Sex and The Southern Belle

My 39th birthday is in two weeks. *sigh* You know, I feel like I write the same type of blog around my birthday every year. I get extremely introspective and pensive about the whole thing. But this is my last year of my 30s and I am feeling all of the feelings that have ever and could be felt. I hate trying to bring this up to folks.. who are always wanting to remind you of "well.. you got this.. you got that...". As if you haven't dealt with depression long enough to realize it doesn't matter what you have... if one piece is missing.. it throws it all off. While yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my mom's passing, I realized she wouldn't be here for my 40th. That was a hard pill to swallow. I thought for sure we'd be celebrating a lot that year... my Ph.D... a baby... a big, fancy car..... all of that. I only have one of those things so far but still... I was hoping that having her hold on at least until then would be the icing on my cak...

I used to make these lofty, resolution goals each year. The older I got, the grander my ideas became. That is until I reached the age of 30 and my entire life shifted. At the time, I was divorced, living totally on my own, trying to rebuild myself financially and trying to figure out my next move toward happiness. That was at the time I started this blog.... which started out as my chronicling the dating and mating of a 30 something divorcee' in the South's Largest Metropolis. I was trying to date. I was trying to establish myself financially. And I was trying to find my purpose. So much has changed in the almost 9 years since I started this blog. I've traveled alone. I gained and lost friends. I got into a Ph.D. program. I got re-married. I lost my mother, my best friend.... not to mention my uncle, cousin, and aunt. I gained a sweet baby girl.  I went from getting my bliss.... to trying to balance that bliss with my own life..... Yet in trying to find th...

In boxing, the "corner man" is almost as key an element to a boxer winning the fight as is a nice upper cut or jab. He's the man that gives the boxer encouragement and often times instruction between rounds. Sometimes he's the "cut man"- putting the salve on the wounds of battle allowing you to fight another day, applying the ice packs and reducing the swelling from the pain. The corner man also tells you when to throw in the towel, when the pummeling is too much and the fight isn't fair. I n life as in boxing, you need a corner man. Right now I am in my almost full month of PhD studies. I will admit, shit has not been easy. I got a pretty low grade on my first homework and often times I feel lost in a crowd in class . I am the only black person in my classes.  Because I have to miss work to go to class, I make up those hours by extended my free days almost an extra 2 hrs (So I'm at work almost 12 hrs a day). I'm not sleeping. I eat sporadi...