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Showing posts from 2015

Shouting From the Rooftops in a Whisper

*blows the dust off this blog again*
You know.. I am so terrible at blogging. *sigh* I wish I could tell you some fantastical story that I won the lottery and I just was trying to get used to being rich and having a driver... but that isn't the case. I haven't blogged because I have been very busy.

I am still in school. I have my comprehensive exams end of October. I am developing my prospectus. And I am working still.. full time and involved in big projects. I am still adjusting to being a wife.... along with other things. And trying to work out a schedule that allows some self-care. It's tough. And although I love Wonder Woman... I cannot be her 24/7. Shoot.. I can't even watch TV without feeling a tiny bit guilty... I guess Scandal has to wait.


I go through moments where I feel great about life.. and then moments where I feel like at any moment it can all come crushing down on my head. There are things going on in my life that I am so delighted about. Given the loss…

Real Talk Friday : Self - Centered Friends

#realtalkfriday (on a Tuesday): Serena, Blackness And Hypocrisy

#realtalkfridays: Juneteenth And Self Care

It has been a super rough week. We need to take a damn break!


For more about Juneteenth, go to www.JuneTeenth.Com

#realtalkfridays: Blackness And Cultural Exploitation aka The Curious Ca...

#RealTalkFridays: black folks and sexual repression

Say it Loud: I'm Black and Repressed

Black people need to get free.

If you based your judgment on rap music, porn, television, movies and covers of King magazine, you would think black folks are the most liberal, sexually free group of folks in the world. They show our  bare, tribal breasts in the pages of National Geographic. We twerk on stage with big butts in front of millions. We make Instagram posts grabbing massive sized penises while singing slow jams. We are half naked at Carnival. We can talk about taking the dick and sucking the clit.... But we can't talk about the beauty of sex? Just the animalistic nature of it. The Primal. The Base....

And we are bold faced liars. And they wanna keep us that way. 

Black people are so closed minded about sex/sexuality because the oppressor stripped that beautiful thing out of you, replacing it with shame. They browbeat us with religion, making us ashamed of our bodies. Calling all own black skins a curse. How on earth were we to be healthy and happy and whole about our s…

#RealTalkFriday: Brains, Beauty or Both?

Lone Wolf Workplace Syndrome

(Source: BET.Com ) 

I've worked my current job for about 10 years now. No... 10 years exactly. I have been a pretty autonomous worker. And trying to balance school, work and home life is challenging.

I cannot say that I was/am particularly close to anyone at work. Well... I was. I had a girlfriend named Lydia and when my job sorta consolidated into her department, she embraced me with  open arms. She was 10 years older than I was, had two kids, but it felt as though she was a peer and my older sister. We'd have lunch often. She gave me tons of advice. She let me vent to her and she would vent to me. And when I started dating my husband, she was rooting for me.

Lydia passed away about 2.5 years ago from breast cancer. And I miss her at work everyday. Sometimes I think I hear her laughing but I know she isn't here. She was my ally. She was the person I bounced ideas off of. She was my rock at work.. This loss has been magnified now that my mother is gone too. I would call m…

Love, Sex, and Losing my Mother

"She taught me the birds and bees! She taught me how to be a woman. When it was that time of the month, I didn't go to my mom. I felt comfortable going to my big sister".

My aunt Kerri said those words at my mother's funeral March 21. She stood there in her regal church lady's hat and suit, talking about her relationship with her older sister.  They shared secrets and things I didn't with my mother: parents, clothes, and heartache. My aunt spoke with tears in her eyes about her sister teaching her about sex. About love. Poignantly in the funeral home amongst others who nodded and appreciated her candor.
Mama died March 13.  Heart failure. A combination of things associated with her 35 plus years battling Lupus. But she was more than that. She was a survivor. Tiny but mighty. My father said she fought it until the very end.

She had only been married to one man but I got the feeling from our intimate conversations that she had fallen in love more than once. Alt…

Random Thoughts of a Black Newlywed Woman.....

I do not know where I went wrong with this blog. I got married. (LOL). I dunno... I guess this blog was supposed to document my "reinvention" after divorce. And it did...but what now? Where do I go from here? Am I still "reinventing" myself? Where am I going in this 36th year of life? I do not want to be that girl that "vlogs" and documents every bit of minutia in her marriage.Because shit just gets boring. And I am not going to do that. I learned my lesson the first time I got married with sharing too much. I wont be documenting my pregnancy (if I get pregnant) or anything like that. I want it to be about me... but where do I go from here. What can this blog be about? Can it be about sex positivity with a "soul"? Or something else.........I dunno.When I started this blog, I also focused on different self-improvement/spiritual improvement and thoughts for the year. I had an entire "Bliss" movement. Now...I am not sure where to go with …

Our #FiftyShades Movie Review

My normally camera-shy husband and I review Fifty Shades of Grey. Needless to say...we weren't truly feeling it! LOL.

Feeling/Not Feeling: Feelings on 2014....

A Recap



FEELING

Happy. I am truly happy.Kendrick Lamar's "I". It's my theme for 2015Like my life is just getting started That's a good thing.Proud to be all the things I am in my life: wife, daughter, daughter-in-lawWigs. I am so into them now which is wild. I have my locs still but I do like the changeMakeup. Always will love a good lipstick. And aside from most shoes...the only thing that will never "not" (I know that's a double negative) fit.D'angelo has come to save Black Musicand Jazmine Sullivan will soon followMaking Wish  Lists on random websites. I mean I will prob never buy half this stuff BUT it allows me to "shop" w/ out spending money. SPeaking of which...Like I am making some great strides financially. Lots of sacrifice but it's paying off.Nude LipstickDARK lipstick. Like super plummyMakeup Dupes..because I am cheapSupporting black businesses. Esp black  beauty Lines.Being married. It is truly a lot of fun.  a low key Ch…

Empowered

Things just don't bother me the way they used to...


Case-in-point.


I was online reading for class, minding my own business when I received an instant message.

"Hey you".

I literally had to pause for a second. I saw the screen name and was instantly flooded with so many emotions.  Anger. Sadness. Confusion. Disgust. Worthlessness. But most of all... I was all like.."Really dude?"

Picture it.... North Carolina..... 2002....

Once upon a time I cared for this dude. And I don't even know why. We met haphazardly one summer.We had one less-than-romantic-mostly-lustful encounter over 10 years ago.  When I wanted more he said he was "an asshole" who "just wasn't built for a relationship". Although only being 35-40 minutes from me, he never would visit me again. And despite all of that..we kept in touch off and on ...all through Grad school...even when I was married...even after my divorce. He was the dude who was some ideal of what I felt a guy…

Where Have All The Besties Gone?

When I was younger... I remember my first best friend..or the person that I called my best friend. Her name was Winter Kingsberry and she was in my 3rd grade class. I think we were drawn to each other because we were sorta outcast. The more popular, bitchy girls didn't care for us, picked on us... and we sorta hung tight, sharing dolls, playing on the playground and reading books in the Library together... I thought surely she'd be my maid of honor in my fake wedding to El Debarge.

...then I transferred schools and we lost touch.. A school where I was intellectually challenged but here I was alone.  Hell..everyone was some kinda kid genius here. For the most part, even if I wasn't friends with them, I had known those people at my first elementary school since Kindergarten. It was a close knit neighborhood school. Now I was being bused across town to attend a very elite Magnet Program school. But I was alone. I tried to make friends..but I don't think it gelled that we…