Sex and The Southern Belle

Love jones . Period. The movie that defined a new generation of black men and women : Generation X, neo-soul retro New Negros.... Educated in Franz Fanon , Al Green, Malcolm X, and bell hooks. Eating turkey bacon and having brunch. Brown sugar babies. Brown skinned dapper dudes . Going to pretentious poetry spots, drinking dark liquor on ice and quoting Eldridge Cleaver and Maya Angelou while puffing on a L...on some new age philosophy which wasn't new at all. Black power, civil rights, and women's liberation- fed children.... At the cusp of the new millennium . Love jones. Period. The movie that defined me. Late teens/early 20s. Single handily my favorite movie of all time. How many times have I watched it? At Least 200. And that is no exaggeration . I wanted to be Nina . I wanted to live in a fly ass loft. I wanted to be brown and glowing . I wanted to be sexy with a camera. I wanted to be so fly men were powerless around me. I wanted my stuff to be so good that...

What happens when you break up...to make up...but the thrill is gone? How do you recapture the love and lusty romance you had before.......OR is that even possible? This is a question that a reader posed me via email : Dear Mocha: My boyfriend and I broke up about a year ago. Recently, we decided to give it another try  but things are different. I still love and care for him, but the romantic feelings I had before are gone! I mean, I dont find him unattractive or anything. If anything we've become better friends. In between the break up, I've been with other guys who sexually were better but of course emotionally were lacking what my boyfriend had.  Plus, my boyfriend cheated which is why we broke up. I'm struggling to be romantic or even sexual. Is this the reason why I cant get over the wall? I just want it back to how it was before..where we loved on each other all the time. I'd really like some help! I dont want to lose my boyfriend again over this! Well ...

I was sitting here at work thinking to myself...I'm so damn basic. You know how most women have these fantasies about thier lovers whisking them away to some island...dripping in diamonds..on a yacht...horseback...shirtless and tan... (like the Old Spice dude) and showering them with all these romantic gestures I'm 31 years old. Long gone are the days where I JUST want that. Now..dont get me wrong..all that stuff is nice..but I am steeped in reality. Howbout you bring me some lunch and flowers to work on a whim cause you know I got plastic plants in my office and a stale turkey sammich (today's lunch BTW....) OR....have a maid service come and clean my place while I'm gone for the day....and steam clean my dirty ass carpet.... OR program my DVR to record a show you know I'd like to watch... OR buying me the complete series of Thundercats and Fraggle Rock  on DVD ...(LOL) OR...have dinner ready and IT TASTE GOOD.... Or get me a BIG ...

I am the queen of talking dirty after dark. I mean I am GOOD at it. VERY good. So much so I dated a guy and for months..all he wanted me to do was speak nasty to him. We never has sex. Nothing. Just a bunch of dirty talk....and he was happy. (Hey..a very safe sex fetish!) Heck..I'm even considering picking up some extra income in this economy and becoming a phone sex operator...my job does NOT pay enough. I will say there is an ART to dirty talk. You cant be shy. You cant be a prude and say things 1) you are not comfortable saying and 2) that you certainly can't back up if you are in a position to act on those things with a trust partner. 3 ) things you have no real reference point of familiarity with. Don;t say you are down for a "golden shower" if you think that has something to do with "lemonade kool-aid". DOn't pretend to have a weird accent. That would be ROLE playing..and not "talking dirty". BUT a lot of "talking dirty" is rol...

Maxwell "Symptom Unknown" Born Maxwell Gerard Manard Rivera in Brooklyn New York.... one of the neo-soul "godfathers" has staked his claim in the worlds of soul music as a pioneer and smooth crooner of all things silky, romantic, sexy and love. He exudes sex. He sells sex. He IS sex on two legs. Everyone remembers his "Urban Hang Suite" and the melodic sexual overtures and steam that was released from that LP. And after 3 other successful albums ( The Unplugged Album, Embrya, Now) ..and an almost decade long break..he came back with his finest album yet....BlackSummersNight....awesome piece of work as well. A recent Grammy winner (his FIRST Grammys actually if you can believe that...) he is deserving of all accolades. Maxwell IS my favorite singer in the world. I mean it. ALtought I had been a fan for years, I just saw him in concert last year in Nashville at the famous Ryman Auditorium (the Grand Ole Opry). I saw him for the first time in concert after ye...

4...is the magic number..... 4. So far....it has been almost 4 months since I've been intimate in ANY way with someone. And I purely just fell into it by accident. But now, I don't think celibacy (or abstinence ...really that's what it is...celibacy is for monks...) is such a bad thing. It's not like I was having it on the regular. It's not like it was all that good when I did get it. It was hit or miss, really. It's not like I cared about these dudes (well really..THIS dude) or was in love. They (he) certainly didn't love me. despite my attempts at being open, honest, and sweet. I don't even remember my last powerful and honest orgasm. Actually, I found out through the magic of Facebook that the dude I had been seeing had a girlfriend all along. It was a little twinge of pain...........but it just made my break even more needed. I needed to be shocked into reality. Lesson learned. I have no desire to fake an orgasm ( lol )..or sweat my makeup off. or ...

Although President Obama says that the receission is almost over, times are hard. Everyone is pinching pennies and trying to make things stretch and meet. Especially during this holiday season, the recession can be especially tough. To make matters worse, dating during the recession (coupled with the holidays) makes things especially tough. But it doesn’t have to be that way at all. But trying to tell that to men is like talking to a brick wall. Recently, I encountered a guy who was in a financial bind. He had been unemployed for some time. I found it strange that I had to pay for my own lunch or suggested any dates . Finally, when he asked to go out again for lunch, he refused to pay and even asked me to contribute my very LAST amount of cash to lunch. I was hurt. I felt like I wasn’t worth the time or effort. He later told me that he was quite ashamed for his behavior , apologized and said he was “barely” making it. I felt horrible yet understood.. Had he just been honest with me, I ...

One Year Ago Today… It was a very cold day in Atlanta. The wind was blustery and I wore a brand new red Calvin Klein suit, matching red and black Calvin Klein stiletto pumps, a new attitude and my hair in a high bun. Red is my favorite color-my power color. It made me feel confident and protected. My red Chanel lipstick was the perfect match. We rode to the courthouse in silence. The tension was palpable but no one wanted to address it. I mean, just a month ago we had signed the papers, had everything notarized and filed it with the court. So quick. 30 days. And I would go from Mrs. back to Ms. What was there to say? We sat in the courtroom which seemed like forever, with other couples that were getting divorced as well. They seemed to be across all socio-economic backgrounds. But we appeared to be the youngest. He walked out for a while and I feared he wouldn’t come back. (He later told me he had contemplated just walking out. But what could what that have done…he didn’t need to be th...

aph·ro·di·si·ac Pronunciation: \ˌa-frə-ˈdē-zē-ˌak, -ˈdi-zē-\ Function: noun Etymology: Greek aphrodisiakos sexual, gem with aphrodisiac properties, from aphrodisia heterosexual pleasures, from neuter plural of aphrodisios of Aphrodite, from Aphroditē Date: 1719 1 : an agent (as a food or drug) that arouses or is held to arouse sexual desire2 : something that excites I am a romantic. There, I said it. I admit it. If you have been reading this blog long enough I’m sure you got the hint that I love love…I love romance. I love sex, too. And I love the opposite sex. No offense to my lesbian sistas out there, but something is so damn fine about a man-and especially a black man- that I find totally irresistible. But aside from the physical part of men, little things about them turn me on But this blog is just not limited to the café-au-lait and deep mahogany that makes me weak. This is just about what I find as an “aphrodisiac” to the opposite sex-tangible and intangible. Hair - I love hair. ...

Decided to share some of my haikus.............I was bored and inspired at the same time.... Enjoy :) He smells like heaven Dancing on the tips of clouds Please envelope me Emerald eyes set Inside caramel smoothness Better than candy Hot Caramel Sex On a platter...serve me up Double helpings please You...theraputic Like a balm for open wounds Kisses make my heart heal Slowly I taste you Licking like a thirsty soul Nourished by your wilds Lying on my breasts I feel your heart pulsating With mine as one beat See..Touch..Taste..Smell..Hear You awaken my senses From a deep slumber Sailing between legs Ocean...you enter my isle Paradise shipwrecked Tounge on tip of clit Clit on tip of tounge...explodes Breathless it leaves me I say..."I'm coming" You say.."Then come..baby...come" Daddy...I'm all in Fingertips graze...My small of my back archs high Like floating on air

(BTW...that isn't me! LOL) As I sit here playing in my locs and basking in their glorious fragrance of the hair oil I use (as I do probably every morning at work for about 15 minutes before I start working. because bullsh*tting is totally my thing....).. I was just thinking." Why don't more brothers like natural hair ?"I don't mean the "Freddie Brooks/Mixed Chick" type of hair...I'm talking straight out the motherland, nappy, bushy, twisted-out,loced-up type of stuff. I think my locs are beautiful...and I personally don't give a damn if a dude isn’t feeling them...because he isn’t the dude for me. I just hate statements like..."Well...I NORMALLY don't like chicks with natural hair...but it looks good on YOU"...uhm...I'm just wearing my hair (with a little manipulation via some hair color and loc-maintanence....which is purely aesthetic) the way God had it grow out my damn scalp! What's so wrong about that? I think brothers i...