Sex and The Southern Belle

Last weekend, I was finally able to cash in on the spa gift certificate my husband gave me for Valentine's Day. Yes, I realize it is damn near Halloween.... but I've been quite busy with adjusting to a new baby and my job. And just trying to wrap my mind out around life. We had an nice brunch at the Katz's -style deli here in Atlanta, laughing and talking like old times over bagles, lox  and "smear".... Old times plus a giggling little one who would coo and laugh. And had the waitresses wrapped around her finger. She is very well behaved in public and just likes to observe her new surroundings. My massage was an hour and a half. In the time, my husband decided he'd take the baby for a little walk around the shopping center in her stroller and maybe pick up a few things from the market. As he did that, I settled into the comfy chair of the Spa. I was called back rather quickly and I received an amazing deep tissue massage and aromatherapy. It was heaven. A...

*sigh* HubbyDude and I haven't been married a solid month. And already..folks are trying to find our baby registry at Target, plan showers, and talk to us about "you ain't getting no younger...you might as well do it" Actually...all the baby talk started as soon as we got engaged. And continued well into that phase. Even at the wedding, his Uncle gave a speech and said  "And please....make some babies". His sister wrote in a card to use that said "I can't wait for our kids to play together"....  All this pressure! Sure we've discussed children. And yes..my age is certainly a factor (as is his quite frankly). But, I know that most fertility studies aren't accurate and most certainly are outdated. How do you explain a 45 year old Halle Berry having a kid? I don't think it's science...sometimes it's Jesus (LOL). I am not naive. I know fertility drugs and infertility are a possibility. I have health issues that may ...

I swear...it isn't even a full week into 2013 and we are full of fucknastyness and foolishness. Courtesy of the paparazzi loving, self-absorbed duo of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. While I LOVE Kanye West, who (I thought was...until he ran up in that rancid  Armenian poon ) is smart, outspoken and talented and actually has a reason to make millions of dollars. I am perplexed by the purpose of Kim Kardashian other than being a staple on what is the equivocal of " Things to Do Once you Get Famous" list. People call her  (and her mother) smart and ingenious for turning her 15 minutes of fame into brand marketing. I beg to differ. The fact that she got "famous" off a leaked sex tape with a C-rate R&B singer (who himself is only riding the coat-tails of his famous sibling) is disheartening. The fact that young girls look up to her....is even more troubling, believing that the superficial and the artificial will get you everything you've ever wante...

I am 30. I am divorced. I'm in debt. I sold my still new house I have no car. I hate my job. I still don't have my Ph.D. I never had children with my ex husband. I've never been pregnant or had a real scare. I’m not dating anyone and don’t have any real prospects ...yet and still... I want to have a baby. All around me...friends are getting pregnant or working on baby #1...or even #2. I'm so happy and overjoyed for them. Honestly...I shouldn't even be thinking about this. I just sold my house (which had plenty of room for children). I am getting out of a marriage and dating again. I am trying to get my finances in order. I am trying to lose more weight and obtain some goals. But something about me pains for a child of my own. I feel like there is hole in my heart.... I had resolved myself to adopt or even be a fantastic step mother (if I were to ever get married again). I mean...years ago I had resolved to not even be a mother at all...and as my marriage went south....