Sex and The Southern Belle

My mother is the epitome of forgiveness. …especially with my father. She and my father have been married for well over 34 years. With all of the cheating, lies and making kids outside of their marriage (and expecting her to accept all of that) and abuse, my mother has yet to waiver in who she is- a forgiving and loving person (and a dutiful wife.) She caters to my father-making sure his meals are made and his needs are met. When we go out, she orders him food or takes her leftovers. She always gets him a birthday gift and remembers their anniversary. She rarely raises her voice to him even when he yells. She just lets things go. When I was younger, I used to think she was a complete doormat. “I don’t understand why she won’t stay mad at him!” I would think. In actuality, she’s probably one of the strongest women I know. As I got older she confessed to me why she stayed with my father. She said “He may not respect my vows but I do. I know when my last days are here, I’ve done m...

As 2009 slowly comes to an end and the holiday season slowly draws to an end, I realize that so much has changed. Yet, is “real” change ever possible…..in regards to forgiveness. My ex husband and I have come a very, very long way in terms of being cordial and forgiveness. You see, there was a time where I really hated his guts and wanted nothing to do with him. He broke my heart into tiny shards of bloody glass and I didn’t want to even speak to him. He tried to send me text messages..I’d send ones back..cursing. I didn’t want him near me. He sent flowers via my mother and I got so angry I threw them on the ground in front of my apartment (Later, I went back and picked them up…and sat them on my counter..). In other words, I didn’t want to have anything to do with him. Earlier in the summer, my mother had gotten very ill and was in the hospital. We thought she had a stroke but it was due to improper dialysis. She asked for my ex husband and he came. At the time, I was seeing someone ...