when it first dropped. The R&B Divas album wasn't commercially successful but this song is just everything :)




NSFW: The Weekly Porn Review

AKA "Ma'am...you are doing the  ABSOLUTE most........."

I know I haven't done this in a while..but I gotta shout out my good friend Kee who sent me this rachet video from WorldStarHipHop.com of someone's auntie (lol).. Angel of "Angel's Erotic Solutions" .giving fellatio techniques.




Ya know..I aint mad at her. Her tips are great and def promote oral sex w/ safe sex tips... (and she looks old den a mug so I am sure she got some miles on them lips!)

 But the sound effects though. LMAO!! I am crying laughing. and her commanding "Put your D8ck between your legs!" I think my man would look at me like "Have you lost your mind? This is not Rupaul's Drag Race! Aint nobody finna tuck and roll!"  And she is VICIOUS with it yo.....you might scare a dude. LMAO! Then there is a slow motion replay? Then the spit...... See..........folks play too much! I didn't need to see all that off of a rubber dildo.

(Random...I totally forgot that …

Feeling/Not Feeling: The Post Valentine's Day Edition

FEELING

that I am losing weightthat Valentine's Day is now a weekend.At peace. All the chapters  in my life that need to be closed, after this weekend, will officially be closed.Like this moment right now.........is maybe the happiest I've been and it havs VERY little to do w/ a new relationship. More like a renewed faith in myselfthat my dissertation may come to me with much more easesI  like wearing wigs now.I am lazy with my makeup now. Its now just brows, mascara and sometimes lipstick. I only get jazzed on the weekends.I am the same way w/ my clothes. It's leggings almost every weekend. *sigh*BUT...I do like the ease of wigs.I love my little side of ATL. I love Pinterest a little too muchSame goes for Greek Yogurt. I eat it everyday in some form or fashion.Weight lifting.Counting down to vacation with my beauthe ability to freeze your eggsBrazilian PornThe idea of a new stadium here in ATLmy new Keurig coffee maker. Best Xmas gift everlike I am well overdue for some ne…

Wordless Wednesday (sorta)

Ghosts of Relationships Past

I'm in a happy place. My bills are paid. My family is still here (despite ongoing medical issues). And I still have a job. I'm on track to being "ABD" (all but dissertation) by my 35th birthday. And finally, after 4 years of heartbreak, disastrous dates, and just utter foolishness, I have the love of a good man who adores me from top to bottom, inside and out.

Yet the ghost of my past relationship keeps haunting me.
I don't mean that my ex husband is bothering me or keeping me from moving on. Quite the opposite. He's moved on and I have too. We are at a cordial place with each other from time to time (when I feel like being bothered). Basically, he ain't worried about me and I ain't worried about him.

What I'm talking about is the goddamn Internet and all its regrettable abilities to bring up old shit.
When I was married, my ex and I took some sexy, romantic and semi-boudoir shots for a friend of his. It was for her budding portfolio and for us t…

Valentine's Day GiveAway: The AdultToyShop

Contest Rules:

1) Like my Facebook Page  and share the give away post on your wall!
2) On the FB Fan Page under the blog, tell us "How do you spark a little passion within your relationship?


The best and most creative answer will win!
Extra Entries:

1)Subscribe to my YouTube Channel and comment on one of my past blogs
2) Follow my Pinterest page
3) Subscribe to my style blog: Stiletto and the Southern Belle


TheAdultToyShop.com CONTEST ENDS AT 5pm on Friday, February 1.
Good Luck!


ETA: WE HAVE A WINNER! CONGRATS TO SARAH GREY who is our FB friend and follower! WHOOP! Enjoy dear!

Guest Blogger Sunday: Embracing a Sexual Dry Spell

** Sex and the Southern Belle is proud to partner with Frances Denzel of TheAdultToyShop.com for a timely guest blog....Valentine's Day is around the corner and well.........everyone isn't getting that loving feeling. We learn that sometimes that can be a good thing... **


Embracing a Sexual Dry Spell
Even the most passionate couple may experience a period in time when sexual desires are low. Intimacy is easily pushed aside, sometimes stress is a main cause or perhaps you simply “don't feel like it”. Some may feel concerned  that sexual disinterest will spill into other aspects of the relationship and lead to general disinterest with their partner.
Don't place a grim outlook on your future however, a sexual dry spell is an opportunity to embrace other aspects of the relationship and build your foundation stronger in other ways such an emotional closeness and a deeper friendship. You can also harness this time to bring a fantastic triumphant return to your sex life in a f…