Sex and The Southern Belle

I'm starting to believe that the idea of a completely "faithful" man is an absolute fairytale. Most men in my life, uncles, cousins, and even my own father havent been faithful at all. My own ex husband was not faithful to me.  And up until I was a grown up, I thought my maternal grandfather was faithful..and he wasnt.  On a positive note, I can say he didnt make any outside kids! When my friends tell me they believe deep down their fathers have never cheated, I think they are foolish UNLESS their father came out and said "I DO NOT DO THAT!" otherwise...it's fair game to assume. I took an informal poll..and that was a very slim number of folks who felt their father's didnt cheat.  I didn't dare ask my married friends this. of if they think their husbands have cheated..most of them are living in La-La Candyland..... After my marriage, I dealt with a man who was cheating on his wife..with me.  His reasons for doing so were SO DUMB and unbelievable...

...from having an affair that is. **Note: The following is a semi-factual account gathered from not only my personal experience, but the experiences of others** I have been no saint in my life. I am 31 years old and I am bound to make some mistakes in my lifetime... Some BIG mistakes. One of which was dealing with a married man.... Let's just say I didn't know at the time dude was still married (of course he concealed it well)...but after it was exposed, it was TRULY too late to turn back the hands of time. We had gotten totally caught up. What was supposed to be one time happened repeatedly... He was a friend. Truly a friend. We had known each other for years...lots of years. I looked at him as a big brother.  I wasnt even all that attracted to him. He wasnt the finest (although he had gorgeous features) man I knew. And although there was obvious chemistry, we never acted on it.  But as things slowly got worse for me at the time in my life, it made it e...

In the wake of the recent extramarital affairs and mishaps of Steve McNair, John Edwards, David Letterman, and ESPN’s Steve Phillips’, I think that it may be prudent to write a little “handbook” on how to be a mistress aka a “sideline hoe”. I shall call this mini-book Hoe, Stay In Your MuthaF**king Lane. Now, let me first say I am TOTALLY against cheating. As a divorced woman, I know how that can hurt whether it be emotional or physical. AND..I was confronted w/ the reality of the DUMBEST chicks on earth (LOL). BUT...if you are GONNA be a sideline hoe, there are a few things you need to know. And for the record, I’ve never been ANYBODY’s mistress… but based on observations of friends, my own experiences via family, funny quips from girls on my webgroups (Twitter, Chocolatebrides, Xanga, etc) and the media, here are some tips the HOE needs to follow. 1) You are NOT FIRST Priority - his wife will forever and always be first. He’s NOT leaving her. So get those fantasies out of your head. ...

In talking to various men in my life (not necessarily IN my life, but just swirling around the peripheral of my life), I’ve come to an understanding about why men operate the way they do. Simply… BECAUSE THEY CAN I asked a male friend of mine why did he marry his wife and why is he staying? Innocent enough question. Is it monitary? Does she fulfill some sort of need otherwise? Is it a comfortable lifestyle? Is it her connections? He said “ The truth is that I'm w/my wife for the same reasons I married her. She's been a good friend, a staunch ally through some really difficult shit, we have fun together, & I love her. Nothing superficial. That's not 2 say that it's been all rosy obviously. It's been horrible @ times, a lot of time. But those are the fundamental reasons that kept me fighting 4 the relationship in a nutshell.” I’m sure some of you reading are going “Aww…that;s great”. Did I mention he’s been cheating on his wife for the past year (maybe more)? Yeah...