Sex and The Southern Belle

I had hoped for other hair... (My Little One Reading a Book Before Bed) ... for my daughter. No, I didn't want her to have "good hair"... hair that ebbed and flowed close to the weight of Whiteness. I didn't want that for her.  I didn't want her to have hair that was deemed "managable" or "a good grade". as if you can give hair letter grades or grade it on a curve. I just wanted her to have any hair other than MY hair. She inherited my hair. And I cried. When I found out I was having a girl, anxiety was replaced with dread. " Dear God.. I have to learn how to do hair ". See, growing up, my mother was my stylist, even way into high school. So in between salon visits, she would relax or press my hair. She'd style it or comb it. And I never worried about it. I tried and tried to do my own hair... and failed. The only style I could keep up were Brandy-inspired box braids (which some poor, Senegalese woman would do for ho...

You have "tiger" moms. Stage Moms. Hipster, Granola Moms Helicopter parents. Queen Bee  PTA B*TCH Moms. I don't really have a desire to be any of those moms. I've decided to create a new category for myself. (Listen,.. I know Black Panther is a dude. But he's my fav LOL). The Black Panther Mom It's probably not what you think it is. And honestly, I am working on the definition myself. But I am clear about what it is not. It is not any of what I listed above. And it most certainly is rooted in cultural depth. We aren't talking HOTEP-ness Erykah Badu levels of Granola crunchy. Just a rootedness (thank you Toni Morrison)  in Diasporic appreciation. A black panther mom is vigilant about protecting her young. She wants them to be strong, nurturing and independent but also kind, compassionate and considerate. She wants them to be appreciative of people who are different. And most of all, an appreciation of self, of culture and of the v...