Sex and The Southern Belle

As I enter my first full year as a divorcee, I have encountered some rather strange habits of the new breed of male species. Here is my run-down of my observational exploits in the dating world 1) The Phone Call Is Obsolete - Remember the days when your heart raced after you gave a guy number? And you waited by the phone for that all important “first phone conversation”? Well…gone are those days! They don’t talk on the phone. They say stuff like “I’m just not a phone person” or “I’d rather be hands-free”. Men don’t talk on the phone at all….which leads me to my next point…. 2) The TEXT has replaced Human Communication - Instead of getting that first phone call; you get the “first text”. WTF! You can’t call and say sweet nothings? Instead, men want to have lengthy conversations via text. They even take out all of the fun of being sexy and alluring by instantly asking for “pics” and sending dirty texts along with their LOL smiley faces. They want to ask you out via text! Damn you SMS! Yo...

In the wake of the recent extramarital affairs and mishaps of Steve McNair, John Edwards, David Letterman, and ESPN’s Steve Phillips’, I think that it may be prudent to write a little “handbook” on how to be a mistress aka a “sideline hoe”. I shall call this mini-book Hoe, Stay In Your MuthaF**king Lane. Now, let me first say I am TOTALLY against cheating. As a divorced woman, I know how that can hurt whether it be emotional or physical. AND..I was confronted w/ the reality of the DUMBEST chicks on earth (LOL). BUT...if you are GONNA be a sideline hoe, there are a few things you need to know. And for the record, I’ve never been ANYBODY’s mistress… but based on observations of friends, my own experiences via family, funny quips from girls on my webgroups (Twitter, Chocolatebrides, Xanga, etc) and the media, here are some tips the HOE needs to follow. 1) You are NOT FIRST Priority - his wife will forever and always be first. He’s NOT leaving her. So get those fantasies out of your head. ...