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Showing posts from March, 2011

I Had to Miserably Fail at Love

... to love someone better.
I was listening to the new Marsha Ambrosious and her remake of L. Boogie's "Lose Myself" is about as poetic a song as ever and spoke so much to me.

**Disclaimer: I'm not in love. Not by a LONG shot**
But I took the lyrics to mean so much more than actually "losing yourself in love", falling in love and being hurt to actually love someone better. I took it to mean that I had to be an ABSOLUTE FAILURE in love to love someone better. I mean, what greater failure of love is a DIVORCE. I can't imagine that kind of pain happening to me again. I am relatively young woman. To be divorced twice, I can't even and don't want to imagine.

As I enter a new phase in my dating/relationship life (and another year of life, God willing), I know that the pain of my divorce has made me a better lover in the emotional sense. If you release it [pain], you can receive it [love].  There is a beauty in that. I'm grateful for having gone thro…

Sex in College: The Dirty Truth’s Ten Commandments

   **Part 2 of our guest blogger series "Sex in College" by Christine Vega. I hope you enjoyed her first post**
****** Sex surrounds us! This is part two of my “Sex in College” series. I honestly don’t know how many of these I’ll write. Chances are, I am going to write to avoid three VERY bad dates. I know what you’re thinking: “How did you score three dates on a Saturday night, girl? What’s your secret?” Here’s the catch, their names are Government, French, and Spanish. Yep, it’s gonna be a long, hot, steamy, sexy night. Trust me. As a gold-medal procrastinator, I decided to delve into something more fun: sex. My trusty Google search turned up a bit more pornography than I wanted (I’m not a porn person). However, I found a few newsworthy pieces online that gave me some new insight besides what my friends and I have experienced. Sex is a realm that can be scary and these are my parting words of wisdom from both research and experience:
1.Be a playful tease, even somewhat raunchy…

Sex in College: The Dirty Truth From a College Vixen

** Sex and the Southern Belle has a guest blogger. A young, collegiate blogger by the name of Christine Vega who will be giving her insights on Sex and the Collegiate girl. SHe's a lifestyle blogger and an overall great, smart and talented young lady. She'll be blogging in two parts...hope you all enjoy!**

While teens “sext”, college students…screw. Yes, I said it: we like sex. “Making whoopee”, fucking, “making love”, banging, smushing- you name it, there’s a strong chance that we have done it. This is the article that will make parents cringe and spark a debate in the college world. However, I know you all have questions, so, I’m going to feel free to answer them to the best of my ability. So, who am I to inform you about this? Well, my name’s Christine Vega and I’m a college student in the Atlanta area. No, I will not say where due to privacy reasons, so, don’t ask. I’m nineteen years old and the men I have slept with men in the single digits (translation: less than ten). I …

Swingin' into 32....

Happy Birthday to Me!! (I dunno if I have a future as a pole dancer...but hey....It was fun practice!!)

TheMochaPeach visits a Korean Bathhouse

The Return of The Tingles

You know, dear readers of Sex and the Southern Belle, I (and I do mean hardly ever) hardly talk about my personal life anymore. Usually I am dishing out advice, random thoughts, give-aways, and even the occasional poem. But this time, I just couldn’t contain myself. This blog has been my cathartic healing out of a barren situation. I’ve chronicled the highs and lows of being a divorced, African-American woman in a city where women outnumber men 12:1. Where the Magic City dancer and bootleg model and music producer reign supreme. I’ve had some great experiences. I have a LOT of terrible experiences. I’ve experimented with everything from meeting guys organically, to speed dating, to the wonderful world of on-line dating. I’ve gone on countless dates to the point where it is exhausting and like a full-time second job. I had given up, settling on focusing on my PhD studies, my working out, and shopping (lol)...
That is…until… I wasn’t looking for it. To be quite honest, I had rejected any n…

Feeling/Not Feeling

FEELING ·Joe’s Jeans. They make me look like I got a badunk (and that’s a miracle) ·Slightly nerdy dudes (let me stress the SLIGHTLY part) ·Warm, inviting smiles ·Keeping relationships OFF of social networks. I can’t stand when folks have to broadcast it all. Goodness gracious. ·MAC Wonder Woman collection (that’s what I’ve been rocking for 2 months) ·Turning 32 in 10 days ·Lingerie I actually look good in. ·Super cold Welch’s grape juice ·My first pole dancing class my birthday weekend! WHOOP!!My alias Teela Belleau will be in the house!! Heyyyy! (Ok...not really) ·How sexy little things are…and how folks don’t realize they do it ·My desire to go t as many concerts as possible this summer. It started with Kem/Ledisi last week. Up next: Bruno Mars/Janelle Monae, Then…Melanie Fiona/Marsha Ambrosius...and wrapping up my summer with Sade/John Legend at Phillips Arena ·Speaking of which...that new Marsha Ambrosius. MY GOD! That album is sexy on fiyah! ·Wedding Season has just begun

The Foot Connoisseur

What is it about FEET that turns men on? I just don't get it.

Ever since I was a little girl and saw Eddie Murphy go nuts over womens' feet in Boomerang, I still didn't understand the fascination. It's just FEET. I dont think feet are meant to be pretty. I mean, they work hard for you every single day!  I never dated a guy so into feet...well....not until I got divorced. Now it seems like errywhere I turn, some bama is into feet! What gives, America??

I mean, it seems as though EVERY guy I meet is into a woman with "pretty toes and feet". WTF son! I can understand if you dont want a sista to have ashy heels looking like she is from a third world country. And of course, when summer comes, your pedicure should be just right.  Not to mention, feet are essential for my shoe obsession (lol). BUT..still..what TURNS MEN ON about feet, the most un-sexy part of anyone's body?

I've heard it all. I'd had men ask to suck them. Touch them. Rub them. Feel them…

F*ck Shaun T: Insanity Week 1

Thirsty: The “Desperate” Haikus

You call me ten times Yet I don’t answer your ass TEXTING wont help you
I am like Water To your heart that’s a desert Quench your thirst on me
Your heart…a fire Raging deep inside your loins I wont put it out
You anticipate The moment when you can call Clock seems to stand still
I pencil my first In to your last To see how it looks…
I dial your number My palms sweat…anticipate But you don’t answer
I stalk your Facebook Seeing if others want you Like I want you too
Reciprocity… Is my heart’s only desire My blood fills with hope

I Put On

Have you ever been on a date and wondered if you were at Def Comedy/Poetry jam or still in the back booth at the Olive Garden? Yeah…..who wants to relive that moment?? No one. Do you really want to be sitting across from a woman as you do your soliloquy from Othello and she has the gas face? Nah…I didn’t think so. Do you want to do stuff that is more and more awkward making you look like a jackass? Nah...I didn’t think so. In this world of dating/mating, we are often assaulted with a barrage of images of our potential mates. Sometimes we don’t even know how to take it. It is as if someone left the IPod on “shuffle” the entire time in our heads. We complain that a person often comes to the table with their “representative”, the man/woman that we THINK you’d like or be attracted to. Yes, in general, we hate that. However, you may want to scale back your “real” self for a little while. Because a date is not a performance. No, this isn’t to say that you need to indeed come as a “representat…

Feminism Killed the Dating (Stars)

I am a product of two movements: the civil rights movement and the feminist movement. One implored me to be proud of my race, not take any sh*t, not to back down without a fight, and I could achieve anything I want regardless of my skin color. The other taught me that my gender was on no consequence, I can do it all for and BY myself, I don’t need a bra or shave (in the extreme case), and not to take any sh*t and I can achieve anything I want regardless of my sex.
But, I feel, only the latter has destroyed my dating life for the worse.
Before you all call me a “traitor to the chromosome”, hear me out. In our quest to be “independent”, have we isolated and allowed men to “not be men”? Have we allowed men to expect us to just be “Miss Independent”, picking up the tab, making the decisions, and not taking the “lead” in a relationship? And when I say “lead”, I don’t mean the “submit to me woman” kind. I mean, the, “let me make a choice of ANY kind”.From planning the date to establishing wha…

Wordless Wednesday

The REAL Mocha (Pin-up) Peach (Custom made Pin-up painting by Zahira Kelly of Kelly's Dolls)

Rotten Carrots: A Poem

I feel like a race horse Being led astray with a carrot Dangling in my face I run and run And I work and work I sweat until I can’t take it Exhausted in this race of life Of Love. So narrow is my view That I cannot see That the carrot in front of my face Is rotten Spotted Full of moldy places Lacking nutrition Not worthy of consumption Yet I keep running toward it. Someone put my out my misery Like an old racehorse And just shoot me.