Sex and The Southern Belle

Roots, the landmark 1977 miniseries based on the work of Alex Haley, was remade in a modern and edgy way via the Will Packer produced 4-night series which aired starting Memorial Day. Like most African-Americans, I hold Roots near and dear to my heart. I connected with the stories of Kunta, Kizzy and Chicken George..... and I was really skeptical that a remake was going to be good. I was so wrong . Not only was it gut-wrenching, it was well researched and visually stunning. The team of historians integrated and interwove elements of culture, music, food and art into not only the scenes involving the Mandinka, but were also careful to show the ways in which the Middle Passage didn't destroy our cultural ties. I was moved. Some things were hard to watch but so necessary. And I totally scoffed at the idea that some black people were "tired of all these slave movies". I never hear Jewish complain about the Holocaust movies... or Vets complain about war movies..... We c...

*sigh* HubbyDude and I haven't been married a solid month. And already..folks are trying to find our baby registry at Target, plan showers, and talk to us about "you ain't getting no younger...you might as well do it" Actually...all the baby talk started as soon as we got engaged. And continued well into that phase. Even at the wedding, his Uncle gave a speech and said  "And please....make some babies". His sister wrote in a card to use that said "I can't wait for our kids to play together"....  All this pressure! Sure we've discussed children. And yes..my age is certainly a factor (as is his quite frankly). But, I know that most fertility studies aren't accurate and most certainly are outdated. How do you explain a 45 year old Halle Berry having a kid? I don't think it's science...sometimes it's Jesus (LOL). I am not naive. I know fertility drugs and infertility are a possibility. I have health issues that may ...

A sorority sister of mine had some run in with a foo-well from her church. She said some ninny had given her number to a man in her single's group ( Violation #1...you don't do that! ) and he called her. During the call, the man goes a woman should "Submit to him in relationships, while you are dating/committed relationships and married......" She promptly  hung up the phone. And I do not blame her. Submission..... *smh* Men are quick to quote random bible verses about "submission" and how men should submit to God only..and women to their husbands who ultimately, get their instruction from God. That type of thinking is dangerous in my opinion. There is a spiritual disconnect going on there. Submission isn't about ruling over a person....ever. And besides, it is 2013. Get real. Feminism and social movements happened ages ago to free us from this thinking. Submission isn't bout a dogmatic way of men being "over" women. It's...

subtitled : The Last Blog in which I will EVER talk about divorce I started this blog as a way to heal from my divorce. But guess what....everything has to come to an end. I am so over it. I am over talking about how to heal..what to do...how to date...etc. I've done the work. I've come out shining and like a champ.  Everyone feels like I am the go-to expert on how to bounce back after divorce. While I am flattered...again...it's got to stop. I've moved on. And so should my readers. Nevertheless....this is a blog post about divorce. *shrug* As I approach my Mid-30's (Ok let's face it...34 is prob already mid-30s), I realize that most of my "give a damn" gave out a long time ago. I've hit a stride. And while I do have fear and apprehension about a lot of major decisions in life, one thing is clear: Who gives a damn what other people think. When I got divorced almost 5 years ago, I had this shame and guilt.  I felt like a failure.  Looking...

I love my mother. I truly do. She is my best friend. My rock. My ace. My biggest cheerleader and sometimes my biggest critic. But lord knows she can get on my nerves. And truthfully, it’s not intentional at all. My mother has the BEST of all intentions….except when it comes to dating. It’s just that her mind is stuck somewhere between 1970 and 1975- the very last time she’s had to actually DATE. My mother and I are 27 years apart. That’s a full generation. I’ve been able to talk to my mother about anything. And that includes boys and dating. She was there when I first got my heart broken.  When I got engaged (and she actually knew about the whole thing). And of course, she was there on the day my divorce was final, holding my hand across the table at breakfast while I had tears fall. This isn't to say my mother hasn't had her fair share of heartache and pain. But this is some new age stuff she just simply can't comprehend. Since I’ve been divorced, my mother has really...

...it's about a "we"...an "us"..a community of families being torn apart. In our marriage ceremony, there was a part where the pastor asked the community of our families (and friends), to outstretch their hands and point toward us at the altar. He said.."You are entrusted to support this relationship, It is not only the responsibiliy of the couple but also of their families and friends to see that their marriage thrive". Fastfoward just two short years later,, that promise of support had vanished and been broken and we indeed didn't make it. I realized then that divorce wasn't  just about US but also about the collective WE that we pledged to become: one, big extended family. Although it was expected, that friends just didn't understand and would try to help, family was another story. In having a talk with my ex-husband, I asked how my former Mother-In-Law was doing. I had gotten a feeling that she wasnt ok from other implied conversa...

The year is drawing to an end. I really DON’T like making “New Year’s Resolutions”. Instead, I’ll just make some “New Year Adjustments” Therefore: In 2010… I will finally do something that has held me back from being an adult... which is not give a damn. I will no longer tolerate the excuse of “I just got busy” with men re: their disappearing acts and lack of communication. I’m sorry...I’m not here for your convenience or entertainment. I’m taking brothers at face value. You want to “do me”. Fine... let’s cut to the chase so I can decide if ou are worth my time or not. I don’t need the “sweet talk” and altruistic motives if all you want to do is bone. That can be established in 2 conversations. I will not feign excitement or longing over someone who won’t be excited over me. I won’t act like I miss someone who damn sure didn’t miss me. No...”Miss me?” won’t work. And no...I’m not “excited to hear from you” Serial texters are OUT. Guys who actually call and want to date me...are IN. I w...