Sex and The Southern Belle

I'm in a happy place. My bills are paid. My family is still here (despite ongoing medical issues). And I still have a job. I'm on track to being "ABD" (all but dissertation) by my 35th birthday. And finally, after 4 years of heartbreak, disastrous dates, and just utter foolishness, I have the love of a good man who adores me from top to bottom, inside and out. Yet the ghost of my past relationship keeps haunting me. I don't mean that my ex husband is bothering me or keeping me from moving on. Quite the opposite. He's moved on and I have too. We are at a cordial place with each other from time to time (when I feel like being bothered). Basically, he ain't worried about me and I ain't worried about him. What I'm talking about is the goddamn Internet and all its regrettable abilities to bring up old shit. When I was married, my ex and I took some sexy, romantic and semi-boudoir shots for a friend of his. It was for her budding portfoli...

**Editor's Notes : Now I am sure some of you are like.." But wait, Mocha..haven't you been married before??" Yeah So what? I didnt produce any kids from it.  I'm single again. I'm speaking like the SINGLE, childess person I am. Therefore, I want to create a whole family unite: mother, father and child. Husband, Wife and child. Parents and children. *shrug* Had I had some kids..this wouldn't be my conversation. I might even seek a partner WITH kids IF I had kids. This is my truth. I stand firm in it. Yeah I'm complicated... so.If you don't like it..bite me (LOL).

**I wasn't going to share this on the blog..but..I've been transparent thus far in my dating experiences..why not stop now..so here goes....** I started carrying a convo on with a guy named ...well..we'lll call him Mr Violations (cause he had at least 4 of the 10 violations I talked about in my last blog but...Ialthough it was comedy...Ialso didn't wanna judge a book by it's cover). Gorgeous..dimples..well-chisled..brown skinned tiny gap in his teeth..originally from Queens but living in DC. The convo was going really well via texting and chatting. So..we decided to take it to Oovoo (it's sorta like Skype but better....clearer pictures) So anyway..we are chatting and the chatting was going well..laughing and what not. So..he asked (as they all do)..do I have any pictures. So..I send him some..you know..full body...etc. I wasnt naked. I was well dressed. in my designer finest. It was pics from when I went to see Maxwell and some from earlier this year..and...

So here we are..the first day of summer and I, TheMochaPeach, armed with on-line dating memberships have branched out and actually gone on a few dates....and well..some had better results than others. Here's a recap of the date's Ive been on: Date #1: Mr. Buckhead So I met a guy at the posh Buckhead (ATL) Starbucks in Lenox Mall. He was a gorgeous, 33 year old man who was a finance consultant.  Funny thing was..he didnt offer to buy me coffee OR even suggest we get coffee. He talked incessantly about how women in ATL want his money...and are lured in by his car and its so easy to impress women here. I felt the bile rise in my mouth. He asked me to walk around looking at ties in the mall. All of a sudden in the middle of Kenneth Cole, he hugs me and goes "Well...I'll leave you to shop", I was like.."That was weird". And  he just up and left. Didn't call back again. So weird...it was his idea to meet in the first place Date #2: Dr. Cutie So..I m...

Memorial Day  signals the start of the "Operation: Summer Boo" plans. And part of Operation: Summer Boo entails a very ambitious effort on my part to date more, meet more people, and do more things. 100 Dates of Summer. 100 Dates of Summer (hopefully fueled by my recent membership to Match.com) is my attempt to get out there and meet new guys and experience new things.  I started this experience with a coffee date... ..that went a little array. I met the guy at a popular mall here at a coffee shop. I seemed like he was totally into me. I even got a new pair of shoes at the mall just to be on the safe side. He talked all about his money..how women in ATL WANT his money..and how he can easily pull chickenheads. I wasn't impressed but I was hoping he found me the exception. The date ended on his part abruptly...in the middle of Kenneth Cole..with a half-ass hug and him saying he had to go to the gym. And although I saw him days and days after that on-line, he had y...

So upon encouragement of a friend (who also offered to pay for a month of service), I reactivated my Match.com profile. Now if you have been reading this blog for the past oh, year or so, you know that I really have not had the best luck in the world of internet dating. BUT...I decided to have a more positive attitude about my love life, to let go, and just have fun. Beside's..it is almost Memorial Day and the "Summer Boo" program is still in effect! Well, I did a little revamping to my profile, added a few fun and cheery pictures (to reflect my otherwise cheery disposition! LOL), and changed a few key words. My profile heading was " Recent Divorcee looking for Something New (But MUST love Football)."    I let my close friends on my private blog (Oh wait..you thought THIS was my only blog? Ha! LMAO!) view my profile, let me know what they thought,  and check out a few cuties that caught my eye. Most of my friends loved it and  I got pretty good feedback....

Some things are better left unsaid....or rather...”un-taged" and "un-friended" when it comes to Facebook. When I think about Facebook…my own crazy mantras come to mind: Facebook: ruining relationships to hell one tagged photo, status update, and wall post at a time. Or Facebook: making you want to strangle yourself with the mouse chord one “happy couple” picture at a time. Or better yet Facebook: exposing the lies of liars one wall post and tagged pic at a time. Facebook doesn’t let you know that when you post these pictures, somewhere, someone out there knows the truth. The night of his wedding, you had one last romp with your ex. That cute baby may not be her husband’s. Your husband wasn’t on the fishing trip with his boys but his mistress took the picture. That new house that you all bought is now in foreclosure. That is the ugly truth behind social networking. For me, Facebook has created this crazy addiction to "knowing" every...

When we last left off, ya’ll, I had gone out on a total limb and met this fine, and caramel skinned Adonis at the coffee shop from a dating site. Well….he’s still around but….well...let me back it the story up: After I met the man I now call “Green Eyes”, we talked for a while. I noticed that he'd much rather text or IM than talk on the phone. Hmmm...A bit of a red flag for me but in this age of technology, I really don’t expect me to be super talkative on the phone. We have talked...but maybe a total of 3-4 times. After our initial meeting, I sent him a text and said it was a pleasure to meet him. I didn’t get a response until the next day. I felt somewhat hurt that he didn’t appear to have the same enthusiasm I had felt. He asked me...”So…what was your impression of me?” And I said quite sweetly that I thought he was nice, handsome man and we had great conversation. He said he enjoyed talking to me and that he “had to stop himself from staring and drooling”. Interesting. He const...

So my friend J, a tall, voluptuous Blasian girl that would put Kimora Lee Simmons to shame, suggested that I try internet dating. Now..I've been dabbling in the world of on-line dating (really on the peripheral) for a while. I mean..back in the day, all the college kids used College Club and BlackPlanet . We even had sites for Greeks back in the day as well. All of that seemed rather safe. I mean if anything, with those worlds being SO small, you could have a safe checks and balances. It was invaluable to us as black students. We could connect with folks, sorors and frats. It was fun. I met a few guys from there (mostly fellow Greeks) and dated some long term. I even met my best, closest friends on the Internet . I even reconnected w/ my ex husband via Blackplanet (we had met like 2 years before when he came to my alma mater on a road trip). I digress..... After the divorce, I had profiles everywhere. BlackPeopleMeet , Match, EHarmony , and even Yahoo. NO hits whatsoever. I ...