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Showing posts from August, 2010

Members Only

Everyone likes exclusivity: Sororities. Country Clubs. Posh restaurants with exclusive dress codes…the Hall of Fame. We all want a place to call OURS that only WE and a select few can belong to. Black women these days want to belong to a myriad of “members only” establishments-namely “First and ONLY Wives Club” and “Mommy’s only”.

When I was married, I found myself part of that exclusive club albeit briefly. The “I won’t be a statistic, I’m an educated black woman who found someone and that someone found good enough to marry” club. I was fast-tracking it to several other exclusive memberships: the homeownership in a nice neighborhood club, the “vacationing w/ couples and having adult play date” club, the “always have a built-in plus one” club, and finally, the all-exclusively grandiose golden club of “Motherhood” which is akin to something like The Links, The Girlfriends, Junior League, and any other elite social-service club you could think.

That all changed on December 1, 2008 when…

Guest Blogger Week

In the spirit of all things amicable (and to give myself a mental/spiritual break as my Phd studies begin)...I am initiating a guest blogger week.

Starting this week..you'll get a lot of guest bloggers coming in to talk about a variety of topics such as:
homosexuality
romance
marriage
dating
finance
children
..and a hodge-podge of other stuff not necessarily related to my overall blog theme..but just stuff they like to write about and that I love to read!

Hopefully I can bring you all something new..AND peep you to the folks that I LOVE to read..that Im sure you will get hooked on as well

PS: If you want to be a guest blogger, hit me up in the comments area w/ some contact info and we can get started from there.

Salt on Wounds

Dear Readers:

I'd like to speak personally to you. I want to thank you for following the blog and reading. I want to thank those who actually comment...and like what I have to say..laugh and cry with me...nod your head in agreement..or even disagree vehemently. But...

...I'm thinking of scraping the blog.
I know..this may come as a shocker but I am. It's been theraputic. But I dont know. I think it's served it's purpose. I've vented enough about being divorced and single and sometimes sexless and etc.. to last a lifetime. There really isn't anything exciting going on with me.  I'm sure you dont want to hear blogs about school..NOT having a date and etc. I do love the people who do read and comment consistently. You mean a lot to me. But sometimes, talking about things are like putting a salt on a wound. It's never going to heal. People bringing it up all the time, is like pouring salt on the wounds of my life. All the encouragement in the world can&#…

Just Mad as Hell

“I’m not bitter…I’m just mad as hell”


I am not a fan of Tyler Perry at all. In fact, I think Aaron McGruder was pretty spot-on with his social-commentary on the man. But that one line, in Diary of a Mad Black Women, has stuck with me for years.

Men are so quick to label a woman bitter and she has “bitter black women syndrome”, is a bitch, or just mean if she isn’t smiling all the time, or putting herself out there for men. In fact, she is just sad, disappointed, and hurt. Now, while I agree that these things can manifest themselves into bitterness, I’d say for the most part that women  are more angry/mad/sad than anything else with “bitterness” being the residual outcome of those things. Residual doesn’t mean encompassing the whole being or spirit of that person.

I often get accused of being bitter…a bitch…mean…etc. In fact, I’m quite the opposite. I won’t say I am a ray of sunshine 24/7. Things anger me. And when they do, I am quick to express them in my very quick-tempered, Aries ki…

Feeling/Not Feeling

Feeling:
FREE....since I've disconnected my cell phone and limited my social networks ON PURPOSE. Those who love me know how to reach me. Let's see how I surviveFREE....since I let people go out my life.reading for leisureold episodes of Soul TrainScrabble....my new patio set...South African ShirazOld Whitney HoustonKevin Hart...what a fool! 100 Calorie DoritosFlourless chocolate cakepotential refund checks! WOO HOO!The Cooking NetworkNFL PreSeason

Not Feeling:
LOVED....the feeling comes and goes.HEALTHY...I feel so fat and winded when I run (LOL). Good lord.MUSIC...kind of a stale season for music right now. Kinda waiting for Kanye.the ability to shake this "unwanted" feeling. boots in the summer. How moronic!Terrell and Chad on the same team..two friggin coons!having to read for school. I love to read..just not HAVING to read.The Dream's music...just turriblejust because a dude is dark and bald..doesnt automatically make him SEXY. Please!wasting cash on BC pills..…

Give Away #3: And The Winner Is...

Thank you all for participating in Give Away #3......Pure Romance Smooth Operator.

Sophisticated. Sexy. Smooth! Each Smooth Operator is made by hand of sleek glass with a stripe that adds texture and a curved end that hits the spot. Use it on its own or slide the included 10 speed coated bullet into the end ring for exciting vibration. Try something new by chilling or heating the glass under running water before enjoying! Non porous and ultra hygienic, Smooth Operator Vaginal Vibrator is easy to clean after the fun. Bullet requires three AAA batteries.


All of the entires were awesome. Because I could NOT decided, I had a panel of 3 perfect strangers to pick the winner....they read through each entry and came to a concensus.. The Winner is......


AB  Your entry was as follows:
Hmmm... my current get in the mood song is "Neighbors Know My Name," because I'm noisy during sex lol. I've really been utilizing bbm lately to get things started... sending freaky messages and entic…

The Fairytale of the Faithful Man

I'm starting to believe that the idea of a completely "faithful" man is an absolute fairytale.


Most men in my life, uncles, cousins, and even my own father havent been faithful at all. My own ex husband was not faithful to me.  And up until I was a grown up, I thought my maternal grandfather was faithful..and he wasnt.  On a positive note, I can say he didnt make any outside kids! When my friends tell me they believe deep down their fathers have never cheated, I think they are foolish UNLESS their father came out and said "I DO NOT DO THAT!" otherwise...it's fair game to assume. I took an informal poll..and that was a very slim number of folks who felt their father's didnt cheat.  I didn't dare ask my married friends this. of if they think their husbands have cheated..most of them are living in La-La Candyland.....

After my marriage, I dealt with a man who was cheating on his wife..with me.  His reasons for doing so were SO DUMB and unbelievable an…

Sisters, Dating, and The Black Church

A friend of mine tweeted an article she found on CNN.com about race in America. The focus was on dating and black women…and how the church may be hurting black women.
I always keep an open mind when I read. But I have long felt that the Church isn’t that conducive to women. Note: I didn’t say religion or even spiritual belief. If anything, those are positives. But the church is man-made, often corrupt, and way too influential by man over the spirits of women. Religion teaches you to leave what’s harmful; The Church will tell you to stay. Sprit instructs you to be guided by a force greater than yourself, whereas The Church teaches you to be led by a man/woman who has their own personal beliefs. The problem isn’t “religion” and its influence on dating, it’s the Church. Women in church (as the article states) look to the pastor as THE ALPHA male, a model for men. That’s not a good idea…because this can manifest in romantic feelings for a pastor. We know all too well the stories of the …

It's Football Season, STFU!

Ahh yes...Today's Hall of Fame game marks the beginning of football season! It's Pre-Season! For men..this is almost as good as Christmas! It's sooo awesome!

As a chick who loves football, I'm just as excited! I'm ready for my game day snacks (and gaining 50 more lbs)...jumping up and down...and hoping that the Falcons backfield will give Matt Ryan some room and our offense steps up! I got my lucky Falcons hat out...and I am good to go (and I only cheat on my Falcons w/ The Steelers and those fine ass Troy Polamalu and Hines Ward)

Am I speaking a foriegn language to you, ladies?

Looka here.....Ladies..if you do not like football, as I have wisely advised, please STFU and provide (or order if your microwaving ass cant cook) the snacks to your fella (and/or his friends)..OR Learn the game. OR learn to "perform"  a little mic check during halftime. This may garner you happiness and/or a Little Blue Box. That is all...

Men dont ask for much. They love their b…

Feeling/Not Feeling

Feeling
SunDresses in the summermy little cousin Shay...she makes me laughnew baby smellgetting better with doing my own hairProp 8 being overturnedAve Maria (I love that song)outlet mallsthe color yellow on my skinthe fact that I make Tacos at least twice a month (LOL)My Current FB Status: If a wo/man wants to be with you, and they have a busy schedule, they will MAKE the time to be with you. Don't let that be an excuse. You won't be a "option", a "stop on the way home", you'll be priority..a welcomed destination. I just cant stand when I hear people use the excuse of "Well..they're just busy.that's why they dont come over/ask me out/call as much". If a person likes you, they MAKE the timeschool starting in a few weeksa fridge full of food..Greek Salads (I can eat that everyday w/ a different kind of protein...)baby names that I picked out....(but I might not get to use)Steak and Shake Steakfranks..yummmmm!Crystal Light on-the-go packs…

Dear Mocha: " I Want That Old Thang Back"

What happens when you break up...to make up...but the thrill is gone?


How do you recapture the love and lusty romance you had before.......OR is that even possible?

This is a question that a reader posed me via email:

Dear Mocha:
My boyfriend and I broke up about a year ago. Recently, we decided to give it another try  but things are different. I still love and care for him, but the romantic feelings I had before are gone! I mean, I dont find him unattractive or anything. If anything we've become better friends. In between the break up, I've been with other guys who sexually were better but of course emotionally were lacking what my boyfriend had.  Plus, my boyfriend cheated which is why we broke up. I'm struggling to be romantic or even sexual. Is this the reason why I cant get over the wall? I just want it back to how it was before..where we loved on each other all the time. I'd really like some help! I dont want to lose my boyfriend again over this!


Well reader...this …

NSFW: The Weekly Porn Review...

 ...When Porn Goes Wrong...

...VERY WRONG!

All around the internet and blogosphere, the people have been talking about Laurence Fishburne's daughter, Montana "Chippy D" Fishburn doing porn. Apparently, Ms. Chippy-D was inspired by the oh so great role model, dick-sucking for fame, professional athelete escort Kim Kardashian  as her catalyst for getting into the industry...saying "if her sex tape can make her famous, surely it can do the same for me". Hmm..ok dude! Your daddy is MORPHEUS! He is the Matrix, son! He was Othello!!

The screen shots have been released, courtesy of TMZ of course.



I feel for Laurence Fishburne. Every father wants to keep his daughter off the pole(and out of scandal). He has to be hurt and feeling like a failure as a father. What I dont understand is how she just could have EASILY gotten into regular film with her father being in film and her step mother, Gina Torres, is in film as well.  She's a gorgeous girl and so young (she is on…

I'm Just Too F**** Fine

...for this.


WARNING: This is about to be the most conceited post in blog history.

I got these awesome set of 38 DD"s sitting up here. I'm 31..and they are STILL PERKY! (lol).  I am not too big. Not too skinny. Well..I'm thickums..but I'm thick in most of the right places. Thick in the thighs..Pretty on the eyes!!! I have near flawless Mocha-colored skin. One time..a man told me I looked like "chocolate with bits of gold in it" (which is the best compliment I've ever had). I wear my makeup with the precision of Rembrandt...yet I dont look painted on. When I have the cash..I make sure my feet and hands are done. I have a face full of almond shaped eyes...the perfect pout and straight white teeth. And these cheekbones! My goodness! People pay good money for these! I have a laugh that is infectious and I have a sweet, Southern drawl. My breath is never funky (if so..I try to rectify ASAP). My locs are always freshly done, scalp oiled and smell heavenly. I tr…

Just a Little Bit: A Poem

(Or is it a SONG..we aint sure! LOL)

SO..before I begin the poem..a little backstory of the inspiration:

The Scene: One night..in my house..after a HOT and tiring trip to WalMart


The Time: I dunno..*looks at cell phone* 10:45 pm


The Scenario: My text message alerts are going off as I sit on the couch, cooling out w/ a glass of Sweet Tea in my alumni T-shirt






Texter: Thinking bout you






Me: *rolls eyes*..... Wassup






Texter: Tired from work but missing you a little






Me: *thinking..how is "Missing me a little" in any way a compliment? I'm supposed to SWOON over that??*






MIssing me a little huh? Ok






Texter: How you been?






Me: *thinking...*sigh...so we really gonna do this *  Fine? And You?






Texter: I know you are FINE. lol. I'm happy to be working. I want to take you on a date soon






Me: *wait..was he trying to FLIRT? ugh...* Really? Well......................that's nice. Have a good night and get some rest....



MISS ME WITH THAT BULLSHIT! OH..so NOW you got a little job and shit..you wanna…

Give Away #3: Pure Romance Smooth Operator

As you all know..I am a definite supporter of fun and safe sexual activities and health.... And if you are also like me, you also know how to please yourself.....and spice things up with your partner. If you don't have a partner, a good ol' B.O.B. surely comes in handy. I've definitely sang the praises of  my B.O.B from time to time (see previous post)...and heck...I even did a video about it. See for yourself:



Sex and the Southern Belle is proud to present Give Away #3..and have teamed up with Alica Beckford-Husband of Pure Romance by Alicia to give away something a lot of us single sisters surely do need....your own personal "B.O.B" called The Smooth Operator- a GLASS vibrator. I giggled with delight because I LOVE glass vibrators and trust me ladies, this one will provide hours of fun!!!
Sophisticated. Sexy. Smooth! Each Smooth Operator is made by hand of sleek glass with a stripe that adds texture and a curved end that hits the spot. Use it on its own or slide…