Sex and The Southern Belle

I used to make these lofty, resolution goals each year. The older I got, the grander my ideas became. That is until I reached the age of 30 and my entire life shifted. At the time, I was divorced, living totally on my own, trying to rebuild myself financially and trying to figure out my next move toward happiness. That was at the time I started this blog.... which started out as my chronicling the dating and mating of a 30 something divorcee' in the South's Largest Metropolis. I was trying to date. I was trying to establish myself financially. And I was trying to find my purpose. So much has changed in the almost 9 years since I started this blog. I've traveled alone. I gained and lost friends. I got into a Ph.D. program. I got re-married. I lost my mother, my best friend.... not to mention my uncle, cousin, and aunt. I gained a sweet baby girl.  I went from getting my bliss.... to trying to balance that bliss with my own life..... Yet in trying to find th...

In 2011 I vow: o To get out more. No matter my circumstances. I need to get out more. o   To let sex be on the backburner for as long as I possibly can. Though the flesh is weak and men are beautiful, we got to be stronger than this. o To somehow “turn down my sexy”. This is going to sound crazy but I have to figure out whatever it is I am doing that makes men go left…when I do not intentionally do it. o To stop being so shy and actually approach someone that I find attractive. Rejection be damned. o To actually have a “date wardrobe”: a wardrobe in preparation for dates so I can be ready when the time comes. o To be ready. Can’t get caught slipping with the brows, nails, pedi, waxing, hair Gotta stay ready…never know when an opportunity to go out will present itself. o Take chances. Open myself up to other races…. even “non-traditional” arrangements like long-distance, someone 10 years older, or even bi-coastal…hey…if a dude in this city won’t be checki...

The year is drawing to an end. I really DON’T like making “New Year’s Resolutions”. Instead, I’ll just make some “New Year Adjustments” Therefore: In 2010… I will finally do something that has held me back from being an adult... which is not give a damn. I will no longer tolerate the excuse of “I just got busy” with men re: their disappearing acts and lack of communication. I’m sorry...I’m not here for your convenience or entertainment. I’m taking brothers at face value. You want to “do me”. Fine... let’s cut to the chase so I can decide if ou are worth my time or not. I don’t need the “sweet talk” and altruistic motives if all you want to do is bone. That can be established in 2 conversations. I will not feign excitement or longing over someone who won’t be excited over me. I won’t act like I miss someone who damn sure didn’t miss me. No...”Miss me?” won’t work. And no...I’m not “excited to hear from you” Serial texters are OUT. Guys who actually call and want to date me...are IN. I w...