Sex and The Southern Belle

Oh, no.. don't get me wrong. I still don't think she can sing and I don't like her music.... I don't know or own ANY of her songs unless they get played at parties. I literally do not know ANY lyrics... dead ass. And let's face it... I'm 39 with a kid... when am I gonna go to a party that doesn't have an animated character present? Nevertheless, I can admit when I am wrong. A while back, I wrote a blog about Beyonce and her "brand" of feminism. While I still argue and posit that Beyonce is using/used feminism/womanism as a marketing scheme (as with any good "evolutionary" artist. See: Janet, Madonna, GaGa.....). I was wrong to say that her kind of feminism isn't feminism, specifically black feminism. It's HER feminism. And who am I to judge? Nobody...*Keith Sweat Voice* If she thinks body performativity and sex is feminism, so be it. If she wants to be Oshun for a day, that's cool too. If she thinks to wear a onesie/u...

*blows the dust off the blog* Ya know, I said I wasn't going to do this. I wasn't going to utter the single word on my blog about this  lady...but alas........ I am a true audiophile. I LOVE LOVE music. Seriously...and a wide array of artists. There are tons of artists I just do not care for that others enjoy with a fervor that is borderline "religious". Artists such as Alicia Keys. Ke$ha,  Taylor Swift, Rihanna, Madonna ............. There are others that I "mildly" tolerate  because although their antics are borderline unstable..they do have talent such as Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, Kanye West.... But no other artist brings up more hysterical debates, fervor and foolishness..than Beyonce. I am no fan of Beyonce. Never have been. Never will be. I didn't like Destiny's Child. I wont be paying my rent money for her tickets. I won't be buying her music as gifts. I maybe have two of her songs strictly as instrumentals for my work out mix.  My...

I will be 33 years old in less than 5 months. By this time, I thought I would have a child by now. But such is not my fate. In less than 5 months, it will also mark my being celibate (I hope) a full year. I siad that I would stop there. But I am thinking I am going to go onward... I'm also a feminist. I am a womanist. And I am also an advocate for fair and equal reproductive justice. I believe I can do what I want, when I want, when it comes to my body and my reproductive rights. I am pro choice. I grew up in a very feminist, pro-choice household that advocated responsible sexual health and access to reproductive care. I will be 33 in less than 5 months. If you can believe it, if I never have sex again....I would probably be ok. *crickets* I know. It seems shocking and unrealistic. But I am at a really good place spiritually.  I feel so free. It is a terrible, drowning burden lifted. This insatiable need to please another person who really could care less. For the f...

I am a product of two movements: the civil rights movement and the feminist movement. One implored me to be proud of my race, not take any sh*t, not to back down without a fight, and I could achieve anything I want regardless of my skin color. The other taught me that my gender was on no consequence, I can do it all for and BY myself, I don’t need a bra or shave (in the extreme case), and not to take any sh*t and I can achieve anything I want regardless of my sex. But, I feel, only the latter has destroyed my dating life for the worse. Before you all call me a “traitor to the chromosome”, hear me out. In our quest to be “independent”, have we isolated and allowed men to “not be men”? Have we allowed men to expect us to just be “Miss Independent”, picking up the tab, making the decisions, and not taking the “lead” in a relationship? And when I say “lead”, I don’t mean the “submit to me woman” kind. I mean, the, “let me make a choice of ANY kind”.   From planning the date to est...

Wonder Woman is no Superwoman (And neither am I) As a kid, I had an unnatural obsession with Wonder Woman. I would watch the re-runs of the Linda Carter TV show. My mother bought me all kinds of Wonder Woman stuff (including a lunch box that probably is a collector’s item…but I think she tossed it). But my most prized possession…a pair of costume worthy Underoos. Remember Underoos????  (I also had an R2D2/Star Wars one as well....LOL. I am/was a geek for sure....) I loved those things. I would sleep in them. Wear them to school. Run around in them just in the summer time.. The turning point in my Wonder Woman obsession was when I was about 5 or 6, and on Halloween, on a bitterly cold October day, I wanted to wear my Underoos with my red cowboy boots my Pop-Pop gave me. I got dressed (complete with my mother’s gold bangles and a belt for the Lasso of Truth) ran around the house, opened the front door to go Trick-or-Treating and declared “I’m WONDER WOMAN!”. My mother froze in horr...