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Showing posts from October, 2010

The Curious Case of Mr. Farrahkhan Comb-Over: Part II

If you’ve caught up with my blog, you’ll recall my post on Mr. Comb-Over. When we last left our adventures on the public transporation, I was going to ask Mr. Comb-Over his name but we got distracted by the crazy homeless man spewing foolishness about Mexicans and white people…Anyway….this brings us to yesterday. Mondays I work quite late. So I don’t get off until an hour after my normal time. I made it downtown and I thought to myself…I probably won’t even see Mr. Comb-over! Oh well….(This has also become a marker of what TIME it is when I see him..so I know when I’ll get home…so he’s a virtual clock. LOL) I am walking down the steps and I walk past the crowd and stand in my usual spot on the platform. I was reading my book for class (which I still don’t understand). All of a sudden..I look to my left and he’s there…I heard him on the phone saying “I called to speak to you, Mama…aren’t you the greatest Mama in the world?” Oh gosh! He’s a mama’s boy..Aww…that’s sweet (lol). So I sorta ea…

Sometimes You Sound Better Naked

a.k.a. “A Tale of  ( and Letter to) Two Talkers”


 The Dingbat Slugger
Men, too, can have a case of the “ditzy blonde”.  They talk in circles about pretty much nothing.. If you try and talk about current events, they give you the blank face. And sometimes…we need an exposed penis to be distracted from your lazy, boring , uneventful everyday convo.  That dizty, dingbat is YOU good sir.
Sometimes I just wanna duck tape you, dude and have you just do the mechanics- naked, wanting, and with a big, thick Louisville Slugger staff. In any other situation, you’d bore me otherwise.  On dates you just sit there stuffing your face or talking about YOURSELF, cutting me off and talking in circles. And if your joint wasn’t so banging, I would have gotten rid of you a long time ago. So for our sake and the sake of orgasms, just STFU.
Furthermore, you notice that I don’t call you until I want some(thing). I used to get mad that all you wanted to do was text but now I realize you don’t have shit pertinent…

The Adventures of Mr. Farrakhan Comb-Over

If you all follow me on Twitter, you know that I often tweet about my adventures on our local public transportation. Sometimes, I'll even sneak a Twitpic here or there for some comedy. So much ignorance occurs on the train..


Recently, I've had a series of tweets about a guy with a serious Minister Farrakhan Comb-Over.... Yes..his hair is wavy...like Farrakhan..and parted on the side like Booker T. Washington....yet the man has a HOLE in the top of his natural. Sorta like the good minister himself....

(God bless the Hon. Minister..but his hair has just GOT to go...let it go, Brother Minister!!)
 As a matter of fact...I talked about dude on one of my earlier blogs about "accountability" and really fucked up hairlines. Someone is cutting this man's hair..taking his money..and LYING to him. The edge up and neck line stays fresh!

Anyway...
The man is VERY attractive.  Caramel colored. Great smile. He may be in his late 30s/early 40s. Dresses sharp...no wedding band (oh yea…

A Short Blog: Truth of the Matter Is

..I might be a tad bit more "prudish" than folks think.

I was thinking back to my video blog on the Kegel Excerciser (which BTW..I really appreciate all the feedback on it and some of you actually decided to order one..or a version if it). BUT...I had guys (some that I knew) writing me and commenting to me about it (sidebar of course):

"DAMN!..so what level did you get to?"
"Can I watch next time?"
"You dont need that thing...practice with me"
"I bet you masterbated with it didnt you"
"I just keep looking at your_____"


*sigh*...I thought a video would be fun..but I think I'm not gonna do anymore product reviews via video.

The blog is Sex and the Southern Belle..therefore we talk about sex...sexual health and responsibility...dating...toys...relationships..etc.

But I'm not your personal porn star. Nor are my videos your "foreplay". It's aggrevating...I'm not some wanton sex kitten. I'm just Mocha. The …

Feeling/Not Feeling

Feeling

tired...all the damn timeBreyer's Chocolate Ice Cream Sandwicheslike dusting off my NikesWillow Smith's lil song! WHip yo hair, honey!Bruno Mars' new albumMickey D's sweet teathe upcoming blog designFantasia's Reality Show (guilty pleasure)The new season of DexterBoardwalk Empirehappy for my motherEdens Fantasys! They are awesome folks!like i should just have smoothies and salad till the end of the year.
Not Feeling this research class I'm taking. It makes NO SENSE To me whatsoeverI am fighting the urge to quit school everydayeating out all the timeWacka Flacka ...he's so trash!How McDonald's now has me hooked on the damn sweet tea.How Lil Wayne decided to disrespect my sorority in his song Gonorrhea.that my Dad is THE asshole of all anuses.....that I've gained 20 lbs in 4 months since being in school (not even kidding)Lyfe Jennings and T.I. must love jail....appreciateddiscrimination against Muslimsthis chipped pedicure...*sigh*being broke aga…

Keep it Tight: Kegels and Eden Fantasys Product Review #1

As part of the Ambassador Program with Eden Fantasys, I was asked to review the Dr. Laura Berman Juno Kegel exerciser.

I could go on and on about it but.....a Video would probably be best (WARNING: There is NO NUDITY! I am not DEMO-ing the product! LMAO!) 






As the manufacturer suggests:


By no means an ordinary dildo, the Juno™ doubles as a weighted pelvic exerciser, and many women find that exercising your pelvic, or kegel, muscle for a short period of time every day will greatly enhance your sex life by giving you more vaginal control. First you need to locate your pelvic muscle if you don’t already know where it is-it’s the one you use to start or stop the flow of urine.


For best results, practice exercising just your pelvic muscle for five to ten minutes a day...




It's so fun and easy to use. Trust me..you'll get a lot of use and enjoyment out of it.

I give  the Product a 5 out of 5: affordable, easy to use, and comfortable.



Please take a look at Eden Fantasys, guys and gals! You…

The "IF" Game: A Short Blog

Ladies.. You're familiar with this game. Trust me, you know it all to well.  It starts of with these phrases:

"If I wasn't married.."
"If I didn't have a girl..."
"If we weren't long distance.."
"If I didn't live w/ my fiancé..."
"If my baby mama wasn't a hood rat..."
"If I wasn't an asshole..."
"If I had a better job..."
"If I wasn't ready to settle down..."
"If you/I were older/younger..."
"If I wasn't so busy..."
"If I wasn't living at home..."



.....I'd be your man/we'd get together.

I could go on and on. It's painful. I'm not sure what the point if the "if" game is. Surely you don't think I'm flattered or it makes me feel better that SOMEONE out there finds me date-able. It doesn't. You are simply highlighting the fact that I'm still single and there aren't any prospects on the horizon. So.…

Ugh...Private Parts

Quite honestly, and this may come as a shock to you all, I dislike private parts. ALL private parts…

Men and women (but especially men) love themselves some private parts. Other women’s private parts…their own…they have no shame in showing them off. How many women know men who just freely snap a pic of their isht to send it to ANY woman? *smh*…Just proud of your Zulu staff!

. What’s so special about a penis..other than the function it has? It’s just not attractive. No wonder old folks called it the “one eyed snake”….

If you’ve seen one penis (size and girth aside)…you’ve seen them all. Snipped or unsnipped. Your isht ain’t special. It’s downright oogly. I mean granted..if you see something you like…(size or girth wise)..you may raise an eyebrow and be pleased. BUT..it certainly isn’t because the penis is a good looking organ (what organ is good looking??? None!)

If you are light skinned and your joint looks like Wesley Snipes..that just ugly.
IF you are dark skinned..and you have that…

Hypothetically Speaking

You are a recent widow after having survived a 15 year mentally and physically abusive marriage.

You have two children. A son, age 15, and daughter three years younger. For pretty much their entire lives they witnessed their father place his hands on their mother. Until one day you woke up and decided enough was enough. The last thing in the world that you ever wanted to do was break up your family. But, on the verge of a nervous breakdown, you could no longer take it.

So, mind made up, you packed your bags, took the kids and hauled ass.

Shortly thereafter your heartbroken husband died in an automobile accident. Drinking while driving, the news reported. His friends and family immediately blamed you for his bout with depression and subsequent  tragic death. Due to not wanting to cause an inevitable scene, you skipped the funeral service, never allowing the children to find any closure.

In fact, neither one of you never spoke with his family members since the day you left.

Everyone sa…

Good Idea, Bad Idea: Relationships

#Good Idea
commitment; realizing you are involved in a relationshipcommunicationcuddlingdo what you do when you did what you did to actually believe in the power of loveunderstanding that all the days won't be perfecttake your time and really make loveto remember that it's always the little thingsfor the woman to realize that a man is only "one man"for the man to understand that "Superwoman" was a cartoon
#Bad Idea
to exit the room once your significant other entersto believe that love alone pays the billschecking phone records, mileage, underwearthinking that farting is funnyto remain friends with your exinsecurity; not everyone wants to sleep with your mateovercrowding; fresh air is always goodcheatingchoosing to remain in a bad relationshiptelling your friends all of your business

The Best Part of Breaking Up

Addicted.
So much in fact that I hardly consider the relationship to be a relationship anymore. Why should I? It seems that she and I spend more time apart than we do together.
Although I have no problem with our unconventional act of romance - where it appears that we simply break up to make up. Honestly, I've come to prefer it that way.
Even when I constantly tell anyone still willing to listen. "It's over, this time it's over for good. I don't want to have anything to do with her anymore."
In the back of my mind I realize that, for every minute spent trying to convince myself and others how I no longer feel anything for her, it only enhances each hour eventually spent showing just how much I do. 
Due, in large part, to the understanding that my feelings will be shown in the most intense and passionate manner.
So, again, it doesn't bother me whenever we break up. Ultimately, it's all about the make up. And the sad thing is - I am thoroughly convinced that…

Likes and Dislikes: Sex and the Southern Belle

LIKES
a real talk blog, it goes HARDdoesn't bite her tongue allowed me to contribute to her blog vlogsblog smells like homemade peach cobblerher sense of humorsmart and intelligent dirty south flowsensual poetryher feeling/not feeling posts men can learn things about women, if we choose
DISLIKES
sometimes she goes TOO hard i.e. Superhead videofeeling like she has to explain herself"with her grown ass"when she doesn't reply to commentsmakes me wonder if there are any straight brothers left in ATL
i am not sure if her readers will feel my brand of bloggingdonate to the blog feature (hilarious)vibrator giveawaysher endless ability to stick a mirror into a man's faceon the real, there's nothing i dislike about her blog

Penetration: A Poem

Permeates
Penetrates...
Your scent in my nose...
In my sheets.
Engulfing
Inviting
Your scent mingles with mine.
When you lay in my hair
The scent just stays there
And I don’t want to wash it
For fear it will fade away
But indeed…it’s faded.
As soon as I think of the smell
Of you
Only you
My body orgasms
And the pain fades to the background.
My nose buried deep in your neck
Just so I can smell you
No particular cologne
No particular brand of anything
Just your smell
Each one different than the other.
I can’t focus on the taste of you
Or the feel of you
Just the smell of you
More powerful than any kiss
I dont need your physical
Just your ethereal...
But the funny thing is...
I don’t know who you are
The specifics…elusive
I just remember the scent
Penetrating…


Of a man.