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Showing posts from May, 2011

Not Broken…Not Cracked…Just Stretching

I received a valuable life lesson today from my good  friend...my sister..M. She’s wise beyond her years (she’s just a few years younger than me honestly) but I’ve always viewed her as a baby sister of sorts…that’s how it is. Sometimes a child (in the metaphorical sense) shall lead you.
Well…lately I’ve felt like I feel have an impending heartbreak coming.  What seemed like it would be magical may just go down in flames and I don’t know if I can handle it.  I mean, I’ve been divorced and to compare this is truly nothing. Yet that doesn’t negate the pain.  The inevitable ending of a possibility. The person drawing back. The person ignoring you. The person realizing they have a better option than you. The person realizing that this just won't fit into their life..their time..or their schedule.
 I saw myself possibly LOVING this person. And I don’t use that term lightly. There seems to be some distance. Some tension. Some uncertainty. And I have no reason why. I don’t know if my heart …

The Wedding Pariah

When I was married and a newlywed, my husband and/or I were invited at to at LEAST 6 weddings a month. (Not even kidding).  Every weekend was packed with at least the brief appearance at a wedding. Or  a trip out of town to go to a wedding of a friend...or a friend of a friend.....etc. It seemed as though folks wanted us to be there. Not because we were all that close..or that we were the best of friends. But..they needed that "newlywed" energy. You see...Me and the ex were THAT couple. The fun couple that laughed, danced, and looked as though we had been married 20 years. People loved us. I had my plus-ONE for life...and that was just fine with me.

Fast forward to 2008....and I know of plenty of people getting married. Ask me how many wedding invites I've recieved since my divorce? 2. Yep...just 2. How many people do I know that got married? Tons....

Once you get divorced or are single, folks look at you as this "wedding pariah". It's not..."Oh..we HA…

Summertime...: A Poem

Georgia Heat
Air Conditioner
Broken
Ceiling fan
Too slow
We lie
Naked
In Bed
Sheets off
Can't cool off
We try
Skin touching
Too hot
Hot
Sweat Drips
down
Into cleaveage
Between  thighs
You touch ...
Finger down..
Tracing trails..
Placing it in your mouth
Lick
You leave
Kitchen
Ice Cubes
Trace my lips
Down my neck
Dripping
Cooling
Down my cleavage
Ample Breasts
Nipples chilled
Hard
Drip down
Deep
Into my Navel
Cavernous
Drip
Navel becomes Well
You drink
Coolness
Ice Drips
Down
Thighs cool
Shivers....
Up and down.
Slowly
Flower watered
Opened up
Moaning
Orgasmic
Pleasure
Pain
Heat permeates
"I'm hot!"
"I'm cooling you down"
"No you aren't"
*smile*
Air Conditioner
Broken
Georgia Heat
We lie
In bed
Soaked

19th Century Wisdom

..from pioneering writer, activist, and novelist Pauline Hopkins






‎"I am thinking what a horrible thing it is that we women are always loving the wrong men--worthless,heartless men who cannot appreciate in even a small degree the love we waste upon them"- Pauline Hopkins' "Hagar's Daughter"

Dear Married Friends...STFU

Dating is hard enough. It is even hard if in your circle of friends you are the only single person (or in my case, a newly single person….).Usually when chicks are dating, it’s not so bad. But as soon as they get married, it is as if their brain cells took a hiatus and they forgot what it was like to be single. They have no idea how to interact with you when you are lamenting about the ups and downs of your relationship. I was married once. NEVER and I do mean NEVER did I say the words “Oh lord..I am SO GLAD I am not single” when talking to a single girlfriend. It is hard enough to be single. It is even harder to have it rubbed in your face, intentionally or not by some “well-meaning” friend You know something, I think I may have to just cut my married friends off for a while. I know they THINK they mean well. But in reality, you are doing more harm than good. So, in the meantime, if you want to converse with us, and we want to vent on our relationships or dating, please refrain from us…

Taking a “Test Drive”

One of my really good friends, CJ has been single from sometime. She is a fun, spunky and outgoing Southern girl with a good heart and morals. Despite all this, she like the rest of us has been pretty unlucky in the love department. She told me she was interested in a guy. She really liked him until he said something so remarkably stupid. She said she told him she didn’t want to just “give up the drawers” to anyone. She definitely wanted it to be special (it had been a while for her). She said the dude told her before he can decide if he can even entertain the idea of an exclusive relationship or even DATING, he has to “test drive” her sexually. Say what?? Look, I understand that sexual compatibility is a must. But sex is pretty basic and everything can be taught or coached if you have a particular preference. But I find it totally unfair to say that a prerequisite to DATING is that you have to bump uglies. Not cool. I am sick and tired of HOES and Hoe behavior winning. SO you mean to tel…

(Non) Lovers Anonymous

Me: Hello. My name is TheMochaPeach. And I am addicted...to love.


(Audience): Hello TheMochaPeach, Welcome! You are in a safe space to share!


Me: Ok. Truth is. I am not addicted to love. I'm addicted to NOT loving.


(Audience): *looking with confused faces*

****
Yeah, I am not addicted to love. I am addicted to NOT loving. Let me explain...


I'm one tough egg to crack, so to speak.  When I was young, I really and truly only had a few boyfriends before my ex husband. And the break ups were so dramatic and crazy, I just built up a resistance to love, vulnerability or tenderness. When I met my ex husband, I thought I would be able to relax, become vulnerable, and love freely. That was great for a while...then here again came the hurt and pain. Once again, I built up a shell around my love No one has been able to penetrate my heart since.

I've been divorced for almost 3 years. In that time, I've done a lot of soul searching, terrible dating, and even some therapy.  I realize why…

The "Sporadically Happy" Dater: A Quick Blog

"Isn't that what being a single,black woman dating (esp in this city) is nowadays ? Just being happy in sporadic moments and on random occassions?"

I put that quote on my Facebook page today. Instantly, I got a few people to hit me up, asking me what I meant by being "sporadically happy" or that I made it seem like for being a black woman dating isn't happy or joyous.

Well...it aint.
I'm generally a pretty positive and happy person. But when it comes to dating, I often times are more dissapointed than pleased.  This isnt to say that I look for dating to make me happy. I don't. Dating is TIRING. It's a part time, if not full time, job. Weeding through the resumes and the dating "intereviews" can be a bit disheartening.  And when your applicant pool is already low and being sought at by many different companies, you just want to close up shop and call it a day...and just have a "temp" fill in for the "hard" jobs every …

Red Flags: Babies R-NOT-Us

*In this weekly (ok I hope weekly) summer blog series Red Flags, we will be talking about some critical red flags in relationships that perhaps will make your ears perk up and your eyes bug out a little. These are little warning signs that perhaps you need to take heed of and proceed with caution before you go any further. Speaking from experience, these somewhat ring true* The Scenario: You and your main squeeze are out at the park enjoying a leisurely afternoon. You are strolling and holding hands and being so in love. You sit on a bench and look across and see a mother with her baby. You smile, having fleeting and romantic thoughts of you and your main squeeze bounced a bundle of brown joy on his knee. You look over at your honey and he frowns “Ugh…I pray that kid doesn’t start crying”. You frown…”But it’s a baby...it’s supposed to cry”. He goes “I can’t deal with all that crying”. You start to notice more and more how your sweetie isn’t too fond of kids. He makes comments about how n…