Sex and The Southern Belle

We've been married 2 years today..... (Photo by Made you Look Photo , Atlanta) The traditional second wedding anniversary gift is cotton. For someone black, that may be a bit of a difficult gift to give Cotton. Something that black bodies toiled, sweated over, were beaten and bloodied over ... sold and auctioned and ripped from families over... financed universities..... all in the name of King Cotton. Black hands that picked in sweltering heat. Not measured for their humanity but by the pound. All while we wore burlap sacks and rags. This same cotton, sent up North to be made into pretty things for Missy and Massa.... to celebrate their weddings. And we couldn't celebrate ours. Cotton. Today cotton is grown here and elsewhere... sent to China, Bangladesh and etc to be made into all kinds of things. Even traditional wedding gifts. 2000 thread count sheets of Egyptian cotton. Cotton handkerchiefs that wipe tears. King Cotton . Often times tied in a noose ...

(Photo courtesy of Montoya Turner and Made You Look) Well...well...well. I know. I had the nerve to come back to you all married ...and not without a single HELLO or anything! Well.........let me fix that. Hello, darlings! :) After one heck of a fun wedding (I know...says the woman who was adamant about not even having a wedding) and to one SUPER romantic honeymoon....(whew chile..if a baby was made from that I wouldn't be surprised), I realized I've neglected my blog for a minute. I wrote a rather somber piece after the whole Ray Rice incident. But enough somberness....let's celebrate......... I think I may do a bit of a  quick and dirty "recap"..... and throw in a few pics here or there....... just a few. The weeks leading up to the wedding were def more hectic than the wedding weekend itself.  I even had a shower in my office after I told them NOT to go through all the hassle. It all started on Thursday when I met The Dude's extended f...

As part of my wedding photography package, I opted against doing traditional bridal portraits in favor of bridal boudoir photographs. I had done something " similar ' in my first marriage but my ex husband was involved...and I hated the fact that he was in most of the shots. Needless to say...these would be different.....I'd be totally alone. I was so nervous. I spent days and nights planning and picking out outfits.... I had been working out but I was self-conscious because I wasn't as fit as I wanted to be for these photos. I was going to call the whole thing off but my mother seemed excited for me...and my aunt thought that this would be the perfect gift to give my fiance' on our wedding day. I had a room and floor full of Lingerie and Louboutins.....everything that seemed "sexy" or bridal...I had it out. I labored for hours over my hair and makeup and nervously paced the floor waiting on our wedding photographer and his wife (and thank God she...

(Kim..you were beautiful but girl..3 dresses?? Nah....) Random Wedding Vent: After watching a few (ok countless...) wedding videos on Vimeo...these are the things that annoy me a) when folks do a Bruh-man "bop" down the aisle or a slow two step or some kind of elaborate processional. Foolishness. Just walk at a normal pace....  b ) explicit rap lyrics at the reception . Granny does not need to hear "F*CKING Problems"by A$AP Rocky in all its glory  c) folks who eat before the bride and groom get their food . We get it..you are hungry.... d) bridesmaids dresses that do not take into account everyone's body type . Everyone doesn't need to be in short or strapless. How rude of you.... e) lude and "bedroom" type private dances for the groom . Dont't nobody's MeeMaw need to be subjected to that either.  f) actually choreographed dances to Beyonce or anything else makes me sick. We get it..he made your 'LOVE ON TOP"  or ...

(no that's not me...or my groom! LOL) *blows dust off this puppy* Hey y'all! It's been far too long since I've blogged. But my good friend @EarthAngel172 on Twitter was curious about me..how was doing and how the wedding plans were going! Now that I was forced to sit my booty down  (I had some minor outpatient surgery...no worries..I'm good)...I can now s it and am forced and I am willing to write this blog. Wedding planning is...well.....I will say that I've learned so much as a bride for the second time. Here are the highlights 1) You Cannot Compare Apples to Oranges...  so stop doing it !! This experience of being a bride for the second time is not going to be like the first time. It's not. Our major arguments and disagreements during this process have largely been about "Hey..I did that the first time so I don't wanna do it again". Silly stuff. Like a personalized aisle runner. Or who to invite...or even having a wedding ...

When I was married and a newlywed, my husband and/or I were invited at to at LEAST 6 weddings a month. (Not even kidding).  Every weekend was packed with at least the brief appearance at a wedding. Or  a trip out of town to go to a wedding of a friend...or a friend of a friend.....etc. It seemed as though folks wanted us to be there. Not because we were all that close..or that we were the best of friends. But..they needed that "newlywed" energy. You see...Me and the ex were THAT couple. The fun couple that laughed, danced, and looked as though we had been married 20 years. People loved us. I had my plus-ONE for life...and that was just fine with me. Fast forward to 2008....and I know of plenty of people getting married. Ask me how many wedding invites I've recieved since my divorce? 2. Yep...just 2. How many people do I know that got married? Tons.... Once you get divorced or are single, folks look at you as this "wedding pariah". It's not..."Oh..we...

(image from ClipArt.com )  " What about the man?", he said "Huh?? What about the guy??"  I shrug..slowly chewing my steak. "What if HE wants a wedding??? What if he wants that experience?", he said as he raised an eyebrow. "Wow..well I never thought ouf that...". I went silent. "Yes. What if he wants his family and friends to experience that? It doesn't have to be all big and extravagant. Something small and intimate, even?, he declared. I was sitting there in shock. Finally I said, "So...Men want weddings?? Hmpf..." "Yes...if he's never been married.... He wants that "feeling" too. Why are you punishing the next guy for something someone else did? Or turned you off from?", he said it kinda low, taking another bite of his chicken. I sat dumbfounded across from my guy friend at our nice, intimate dinner. We had been having a conversation about marriage, brought on mostly by our 20 year old waitress w...