July 13, 2010

Just a Soul Sista

Date #6 (or is it 7...hmmm) : The "Fratboy"

“Maybe you had too much soul for the dude”

My girl Cee said this after my last date.

He was…”different”. He had had experiences that I wasn’t accustomed to at all. He was a black man in a white frat. He skied and lived in different places like Mexico, Spain and Amsterdam. He grew up near the Catskills. His parents were very “white collar” who checked his English (which made me, the English major, even more self conscious not to slip into relaxed English). He loved the Dave Matthews Band. Most of his friends were white and upon inspection of his social networking pages, a lot of his friends who were brothers were married to non-black women. I’m not even sure his last few girlfriends were black. He said he was a great dancer and that his friends always say he’s a good dancer. (Uhm..around a bunch of white folks I’m sure I’d be a bomb dancer too! LOL). It was like I was on a date with my brother except he wasn’t gay (LOL). We met for lunch at a trendy local lounge walking distance from my job.

He asked about my taste in music….and the convo went something like this:

Him: Do you like Taylor Swift?

Me: No. Not a fan of her voice at all

Him: But she had one of the best produced albumbs of the year!

Me: *puzzled*. Uhm ok. I don’t care for her at all. She’s too dry and whiney

Him: I thought you said you had diverse musical taste and listened to everything

Me: I listen to everything. Doesn’t mean I like everything….

Him: You like Jodeci don’t you? And they are whiney

Me: They are an R&B band..whiney and begging comes with the territory

*dead silence*

Talk about strange and awkward. (LMAO) He was relatively nice. However.. He wasn’t complimentary or anything. I had to check myself a few times to see if my attractiveness meter was off. I had the flawless makeup and stilettos on. Of course, he asked why I didn’t have a car and when I explained he sat there dumbfounded like “Uhm..interesting I guess”. Otherwise the conversation was pretty good. We went to a comedy club and I paid for our drinks out of gesture because 1) I didn’t want to make him think he’d spent a grip on the date. and 2) I don’t want him thinking I owed him anything.

After the date, things got interesting. He walked fast in front of me super fast getting to his car. When I was checking my phone (my mom and friends were asking was I ok), he felt I was attached to my Blackberry. I told him I was single and folks were checking on me. *shrug*. He also checked his Iphone but said “THIS was for work though”. (Like that makes it any better!)  On the car ride home, of course he goes “Wow..you live so far”. (For the record… I live about 7 miles from Downtown Atlanta. This fool lives near the Airport..and hanging with your "friends" in Buckhead, Marietta, and Midtown isnt far?.) I let out a sigh…and just looked out the window. I misread a turn and he scoffed “Are you sure you are from Atlanta?” I cut him a dirty look and said “I don’t have my glasses on!”…

At my gate he hugged me and said “Thanks for inviting me out.” I said “Yeah it was fun! Maybe we can hang near Poncey-Highland…I’m really close”. He goes..”Eh..well..this is kinda far to be hanging out…” Kinda far huh? I let out a half smile and walked through the gate near my place. I heard his SUV pull off as I sat near my pool…. My first thought was..”I hope he finds the white girl he’s looking for”. When I got inside he sent a text: "Ok. I'm home. Thx".  That was it.

…another one bites the dust.

The next day I hit him on instant messenger and the conversation wasn't nearly as lively as before. Oh well. My girls commended me on taking chances and going against my normal “type” and being a risk taker and putting myself out there.  I wasn't judgemental about dude although he seemed rather judgemental about me. My friend, the psychologist, said he seemed to have a prototype and isn't sure why he’s delving back into “chocolate” because he seems like he’s “strayed”. I guess dude was a little left of the “black” center..but black folks aren’t a monolithic people. I’m not that naïve to think that these kind of folks don’t exist. Why did dude even agree to go out and meet me? Was it the free tickets? It’s pretty obvious I’m a “soul sista” and perhaps a bit “soulful” for the Carlton Banks type of brother. (LOL). The prefect dude would have Carlton Banks’ ambition and drive mixed with some Fresh Prince street smarts and sensibility. Dude was more Carlton Banks….painfully. And perhaps he needs a Hillary…or Hillary’s white friend (lol)

Yes…I am a complete soul sista. From my head to my manicured toes. I’m definitely a lock-rocking, Eric Roberson listening, VH1 Soul watching sista…

who needs a soul brother. A brother with the perfect balance of soul…and substance. No he doesnt have to be from the block..but Imma need his black card to be with an unlimited balance and not about to be revoked.

I guess I’ll patiently wait.

…to be continued…


  1. Wow, this date sounded excruciatingly painful!

  2. Pretty entertaining read, Mocha. It held my attention from beginning to end, without there being too much more that I can add.

    Except that "it is what it is." I co-sign your friend's sentiments about you being brave to step outside the box for this date.

    Agreed @ a soul sista who needs a soul brother. If you would have broke out with some Tom Jones, you would have probably been in the game then.

  3. It sounds like both of you were trying someone different and "outside of your norm."

  4. I was cringing as I read this - the date sounded VERY awkward and uncomfortable. I agree with the others.... the important thing is that you did step outside your box and try something new. That is a good thing! One never knows unless they try.

  5. you are way too soulful for the Carlton Banks type alone!!! you need a Carlton/Raheem Devaughn hybrid. that balance would be perfect for you.

  6. Grown men listen to Taylor Swift? Really? Ha!

  7. Who's Taylor Swift? and why is my verification word "suchead"?

  8. What grown ass man is a Taylor Swift groupie?



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