Sex and The Southern Belle

( Maxwell...a little "emo" but def a man's man in terms of emotional content, seductiveness, and rawness ) I am a lover of R&B and Soul music.  I love music in general but there is something seductive, sultry and inviting in the sounds of one of our quintessential black music forms. It has to be my fav genre of music. Most of all, I love male singers that move me. Classic dudes like the Marvin Gaye, Al Green,  Jeffrey Osborne, and more recently, Maxwell, Anthony Hamilton, Musiq Soulchild, and D'Angelo (when he wasn't fat or high). I love their voices. They seduce you...invite you in like a warm blanket near a fire place...with a glass of 18 year old Brandy....then slowly peel your clothes off with their voice... "I want you...to prove it to me in the nude.....addicted to the way you move" But music these days, are filled with whiny singing, begging jokers, and this new "Emo" dude. I mean..Trey Songz?? Frank Ocean?? Jeremih? Lloyd?  Dr...

So what does celibacy look like for a man? *crickets* Oh let’s not think that it’s not possible. Or that is laughable to think of this as some alternative. Or that men are “biologically wired to plumage and plant their seeds”. Wrong! Men have something I like to call “self-restraint” and control. Something that God put within them as soon as God fashioned them as a human being. Men have this fatal and dangerous belief that for them, sex is a game. Sex is something they can detach from their psyche and take off and on like a fine pair of Kenneth Coles. Their penises are not attached to their souls or brains (Little Head/Big Head) and that falsely, every woman must have penis envy.   That isn’t true at all. What would a relationship look like for a man if he got rid of the sexual component? Would he be bored? Or would he grow as a man? The quote from the book puts it best: "Sexual favor before marriage simply stunts the growth of boys into real men who can shoulder the responsibi...

If you all follow me on Twitte r, you know that I often tweet about my adventures on our  local public transportation . Sometimes, I'll even sneak a Twitpic here or there for some comedy. So much ignorance occurs on the train.. Recently, I've had a series of tweets about a guy with a serious Minister Farrakhan Comb-Over.... Yes..his hair is wavy...like Farrakhan..and parted on the side like Booker T. Washington....yet the man has a HOLE in the top of his natural. Sorta like the good minister himself.... ( God bless the Hon. Minister..but his hair has just GOT to go...let it go, Brother Minister!!)  As a matter of fact...I talked about dude on one of my earlier blogs about " accountability " and really fucked up hairlines. Someone is cutting this man's hair..taking his money..and LYING to him. The edge up and neck line stays fresh! Anyway... The man is VERY attractive.  Caramel colored. Great smile. He may be in his late 30s/early 40s. Dresses sharp...no w...

Mocha ( that's me...) has started accepting application for "Summer Boo". It's a temp job..available from June-September. After Labor Day, just like white pants, you will be retired.I must say.. The job has LIMITED benefits..and no guarantee of temp-to-perm status. In this "boo saturated" economy.. That's the risk you take. I got the idea from my friend Maria (same chick who a while ago gave me the ideas and guide on how to date a white guy ). She calls it "seasonal dating". In seasonal dating there is a clear drawn rule. We just kicking it for the summer . That's it. We aint courting. We aint dating. I dont even like you that much to take you around my mama or friends. I can pay for my own isht cause I dont need you to get the wrong ideas. There MAY or MAY BE sex...if I feel the mood hit me. Aint no catching feelings. Play your position. And once the wind starts getting cold.....at the final holiday of the season (Labor Day).we part ways....

My friend sent me an article the other day about the median net worth of black women in their liftime. The study said black women are worth $5. Yep $5....that's it. Here is the article from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazzette: You know what I say to this BULLSHIGGDY: Women wouldnt be worth $5 fucking dollars if we actually gave a damn about marriage, wealth building and overal community expansion of weath as a RACE. Stopped COHABITATING and got married. Valued education of our MEN and not measuring manhood in terms of bravado. Marriage can actually help your income (which is how the rich stay and KEEP it rich). Stop giving all your money to the daggone church and being married to Jesus (classic response by manless sistas). Stop going in debt over designer frocks and the hair dresser (none of THESE Mocha does.....) We do have debt....and the recession hit us hard (Even Ihad to sell my home..but I got divorced...so....thats not really the issue). We need men to be MEN and take their...

With Valentine's Day fast approaching, I'd like to share a few thoughts on the matter of the actual "Day"....and what it implies..for me..and maybe even for you What do the Divorced do at V-Day?? This is my 2 nd Valentine's Day as a divorcee'. You know, I never did get into the whole "day" although I love what it represents. I never had a "valentine". Even when I was married and with my ex for seven years, we never exchanged gifts. The most we ever got each other was a card. I think we MAY have gone out to eat once or twice (I truly don't remember)...and the only flowers he ever got me were AFTER we were divorced. * smh * The first V- dayI had sans husband, I actually had a date the night before. I had made it VERY clear that I felt first dates on V-day were bogus. I mean, let's face it ya'll ! People present their best, most romantic disingenuous selves on the day due to the ramifications (i .e. Maybe she'll like me..may...

*I'm going to try something different in my blog. This blog is about love, relationships and etc...so I thought I'd introduce my other love to the mix: MUSIC. I'm a big music buff.....LOVE good singers..love songs that have meaning...and that touch your soul. So every week, I thought I'd introduce a little musical interlude that I love..talk a little about the artist ...some artist you may know...some you may discover ....Enjoy* --Mocha Song of the week: "Everybody Here Wants You" performed by Kenny Lattimore (from the album Timeless ) (Originally recorded by the late Jeff Buckley (if you don't know him...get ON him...) in 1997, this song is so beautifully haunting....it gives me chills.... Kenny, a well-known soul singer known for his beautiful vibrato and falsetto does it JUSTICE.)

Dear Men of the Universe: Please retire the following tired, played-out, lame line... "You deserve so much better...I mean...you are just too good for me" Signed, Women who aren't dumb and can see through your facade and bullsh*t! If I hear one more dude tell me that, Imma scream........