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Feeling/Not Feeling: The NYE Edition

FEELING

NYE signals that  the BS from the past year is overI've had a trying year...a GOOD but trying year...but I am ready to BOUNCE to 2012Iv'e already kicked my fitness goals into high gear.I gotta keep these resolutions Seriously...Hearing "What are you doing NYE?" followed by "Baby It's Cold Outside" LOVE those songsThe Ball drop in Times Square....(or our little Peach Drop in ATL)I'm still celibate. I've stayed strongMaybe I'll get some in 2012 (LOL)Watchnight ServiceThe movie New Year's Eve. I wanna see that....Kissing at the stroke of midnight2012 signals almost being done w/ this Phd...Praise JehovahNYE fireworksI feel that 2012 is about to be a BREAKTHROUGH year! I'm excited (for me and a friend I've been praying deeply for)



NOT FEELING

Paying crazy amounts of money for NYE parties. Normally..the joint would be $10 to 15 on a regular night. Now you wanna charge me $150 to sit in a raggedy pleather VIP section w/ some old a…

Thursday Tunes: What Are You Doing New Years?

My mother's favorite singer of all time is Nancy Wilson. When I was young, she would play all her classics. She's a standard in Blues and Jazz. Affectionately known as "Fancy Miss Nancy", she was responsible for hits such as "Guess who I saw Today".

But what I remember her most was her rendition of "What Are You Doing New Years?". Given that  NYE is fast approaching, I thought I'd share this classic.



I hope you find someone special to share your NYE with.


Welcome to 2012!!!

Ready-Whip: A Poem

I remember when I was a kid And would sneak the can of whipped cream
From the back of our fridge
which was supposed to be just a sweet topping
On rare occasions And hold my head back Mouth gaping And squirt and squeeze the aerated goodness in my mouth Pause Breath And gulp it all down And sometimes for good measure Drown it out with some Hershey syrup.
It was innocent but delightfully sinful A midnight snack Sugar laden Empty calories I’d lick my fingers And giggle to myself. No one knew my saccrine secret
But I can’t do that with you. Or Can i?
Carnal aching Desire baking My midnight snack That no one knows I digest Like a hot apple pie With the a la mode being you Creamy Dreamy Your rock-hard Ready-Whip in a can A perfectly sculpted Bronze vessel That would expel sweetness on demand Damn man…
That’s it. I have to digest you Ingest you Inhale you To get you out of my system I have to put you into my system.
Then after that.. I can go on a diet.

Sex and the Southern Belle: The Year in Review

When He Writes: A Poem

When he writes poetry about me
It will look like sticky brown sugar
Reduced down
Until it bubbles and runs over
Magic and sex
Hot and scalding
He'll make me feel like
My ego isn't worth the praise
Words.. Honey comb dipped metaphors
As if his vocal cords belong to a lyre
He plays piano on my thighs with his tongue
Sometimes it's Mozart sometimes it's Monk
My eyes read his lips that linger with a smile
Full of sunshine and inaudible laughter
I drink his scent
His flesh warm to my touch
Evaporated heat of a cinnamon stick and warm brandy meld
I bite down on my lip
When I think of us
Together
Stripped down, into one pool of orgasms.
I desire him.

Then I wake up
Looking over at an empty pillow where his head should be
No imprint of how he laid down
No lingering scent
No honey coated melody of his "good morning"
No rush to jump out of bed to brew coffee and add 3 shots of cream to match his complexion
I think of when he wrote poetry to me
Only to realize they weren't poems at all
Just the …

Thursday Tunes: Simply Red....

I love the 80s. I especially love 80s music...where music was music and no one cared the color of the person singing the song. Enter Simply Red....the band headed by the red headed, blue eyed British soul brother.....of the 80s who had hit after hit... but my favorite is  "Holding Back the Years"


WHen I first heard this song,  I knew then it was something special. I was young. Yet almost 25 years later I realize that the song had much more importance than I knew. Often we hold on to memories...the years we spent with someone...only to realize it is futile. YOu have to let go....because nothing was really there at all.

 As Simply Red sings.. "I've wasted all my years....wasted all those tears....And nothing had the chance to be good...cause nothing ever could"


But I'll keep holding on..... 


(or in my case...holding out for the right one :) )

Feeling/Not Feeling: The Holiday Season

(Christmas in Atlantic Station: Atlanta, Georgia) Feeling
the smell of warm gingerbread, peppermint cocoa, and Christmas pineall the good food people cookcookie exchanges and tree-trimming partiesbeing around friendsChristmas Music....THIS IS the greatest rendition of Silent Night ever. Dont argue me down..I'll refuse to accept it: Dont you just LOVE Boyz II Men's Christmas albumBut it's not officially Christmas until you hear this: Best Gospel Christmas Album: Kirk Franklin....hands down!Mariah has a good Christmas Album too...I love her version of Oh Holy Night (and Im not a Mariah fan by no means..but I do own this album!)I Like Celine Dion's album too. Her version of Ava Maria...pure genius!But when I was kid...It was all about George Michael and WHAM! (LOL..that song is the cutest to me!) Dern..I just like Christmas music....so many good albums out there.Jackson 5, Stevie Wonder, Motown in general....SO MANY! :)When I hear Whitney Houston's "I Love the Lord&q…

Pretty Empty Boxes.

My friend (who shall remain nameless) convinced me to, JUST for a short time, and JUST for the New YEar, rejoin a dating site. She joined one too....

I hate to sound bourgie....but...I've noticed that I've had to "dumb myself down" on websites. If I say I am getting a PhD or work in the field that I do....most dudes are confused...or say crazy stuff like.."So..is that the highest degree right?" or.."What u gonna do? Work in a hospital?" or.... just any bevy of things that show me you have no understanding.

I know most of the world isn't as well-read or educated. But at the sake of my sanity, is it wrong of me to ask that a person at least be well educated. As in went to college. Or something of that sort that may have garnered them an accredited degree... I hate having to explain myself...or my goals...or my experiences.

In this respect..Ralph Richard Banks is right. Most African-American men do no have college degrees, so I shouldn't exp…

One and Done

According to a joint Morehouse and Howard University study, 73% of black women WILL be married at least once by age 35. It's a statistic that most overlook during this whole "poor black women cant find a man" media blitz that seems to plague my generation. It truly does give women hope (now whether they remain married is about the same as the national average... of 61%).

However...
I'm 32.

I'm divorced.


So does this mean I already had my "at least one time"?

Thanksgiving with my family since the divorce has further highlighted that this may be a possibility.  My little cousins, all grown men and women, now have their own families. Some are married. Some are not. Some are with long term partners. Some have "baby daddies"and are doing it solo.

But I was supposed to be the "ideal" one in my family: Educated, Pretty, Career Minded. I had the husband and the big fancy wedding to prove it. I had the house. Family holidays were a no-brainer…

Good Ol' Twitter Wisdom

I ran across an old tweet...


"Fear is paralyzing. I need courage, the ability to fight through fear. I am afraid to be in love because I'm afraid to be FREE. I am afraid to be in love because I am afraid to be and BE dissapointed. Above all else, I am afraid to be in love because...I might actually enjoy it. And for me..enjoyment usually means this is too good to be true..and bound to fail."




Gosh...I'm Confucious in this mug.....*smh*


(BTW...follow me  @TheMochaPeach)



Thursday Tunes (and a Movie): "Something New" ...and Van Hunt

I had a bit of insomia the other night and tossed and turned. I decided to turn  to the Oxygen network and low and behold....one of my fav movies was on: Something New with Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker
 Back when I first saw the movie, I wasn't as open to the idea of interracial relationships as I am now. But with maturity comes growth...and for me that growth included a better appreciation for the movie. Sanaa played "Kenya", the main character with tact and beauty. And Simon Baker as "Brian" was hot and steamy. I think my fav scene ever....is when he paints her toes...and tells her she needs a little "Color" in her life. *WHEW*! Talk about sexy..........(oh..and that sex up against the foyer scene was hot too).
The irony wasn't lost on me, an English major. The blue-collared (yet college educated) white guy, the "colorless", vanilla guy brings a lot of color to the "boring, vanilla" but professional "colored" girl. Tr…

Sweet Peach in Spoiled Pie: "A Poetic Litany"

This is a litany
For the sweet peach that was me..
Now fermented in what is now a spoiled, rotten pie.
First, she grew beautifully
Firm and ripe
Sweet and juicy
Under the southern sun
She was plucked...suckled...dripping down the chin of experience.
Leaving only a bit to savor.
Yet that bit I thought I saved
Little known to me was being swallowed up and consumed
By the bakers who wanted to put me in a pie
And ship me off in a box
They bound me up
Letting me sit and fester
Festering
Until the maggots came to devour
They fed on my sweetness..my ripeness..my nativeness
Until they gorged themselves
And vomited out my pit, my core.
(Or what was left of it)
to stay trapped in the sugary sweetness of an ever baking pie
In an even hotter oven.
No Ice cream to top me
Just flies and mold
Then the roaches come
To feed on whatever is left..
the crust and crux of me.

Atlanta...this peach, your native daughter has outgrown you
I've go to go.

The Burning Questions: Random Thoughts

Why is it SO EASY for men to move on? They move to a new city...they quickly fall into finding a new chick to smash. Divorce/Break Up....got a new broad within the week and marry her in 6 months. Break someone's heart...get another chick pregnant. I mean...where is the recovery time for your hear? It seems so cold. Especially cause the next chick won't know she's filler. The old girl becomes afterthoughts...if she doesn't materializes into vapor.
Why are my ATL born and raised sensibilities not a good fit anymore in the NEW ATL of fake asses, over 35 year olds in the club, everyone wanting to be a model/star, and no one dating? I gotta get away. I wont tolerate bashing my city..ESP by transplants because they are partly why the atmosphere has changed. I'm tired. The truly Southern Belle I am (and not in a Phaedra way) and that just doesn't mix well now. But if I go...where will I go? Here or abroad? Will it all just be the same?
Why are my misfortunes comedy for…

Kandi Burrus Launches Sex Toy Line

Kandi Burruss promotes her new Bedroom Kandi toy line at Shout Sept. 1, 2011. PHOTO CREDIT: Rodney Ho/rho@ajc.com
Former Lead Singer of Xscape and Real Housewives of Atlanta cast member singer/songwriter Kandi Burruss recently launched her own line of sex toys. Kandi said she was inspired by Dr. Laura Berman (whose products I have also reviewed as well)....
Kandi looking curvy and fab at her product launch party this past September.

The line, entitled "Bedroom Kandi by Kandi Burruss", introduces women to luxury sex toys that are sleek, discrete, and gorgeous with cute little names and "adapters". Lots of products resemble women's items such as lipstick or compacts! Partnering with OhMiBod (famous for their Ipod/Vibrator combination) and designer Matthew Pung, Kandi has launched some pretty "hot" products

"Happiness and Joy" vibrator "Kandi Kisses" lipstick vibrator




I love that Kandi is branching out into other areas beside music! This…

Giving D*ck Reports

Ya know, there were two cardinal things that my mother told me never, ever to talk about with my girlfriends when I got married:
1)You and your husband’s finances: Unless folks wanna put MORE money in your pocket…WTF can they do for you. 2)You and your husband’s sex life. If you start talking about it…you will lose it. Save it for a therapist if you having problems. And if it’s good, keep smiling, and keep it to yourself…unless you want the next woman to have it.

Now, because of unforeseen events, I had to call on my girlfriends for some financial help. So #1 went out the door. But those were trusted confidantes that really didn’t expect to go blabbing about how they helped me.
But #2….with all my heart I kept that close to the vest. I never ever shared how my husband and me had a great OR bad sex life. To this day, no one will know that except me and my ex husband. That is the truth.
But nevertheless…some people really share too damn much. And your sex life with your partner/husband/fian…

Feeling/Not Feeling

Feeling
The weather is changing..so I'm feeling warm, inviting, sexy, alluring..maybe even a little "daring"Like we skipped fall and are going straight into winter. Wow.........*burrr*Cold sheets. I like my sheets ice cold, then gradually warming up.Down comfortersMaxwell albums never, EVER get old for meArgyle tights. Patterened tights in generalIphone 4sWinter skin exfoliatingThat my feet are covered and I can save on the pedicures.This is prob my fav Monica song of all time.............I like Drake. Sue me! *shrug*I'm gorgeous. I mean absolutely stunning. And it's not my problem if other people don't see it. *shrug*



Not Feeling
That despite this weather changing, there really is no one to share that with...except my boyfriend TiVo (LOL)That this is me most weekends... (that's cocoa in my mug...LOL) That there is no point to my cell phone. I dont even get that many texts. People don't call.  Yet I want an Iphone 4s? I might as well go back to the days of…

Dear Men: Death to the "Hey You" Text

I am always inspired by other bloggers. I read and crack up DAILY at Awesomely Luvvie's blog. She is too funny.  The posts that always crack me up are her "sternly worded" letters, to celebrities, commentary on pop culture, and all other forms of rachetness. So, needless to say, she inspired me to do a "sternly worded letter" of my own to men and their use (well..misuse) of the "Hey You" text.
Dear Men Of the Free World (Regardless of Race, Creed, Religion, Nationality, or Color):
They shoulda never gave you nuggets cell phones. 
And with the advent of texting, I definitely wish to hell that that means of communication was never born. I am convinced texting was invented by a cowardly man who wanted to avoid actual communication at all costs.  I mean, you DO know what it's (texting) for right? Texts are quick little joints like "Imma be late" or "Can you pick up some milk?" or "Hey..Emergency..My cat died". You know, impo…

Reproductive Justice, Age, and Turning Tables.

I will be 33 years old in less than 5 months. By this time, I thought I would have a child by now. But such is not my fate.

In less than 5 months, it will also mark my being celibate (I hope) a full year. I siad that I would stop there. But I am thinking I am going to go onward...

I'm also a feminist. I am a womanist. And I am also an advocate for fair and equal reproductive justice. I believe I can do what I want, when I want, when it comes to my body and my reproductive rights. I am pro choice. I grew up in a very feminist, pro-choice household that advocated responsible sexual health and access to reproductive care.

I will be 33 in less than 5 months. If you can believe it, if I never have sex again....I would probably be ok.

*crickets*
I know. It seems shocking and unrealistic. But I am at a really good place spiritually.  I feel so free. It is a terrible, drowning burden lifted. This insatiable need to please another person who really could care less. For the first time since…

Feeling/Not Feeling: Halloween

Feeling:


HALLOWEEN! It is prob my fav non-holiday holiday....next to Thanksgivingcrazy costumesfamilies who participate. Like my girl Yakini over at PrissyMommy.com . I'm sure she has something  in store! She's always so bomb with her creativity.I'm dressing up for the first time in like 3 years AND going to a party. You'll have to wait and see what I'll be!I always think about how I wanted to be Wonder Woman and ran out in the cold on Halloween  in my Underoos, red cowboy boots,  and my mama got so madCandy goes on sale the day after, KIT KATS FOR EVERYONE!It's.....The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!!I'll have peace and quiet and no kids knocking cause kids in condos/apartments do not trick-or -treat. They go to the mall..which seems so lame to me.Parties! With a spiked punch!!!. (I throw the best parties..although I'm not having one..just going to one)Can I say Kit Kats again???I'll be around friends this year. It should be a great time :)


Not Feeling:



Thoughts on the DST Serial Rapist

MidWeek Tunes: "Resentment"

Other than "Rolling in the Deep", this song has been covered more than a few times (Ok.."Marvin's Room" might be a distant second).

It was originally recorded by Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham (of all people), and then stolenby Beyonce on her B'Day Album. BUT..my favorite version is the one by Jazmine Sullivan. Her vocals are deeper, richer and she just seems more emotionally invested in the song. Her phrasing is on point and you can just feel her pain.



My favorite lyric of the entire song is this:

"And I may never understand why... I'm doing the best that I can, but I...
Just can't seem to get over, the way you hurt me
Don't why you gave another, who didn't mean a thing... the very thing... you gave to me"


This song just resonates with me so much. I've resented so much in love and loving. The question remains.."How do you get past it?" Nevertheless, I'll keep listening to Jazmine and knowing that you will b…

So Now I'm a Lesbian??

In reading Audre Lorde (who is my fav author if you don't know by now), I realize that she hits on some real points that resonate even 40 years later. One point being, that if you are outside of the "norm", the heterosexual norm (whether you be gay or straight), pushing against male sexual advances and their aggression, then you are always branded a "lesbian". If you have no children...you must be a lesbian. If you aren't having sex...you must be a lesbian. If I won't give you my number, I'm a straight up dyke. No perm? Lesbian...

Audre Lorde said it best:
"Today, the red herring of lesbian-baiting is being used in the Black community to obscure the true face of racism/sexism"
At first I thought the whole idea of  men calling you a lesbian was immature and just out of date. Surely, guys these days don't feel that way in this age of sexual freedom and liberation. That is until it happened to me.
The Scene: My Office at Noon. I get an IM fro…

Feeling/Not Feeling

Feeling I love this. I got this from my boy's FB page. That my ankle is somewhat improving...Praise God This song by Zhane............still resonates with me. OH! And this one Black bras. I have about 10 of em. Seriously... The Occupy movement. I feel them........(despite some of them being privileged white people.) This new Robin Thicke....can't wait till we get a new album from him. Bubble baths with chilled glasses of Chardonnay. That may just be my fav wine actually... Hot cocoa...curled up w/ my afghan and Netflix That I dropped this wretched class. I think I have a crush again. It's lame. It's cute. I don't care. My little Nicki Minaj nameplate necklace that I got. I got my real name..it's cheesy. It's fun. *shrug* Kindle Fire..YES PREODERD Iphone 4s...ON IT How beautiful and awesome that my friends think I am I've been divorced almost 3 full years... I am glad to be here still. Spring break in Playa del Carmen...............yesssssssssssss :)
Not Feeling How most…

Words to Live By

"Black women are programmed to define ourselves within this male attention and to compete with each other for it rather than to recognize and move upon our common interests."-Audre Lorde

Mid-Week Tunes: "Fantasize"

Way back in 2005/2006 (which seems like umpteen years ago), back when two fly ass chicks from LondonTown were together, when one had locs and one wasn't quite a skinkty and multi platinum as she is now (lol), they made beautiful music together and called it FLOETRY. Although Natalie Stewart (the Floecist) and Marsha Ambrosious (the Songstress) do not make music together, the optimist in me hopes that they get back together....

But until then, I will post an acapella song that captures where I am right now in my feelings... I first heard them do this song way back that summer during the Budweiser Nu-Soul Concert Series (FOR FREE) in Centennial Park. It resonated with me back then, and still does now.



Maybe part of me wishes they'd get back together, begging for a reunion. But until then...I'll use this song as my spring board to "fantasize" about "being in someone's history forever".



Marriage Induced Amnesia

I was browsing Facebook one day and came across my friend’s status that said something like…. “I often wonder what single people who are itching to settle down and get married think they're missing out on." My friend is a sweet person, a great mom and loving wife... but I must say I was in no mood that day to read that. I don’t even think she realized how condescending the question was. It was beyond condescending...it was insulting.  Now, this is in no direct attack of my friend's standpoint, but folks have got it twisted, and I can clearly see why. I guess because I’ve been on both sides of the fence I know about the ache and hunger of marriage, how the dream gets fulfilled, and then the dream gets deferred and now you are back out here, aching and hungering for marriage. I know that marriage isn’t all wine and roses.  I never went into it with rose colored glasses...lofty expectations, yes..but never unrealistic ones. I know it is hard work. I know it isn’t going to make …