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Showing posts from 2014

Pretty Baby: Two Letters To My Child(ren)

***written at 11:00 pm after the Grand Jury's decision to not indite Darren Wilson for Mike Brown's Death***
ETA (11/26): My husband wanted to add his letters too. So here is the updated version Dear Son (from Mommy):

You are not born yet. You haven't even been conceived. But do know I've wanted you since before I knew you existed or will exist. You are already awesome and wonderful and beautiful. You have been willed by the Holy Spirit to come to be. Everyone is praying for you, our baby boy.

You will be nice and kind. You will be articulate and smart. You will have a a style all your own. You will have my eyes and your Dad's towering height. You will have manners and be a fine, young gentleman. You will make good grades and say your prayers before bed. You will open doors for ladies and carry bags....You will spend time in the kitchen with us because food is our love language and you need to learn to feed yourself. It is a life skill. You'll love sports just as m…

Street Harassment, Cat Calling, and Why I Can't Take Compliments from my Husband

This week the internet was all a-buzz about a young woman whose viral video depicting a day in the life of "street harassment" for women in New York City. The video has its flaws, as Roxane Gay has so eloquently pointed out. Most of the harassers are black and Latino. Nevertheless,...it's all harassment.

Brave black women such as Feminista Jones and  artist Tatyana Fazlalizadeh are telling and shouting from the rooftops that this is not OK. ESP not OK to do to black women, whose bodies are targets of ridicule, objectification, and subjugation.

Now, I am sure you are thinking:  what on earth does street harassment have to do with my husband and his compliments to me?

I think everything.

If you hear "hey beautiful" everyday as you walk the busy Metro streets, as you try to go to work or just take a jog around your neighborhood, you just brush it off as some tactic that men use to get in your pants. As a woman you think, "sure I am beautiful but dude...stop u…

Feeling/Not Feeling: New Life Chapters

(It's going to be great)
FEELING

I am incredibly childish for feeling this but...........MsDonna Goudeau. We gonna hold you down, sis! We know you are legally blind.

How to Get Away with Murder. Viola is all that!

My wedding photos. They are so bomb (although I haven't seen the rest of the). Thanks Montoya and crew!

The Read. I listen to those fools religiously......

Honeymoons like mine. I wish I was there. Unlimited food and drink. Jacuzzis....EVERYTHING


So many weddings over the past couple of months

All these new movies coming out. Dear White People. The Equalizer.. Top Five (w/ Chris Rock)

Couple Dates. Apparently we are acceptable to hang out with as a unit again. Going to see Dear White People w/ another couple.

My new hairstylist. She's everything and like an older sister. The best.

Makeup organization. My husband thought I was nuts for obsessiing over it. But anyway...take a look at my collection over on my style blog HERE.

All the awesome black webseries that are…

And So The Baby Talk Begins...

*sigh*



HubbyDude and I haven't been married a solid month. And already..folks are trying to find our baby registry at Target, plan showers, and talk to us about "you ain't getting no younger...you might as well do it"

Actually...all the baby talk started as soon as we got engaged. And continued well into that phase. Even at the wedding, his Uncle gave a speech and said  "And please....make some babies". His sister wrote in a card to use that said "I can't wait for our kids to play together".... All this pressure!

Sure we've discussed children. And yes..my age is certainly a factor (as is his quite frankly). But, I know that most fertility studies aren't accurate and most certainly are outdated. How do you explain a 45 year old Halle Berry having a kid? I don't think it's science...sometimes it's Jesus (LOL).

I am not naive. I know fertility drugs and infertility are a possibility. I have health issues that may make it a bi…

Married...Divorced.....and Married Again

(Photo courtesy of Montoya Turner and Made You Look)

Well...well...well.

I know. I had the nerve to come back to you all married...and not without a single HELLO or anything!

Well.........let me fix that.

Hello, darlings! :)

After one heck of a fun wedding (I know...says the woman who was adamant about not even having a wedding) and to one SUPER romantic honeymoon....(whew chile..if a baby was made from that I wouldn't be surprised), I realized I've neglected my blog for a minute. I wrote a rather somber piece after the whole Ray Rice incident. But enough somberness....let's celebrate.........

I think I may do a bit of a  quick and dirty "recap"..... and throw in a few pics here or there.......just a few.


The weeks leading up to the wedding were def more hectic than the wedding weekend itself.  I even had a shower in my office after I told them NOT to go through all the hassle.

It all started on Thursday when I met The Dude's extended family who had traveled fr…

"Why Doesn't She Leave?": Ray Rice, and Why Victim Bl/Shaming is Stupid

(Ray Rice, wife Janay, and their daughter Rayven)
My parents have been married 37 years. My parents are still together.

My father, an ex-cop, returned from the military shortly before I started 5th grade. Before that, I had a dream like vision of my dad, a super strong military man who visited on leave. I didn't know they had technically been legally separated since I was about 3 and his stint in the military was for him to "get his life together". 

My father beat my mother more times than I could remember. Or that I can remember because I've blocked most of ages 8-18 out. My father was abusive,neglectful, controlling, manipulative and in some ways still is. He had several children outside his marriage. He had no remorse, felt no guilt, and did what he pleased. When he got out the Army, he was underemployed and drank a lot. That's stopped......(the drinking that is). When he became gainfully employed, money made it worse as he could exert all his control with his p…

Let Onika (Attempt to) Twerk!

*blows all the dust off this sucker*


I am 30 days away from getting married so I haven't been able to post as much!

HA! Yeah right! I just don't have sh*t to talk about... until today...
*********
So Nicki Minaj released the video for her song "Anaconda" which samples Sir-Mix-A Lot's" Baby got Back".

If you do not remember that song....................take a look here




It was a gloriously cheesy song that celebrated the black woman's backside in a time and era when big butt were not en vogue. Sistas around the world enjoyed shaking their rump to this song and just having a good time.

Fast forward almost 20 plus years and we have Onika "Nicki Minaj" Maraj sampling Sir Mix A Lot's song in all it's campiness. The song is trash. Pur and utter fluff and trash, void of any real substance. LOL and the video is deliciously lame. Take a look. Warning it may be NSFW (unless work is Magic City....but ok........... really it isn't even that …

Beauty and the Boudoir

As part of my wedding photography package, I opted against doing traditional bridal portraits in favor of bridal boudoir photographs. I had done something "similar' in my first marriage but my ex husband was involved...and I hated the fact that he was in most of the shots. Needless to say...these would be different.....I'd be totally alone.

I was so nervous. I spent days and nights planning and picking out outfits.... I had been working out but I was self-conscious because I wasn't as fit as I wanted to be for these photos. I was going to call the whole thing off but my mother seemed excited for me...and my aunt thought that this would be the perfect gift to give my fiance' on our wedding day. I had a room and floor full of Lingerie and Louboutins.....everything that seemed "sexy" or bridal...I had it out.

I labored for hours over my hair and makeup and nervously paced the floor waiting on our wedding photographer and his wife (and thank God she was the…

Wordless Wednesday: A Wedding Funny

Marshmallow Blues and Honeymoon Dreams

My wedding is in 4 months and 20 days............

I work out. I eat right 90% 85% if the time...  Granted I've been sick off and on for the better part of 8 months as well....and my fear is that I will appear like this coming down the aisle:




I've always had a struggle with maintaining a healthy weight. Even when I was in high school and barely 125 lbs..I had "thick thighs" and got teased. So naturally, I do not want to waddle down the aisle looking like a big, puffy marshmallow. I picked a wedding dress that will suck in my shape. But knowing the tag says "Size 20" is so disheartening. And most of it is boobs and my tummy...blah!

I have a dress fitting in almost a month. And I know that I will not have lost anything. I thought about doing some Arden's Garden detox for a few days. Or just forgoing meat. Or giving up my daily, 2 oz chocolate habit....
But I like food. And I like working out. But I also don't like having liver issues or a slow thyroid…

Random Wedding Vents: From A to Z

(Kim..you were beautiful but girl..3 dresses?? Nah....)
Random Wedding Vent: After watching a few (ok countless...) wedding videos on Vimeo...these are the things that annoy me

a) when folks do a Bruh-man "bop" down the aisle or a slow two step or some kind of elaborate processional. Foolishness. Just walk at a normal pace....
 b) explicit rap lyrics at the reception. Granny does not need to hear "F*CKING Problems"by A$AP Rocky in all its glory 
c) folks who eat before the bride and groom get their food. We get it..you are hungry....
d) bridesmaids dresses that do not take into account everyone's body type. Everyone doesn't need to be in short or strapless. How rude of you....
e) lude and "bedroom" type private dances for the groom. Dont't nobody's MeeMaw need to be subjected to that either. 
f) actually choreographed dances to Beyonce or anything else makes me sick. We get it..he made your 'LOVE ON TOP"  or has you "drunk in love&…

Life Lessons: Kiss Me Anyway.....

Yesterday I was mad.

I mean boiling-point mad, at my fiance'. I think it's the stress of everything. Wedding planning. New Home. New Job. My mother being ill. I've been ill......a lot of stuff. And it all spilled over one fateful Monday. Well actually, to be fair, it started on Sunday, and spilled over into Monday. I had had it up to HERE with everything, and that included my fiance' (quite unfairly).

We rode to work together in relative silence, only chuckling here and there over the morning radio show. As I exited the car, I said "Ok bye"...and entered my building.

Later on that evening, he returned home. He said his day was "just ok" which to me translated into it being kinda crappy. I was like "Oh"....and he said something very poignant:

"When I dropped you off, you didn't give me my sugar (kiss). When you kiss me, that's my covering for the day...........I missed my sugar. Even if I am mad at you or vice-versa, then kiss …

Lessons a Divorcee' Learns Planning Her Second Wedding

(no that's not me...or my groom! LOL)
*blows dust off this puppy*

Hey y'all!

It's been far too long since I've blogged. But my good friend @EarthAngel172 on Twitter was curious about me..how was doing and how the wedding plans were going! Now that I was forced to sit my booty down  (I had some minor outpatient surgery...no worries..I'm good)...I can now sit and am forced and I am willing to write this blog.

Wedding planning is...well.....I will say that I've learned so much as a bride for the second time. Here are the highlights



1) You Cannot Compare Apples to Oranges... so stop doing it!!

This experience of being a bride for the second time is not going to be like the first time. It's not. Our major arguments and disagreements during this process have largely been about "Hey..I did that the first time so I don't wanna do it again". Silly stuff. Like a personalized aisle runner. Or who to invite...or even having a wedding at all. Most of all...…