I love Atlanta....
I just don't LIKE her right now.
I was born and raisedi n ATL. I will rep ATL (Decatur/Gresham Park) till I die. I love what ATL used to be: sleepy yet growing Southern metropolis that played by its own rules (backwards as some seemed) and did it's own thing..carving out a niche in becoming a great city. It's still becoming a great city, flaws and all. We have our little quaint spots..and plenty of green trees (probably one of the greenest major cities I know)
However, I HATE what ATL has become: overpopulated, pretentious, and full of people who thought it was the land of milk and honey..selling pipe dreams..thinking it is Black Hollywood (Or Gay Black Hollywood if you ask some)..trying to rub elbows with ballers and shot callers, fake, fake and UBER fake and people with an "entitled" attitude.
Truth of the matter is...ATL is some of that. And none of that. And MOST of that...is killing my love life.
When I was in high school and college, not to brag, but I had absolutely NO problem getting a dude. I went on dates..lots of them. I wasn't what you call a "club hopper" but I did my fair share. In 2001, I moved to North Carolina for Graduate School..I came back in 2003..and it seemed overnight my little city had changed. BUT..I barely noticed it. I was settling into trying to find a gig..I was already in a relationship with a man who would become my husband (who moved to ATl from another city Los Angeles...to start over and be with me) ..and I went on with my life. No one told me (or maybe I didnt pay attention to them when they did) that ATL was a cesspool of foolishness and skullduggery! *smh*
I can tell you, as a native ATLien what ATL IS:
It is so much of that and more.
Most of all..it's a place where the men are outnumbered by women: smart, beautiful, and thick women *wink* (LOL) So in dating and mating...the key word is :CHOICE. It's not about the gay folks here. It's about supply and demand here. Nice girls arent in demand (although men may claim they are)...it's about HOES (if you wanna be frank). Slut it out..get you a man..whether temporary or permanenet gigs. They are hiring for hoes (LOL).
There is an abundance of choice. Dont be a black man with a degree..half-way good job...it's like "B*TCH..you outta be GLAD someone is checking for you! It's plenty of chicks here". They want you to sweat them..YOU chase them. Aint that about a b*tch! Chivalry and dating logic is just thrown OUT the door. They have a serious rotation going on. Not to mention...you have to contend with the Latinas and white women and etc....this is the New South..you might get a look for a hot second..but interracial dating isnt a big taboo. The men have the upper hand. And as long as there is choices...no one is settling down (and if they do..it's much later). Men expect you to have your own too. Dont have your own place? Whats wrong with you? Dont have a car? Dont expect me to pick you up! Oh...it's like that. Trust me. They feel like they dont have to put forth too much effort because, well..they are the endangered species. They are what's hot in the streets!
And conversely, women have it in their heads on this "Im independent..I make my own money..etc. I WANT a man but I dont need a man"-tip, reading The Conversation and Steve Harvey's book like it's the Bible... Yet are lonely than ever. I am sorry..I wont advise my college educated sister to marry a Mickey Ds worker (UNLESS he is trying to own some franchises...) but it's tough. So many of US..so few of them. And because of the small population of men...women are getting a bit desperate. Some dont care about sharing dudes. Some dont care WHAT kinda piece of man they have...as long as they have one. Sometimes you and your girlfriend have dated the same man...............*shrug*. Dont be college educated, GREEK, go to certain churches, and some other factors..the circle gets smaller and smaller of eligability. Everyone here knows everyone who is Black in this town.
My male friends tell me all the time "Atlanta has Quantity..but not Quality". I dont get it. What the hell are you looking for? Just make the most of it. Find a good woman and stick with her. This isnt a rental car spot. You cant keep test driving chicks until you want to buy. That gets expensive (lol) and old.
I wish I could roll back the clock of ATL to 1999..right after the Olympics...it was a better place then. *shrug*
I wish ATL would return to those carefreee days....but I doubt it.
It's been corrupted.
....I'll just move to NYC (LOL)
(looks like Central Park doesn't it. NOPE..that's our good ol' Piedmont Park....)
I just don't LIKE her right now.
I was born and raisedi n ATL. I will rep ATL (Decatur/Gresham Park) till I die. I love what ATL used to be: sleepy yet growing Southern metropolis that played by its own rules (backwards as some seemed) and did it's own thing..carving out a niche in becoming a great city. It's still becoming a great city, flaws and all. We have our little quaint spots..and plenty of green trees (probably one of the greenest major cities I know)
However, I HATE what ATL has become: overpopulated, pretentious, and full of people who thought it was the land of milk and honey..selling pipe dreams..thinking it is Black Hollywood (Or Gay Black Hollywood if you ask some)..trying to rub elbows with ballers and shot callers, fake, fake and UBER fake and people with an "entitled" attitude.
Truth of the matter is...ATL is some of that. And none of that. And MOST of that...is killing my love life.
When I was in high school and college, not to brag, but I had absolutely NO problem getting a dude. I went on dates..lots of them. I wasn't what you call a "club hopper" but I did my fair share. In 2001, I moved to North Carolina for Graduate School..I came back in 2003..and it seemed overnight my little city had changed. BUT..I barely noticed it. I was settling into trying to find a gig..I was already in a relationship with a man who would become my husband (who moved to ATl from another city Los Angeles...to start over and be with me) ..and I went on with my life. No one told me (or maybe I didnt pay attention to them when they did) that ATL was a cesspool of foolishness and skullduggery! *smh*
I can tell you, as a native ATLien what ATL IS:
ATL is...
Beauty
Southern Charm
Good Food
Hospitable people
Old and New Architecture mixed..
Eventful
Fun
HOT
Fun
HOT
Inexpensive
Overpopulated
NOT full of gays (and thats not the reason why women are unmarried here....more on that later)
Distinctly full of NON-native ATLiens who like to complain..yet take advantage of the low cost of living, low mortgage prices, etc.
Seeing the same muthafluckers in the same clubs....and old chicks/dudes too. Well past their 30's in the club...
Megachurches that are LIKE the club.
It is so much of that and more.
Most of all..it's a place where the men are outnumbered by women: smart, beautiful, and thick women *wink* (LOL) So in dating and mating...the key word is :CHOICE. It's not about the gay folks here. It's about supply and demand here. Nice girls arent in demand (although men may claim they are)...it's about HOES (if you wanna be frank). Slut it out..get you a man..whether temporary or permanenet gigs. They are hiring for hoes (LOL).
Ok..that might be an exxageration.....but..
There is an abundance of choice. Dont be a black man with a degree..half-way good job...it's like "B*TCH..you outta be GLAD someone is checking for you! It's plenty of chicks here". They want you to sweat them..YOU chase them. Aint that about a b*tch! Chivalry and dating logic is just thrown OUT the door. They have a serious rotation going on. Not to mention...you have to contend with the Latinas and white women and etc....this is the New South..you might get a look for a hot second..but interracial dating isnt a big taboo. The men have the upper hand. And as long as there is choices...no one is settling down (and if they do..it's much later). Men expect you to have your own too. Dont have your own place? Whats wrong with you? Dont have a car? Dont expect me to pick you up! Oh...it's like that. Trust me. They feel like they dont have to put forth too much effort because, well..they are the endangered species. They are what's hot in the streets!
Then again..there are plenty of nice, single men.....they are just kinda ugly (LMAO)
And conversely, women have it in their heads on this "Im independent..I make my own money..etc. I WANT a man but I dont need a man"-tip, reading The Conversation and Steve Harvey's book like it's the Bible... Yet are lonely than ever. I am sorry..I wont advise my college educated sister to marry a Mickey Ds worker (UNLESS he is trying to own some franchises...) but it's tough. So many of US..so few of them. And because of the small population of men...women are getting a bit desperate. Some dont care about sharing dudes. Some dont care WHAT kinda piece of man they have...as long as they have one. Sometimes you and your girlfriend have dated the same man...............*shrug*. Dont be college educated, GREEK, go to certain churches, and some other factors..the circle gets smaller and smaller of eligability. Everyone here knows everyone who is Black in this town.
My male friends tell me all the time "Atlanta has Quantity..but not Quality". I dont get it. What the hell are you looking for? Just make the most of it. Find a good woman and stick with her. This isnt a rental car spot. You cant keep test driving chicks until you want to buy. That gets expensive (lol) and old.
I wish I could roll back the clock of ATL to 1999..right after the Olympics...it was a better place then. *shrug*
I wish ATL would return to those carefreee days....but I doubt it.
It's been corrupted.
....I'll just move to NYC (LOL)
That is frustarting. :-( But that's why you will hopefully one day spend a couple years in NYC, maybe do a semester of grad school here or something, I dunno. See how you feel about the quality/calibre of men here.
ReplyDeleteNYC isnt much better IMO. I personally feel that there is a drought of good men all over the place. Its slim pickings and im not sure why *sigh*. The old saying is very true, "A good man is hard to find".
ReplyDeleteI agree with the slim pickings thing... BUT I do have to say that NY men appreciate a good, quality woman with traditional values because there are so few left in the city.
ReplyDeleteI mean, during our courtship phase, my husband was bowled over by the fact that I actually enjoyed cooking, serving him his food, fixing his drink, and doing other little domestic things around the house. AND add to that that I was a career woman (with doctorate) and attractive to boot. He couldnt believe his luck, so to speak. Many career women here feel like they dont need to possess the domestic side.... and some (not all, just some) even sneer at women who still enjoy doing such things for a man. *shrug* At least thats been my experience with many of my (native) NY girlfriends.
So I think Tati, like myself, would be a rare gem here in the city. So.... its not to say that the (quality) men are so plentiful and our cup runneth over here. BUT, unlike Atlanta, the few we do have appreciate a good one when they find it, and they arent scared to snatch her up. :-)
@Y....stop trying to lure me to NYC. I got a few more years to get there...:)
ReplyDelete