July 28, 2010

The Boyfriend Experience

I was up late one night watching Cinemax (oh no...It wasn’t Zane or anything. LOL). I was watching a movie called “The Girlfriend Experience” with a real-life former porn star Sasha Gray making her major film debut as (what else) a call girl named Chelsea who gets paid to give men the “girlfriend experience”. Directed by acclaimed director Steven Soderbergh cinema verite style (he’s the director of Traffic, Erin Brocovich, etc), it chronicles a time right before the 2008 election and how a woman is trying to balance the normalcy of having a boyfriend with her clients. Often times, she has an inability to separate the two worlds causing her to pretty much lose feeling for anyone around her.

Now…how does this relate to my blog you might ask…..?

As you all know, I’ve been on a series of dates this summer, I dubbed it “100 Dates of Summer” but in actuality, it was only about 6 (LOL). Nevertheless, the point of it all was to get out, meet more people and just not be so shy and be open to finding love wherever it may come.

Needless to say, it’s been an utter disaster. There were very few highs and a whole lot of lows. Liars, cornballs, and horny dudes have been just a summary of what I’ve encountered.

I was telling my guy friend, who I’ll call MC, about my adventures.  Smart, funny and fine...he's a good dude to bounce stuff off of sometimes. He was like.”SO you haven’t had ONE good date?” I said...”Uhm…it’s been a minute. What about you?” He goes... ”I go on good dates ALL the time. Hell, some out of town. Come up here to see me. We’ll have a great date…I promise”. I laughed because I know MC. I know he has body for days. I know he’s a charmer and an insatiable flirt. He is also a guy who has vehemently declared he isn’t looking to settle down, just wants to “kick it” and have “friends”. He's the eternal bachelor (nothing wrong with that! )  I will say he’s at least HONEST about it, warning chicks not to catch feelings. (Mind you..I think he’s 30 now.. and at some point you just gotta stop that stuff. But hey..I let him do him.) And after a few bottles of Moscato and some Trey Songz on the IPod, we’d probably be naked, sweaty and it just wouldn’t be a good look.

While this may garner “ooohs” and “aahs” from the peanut gallery and maybe even a few “girl, what’s wrong with you!!” I frowned and scoffed a bit at the idea. MC is my friend. That’s it. JUST my friend (my cute friend..but my friend). And I don’t want anyone feeling “sorry” for me and trying to give me the “boyfriend experience” and not be my boyfriend and NOT want anything other than a good screw and laughs and a good time. He told me once “You seem like the kinda girl I could kick it with, have great sex, give you a pound, and go get wings and brew afterwards”. Say what?? I know I’m a cool, open girl but do I wanna be the perpetual FWB. NO! [NOTE: Men interested in me who MAY be reading this blog from time to time..dont get it twisted. I am NOT that girl 100 % of the time..I just write about it! Woo me. Romance me a little..cmon bruh!] I wanna be a girlfriend. With a boyfriend (or man-friend, or partner or whatever…). Furthermore, I don’t want to feel like I’m with a male escort just giving me the business because I haven’t had a good experience with men in a while.

I don’t want to be adored for a weekend..I wanted to be adored for a lifetime.

I don’t want to just live in the moment..I want my life to be momentous.

I don’t want a temporary lover…I want a permanent partner.

You all get my point though.

I understand what my boy was trying to do. Make me (and himself in the end) feel better with a moment of fun, casual “dating”-like atmosphere.-holding hands, cuddling and canoodling. I could pretend I had a boyfriend for a fun filled weekend. But I think I’ll pass. I don’t want an “experience”. I want the real thing.

He might need to hire Sasha Gray from now on…………


  1. Makes perfect sense, Mocha. I understand exactly where you're coming from when you express the lifetime....although I believe your friend had good intentions, as you already know.

    Kinda hard for me to believe that your dates have been disasters, as well.

    You appear to be an extremely smart and attractive sista.

  2. Being smart and attactive isnt enough these days. I have to be smart, attractive AND willing to lower my standards OR change who I am. Yep..my dates have indeed been disasters. Partly my fault and partly theirs. It is what it is.. (but it makes for good blog material LOL)

    ANd I def feel he had good intentions..(which I shoulda stated..my bad!) I just dont want anyone feeling sorry for me...I feel like it woulda been a "pity outing"

  3. Yes, Im sure his intentions were good.... but, like you said, you want the real thing and for a life time.... not just a fleeting moment to enjoy and then be snatched away. Where's the fun in that? :(



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