December 28, 2010

Breakfast: A Poem

I just want to have sex.
With you.
I just want to have sex.
With him.
And make him an omelet
An egg-white omelet
For Breakfast
On New Year’s Day
And send him home.
But I’ll have to ask
The question
The classic question:
What are you doing?
New Year’s
New Year’s Eve?

December 22, 2010

Ask The MochaPeach: Is It Like Riding a Bike?

Dear The Mocha Peach:

I am having a serious, anxiety issue. You see…after a devastating break up and having my wedding called off a month before the date, I have not been dating that often. But recently, I met a guy that gives me butterflies. He’s amazing. We’ve been dating for a while now. The only problem is: I haven’t had sex SINCE I broke up with my fiancĂ©. That was 22 months ago! I am so scared and nervous. I feel like I’d be really wack at sex now because I’m so out of practice. I literally don’t know where the f*** to begin.  I want to go there with the new guy but I feel like I have no idea if I’ll be able to please him. I feel like a virgin all over again at 30 years old. Do you have any advice?


Is It Like Riding a Bike?


Dear Is it Like Riding a Bike:

My dear, I want to commend you on not giving your cookies away for 22 months. My goodness! What a serious test of will power and selection. This goes to show that you are selective, you know what you want, and you don’t want to share that special part of you with any old random joker! Bravo! Furthermore, I know how hard it can be to be intimate after a break up. I took quite a break after my divorce as well… But you def took a great, healthy amount of time to heal from something so awful and painful.

But uhm.. HONEY! It has been 22 months.  We got to dust the cobwebs offa that thang! And you have every right to take it there after 22 months (and as a 30 year old) if you feel like you’ve met the right guy, and he cares about you and your needs. By default, you will not be terrible if he CARES (which is the key word here).

However, if you are feeling some trepidation about getting back in the sexual saddle and getting your inner freak reverse cowgirl on, then I say we take some baby steps. Try some self-stimulation if you haven’t done so to some erotic music. (Might I suggest the new TANK album as a soundtrack)? Watch some hot steamy love scenes (not porn…love scenes). My favorite love scenes: 9 ½ weeks, Unfaithful, and of course Love Jones.  Let your mind be open and your body be relaxed. Read some erotic literature (I do NOT suggest Zane.eck! I like the Black Erotica/Erotic Noire compilation). Invest in a good vibrator (I think I’ve done enough vibrator and other tool reviews on here to help you out). In other words, we have to rediscover what makes YOU tick.

Secondly, honey we must go shopping! Please get some new undies and new stilettos. Nothing makes me feel sexier than sexy, frilly things. Because I am a busty gal, I order my things from Fredericks or Ultimo of London (yep..I import my slutty wear..LOL).  But good, affordable things can be found at Ross, TJ Maxx, hell even WalMart.  And don’t forget a nice comfy pair for F**-me-pumps! They wont be on long anyway!

Lastly and if at all possible (and if you can stomach it), graduate to watching a bit of hardcore porn. We don’t want you screwing like a porn star RIGHT out the gate after such a long departure, just get the “essence” of porn star. We can graduate to full on porn star once the relationship progresses.

When the “big night” arrives, make sure you are armed to the T: hair done, nails done, waxed, shaved, pluck and ready to be f*cked. (lol).  Break out that new lingerie I told you to buy. I don’t give a damn if you all are watching a video and eating popcorn on your couch, at least you will feel sexy while doing so underneath your jeans and t-shirt. Start slow…do some slow touching…hands..leg…ears. Kiss his check. Start SLOW. Don’t pounce the man. It makes it seem so awkward. There is a fine line to seduction and cheesiness. And we don’t need you cheesy. Once you are relaxed, guide his hands to the places that YOU feel comfortable being touched and SHOW him how you want to be touched. Whisper it “I like it like this” or “Yes. That’s how I like it”. Don’t be harsh in your tone or approach.

If all you want to do is kiss and make out and go to “old school Second base” (not new school cause that means giving head probably), then that’s cool. Some over the clothes touching and kissing should ease you into the idea of sex at least. And with all the other things, you should be armed and ready to go.

Overall, what I am trying to say, dear reader, is do things at YOUR pace and YOUR comfort level. All in all. Things will work out. And yes, my dear, it is JUST like riding a bike. You may not have peddled in a while, but at least you know the basic mechanics so you won’t fall off.

Happy Love Making!


**If you'd like to Ask the Mocha Peach, send her an email via All questions will remain anonymous**

December 20, 2010

Relationship Resolutions for 2011

In 2011 I vow:

  • o To get out more. No matter my circumstances. I need to get out more.

  • o  To let sex be on the backburner for as long as I possibly can. Though the flesh is weak and men are beautiful, we got to be stronger than this.

  • o To somehow “turn down my sexy”. This is going to sound crazy but I have to figure out whatever it is I am doing that makes men go left…when I do not intentionally do it.

  • o To stop being so shy and actually approach someone that I find attractive. Rejection be damned.

  • o To actually have a “date wardrobe”: a wardrobe in preparation for dates so I can be ready when the time comes.

  • o To be ready. Can’t get caught slipping with the brows, nails, pedi, waxing, hair Gotta stay ready…never know when an opportunity to go out will present itself.

  • o Take chances. Open myself up to other races…. even “non-traditional” arrangements like long-distance, someone 10 years older, or even bi-coastal…hey…if a dude in this city won’t be checking for me. I’m sure someone else will.

  • o Try joining more organizations of a professional nature to meet new friends.

  • o To get a GOOD girl crew to roll with. I have no one. Smh No one reliable anyway.

  • o Seek no one’s advice but my own (other than professional therapist and maybe my mama. and that’s a strong maybe)

  • o Identify what my Love Language is. I am not sure what it takes for me to be satisfied.

  • o To get out of “wife mode”. I was a fiancĂ© and wife for so long I don’t know how to just be a “girlfriend”. So some stuff has to be turned off. The caring when I don’t need to…the cooking…the catering. F**K THAT! It’s about ME in 2011! IF you do for me..I’ll do for you. But I’m not doing for you off the jump!

  • o To date more like a man. Per professional advice…I need to keep a rotation of 3 (for a little while..not my whole dating life) so that I can experience dating more.

  • o To not keep quiet. If something bothers me, I need to speak up and say so.

  • o To not settle yet be open. If a person has 7 out of 10 things remember..70% still means passing  :)
  • o To get out of my comfort zone: vacation alone. Eat out alone. Be more adventurous and where I go and even who I meet.

  • o To not let guys come over for weeks at a time..esp. in the beginning of new relationships/friendships.

  • o Not spend the night and vice-versa for several months into the relationship.

December 17, 2010

Feeling/Not Feeling: The 2010 Year-in-Review

Feeling/ Not Feeling
For 2010

·         Living my academic dreams
·         Mariah and Nick living their dreams. Not a big fan of Mariah’s music but so happy she’s happy.
·         Hopeful for the new year
·         Having my mother one more year
·         Being able to bless others and have them be a blessing to me
·         The new blog design coming soon! OMG! HOT-NESS!!!
·         The possibility of shaving my head a la Chrisette come 2011. (I don’t know...this could be a phase)
·         Getting my debt taken care of…stuff is moving and shaking J
·         Revamping my wardrobe
·         Designing my bedroom to be more “adult”. I got that done. (I need new linens though)
·         My Falcons and their record! WOO HOO! (and MAYBE I’ll be able to throw a Superbowl Party! *crossing fingers* )
·         Forgiveness and friendship
·         The increased readers of my you all to pieces. *smooches*
·         Looking forward to traveling. Trying to plan a Ghana trip in Summer 2011.
·         Working on myself...for myself…and no one else…from the inside out.
·         A quiet, Christmas. Just mama..and some Cold Stone Hot Chocolate.
·         I think that I did pretty well in my first semester of school! *shrug*
·         Getting rid of dead weight. B*tch..Be Gone!!
·         Getting paid early for Xmas and we have almost 2 weeks off! SCHWEET!

Not Feeling
·         The hellafied dating experiences I’ve been on
·         The #1 thing I want for Christmas…I can’t get. *sigh*
·         Having to register late for classes because my job pays for it! *sigh*
·         Not wearing half of the new wardrobe I bought (lol)
·         Still not being a mom in 2010 *sigh*. Oh well...I’d be a bad mom time.
·         Bernie Madoff’s son committing suicide...sooooo sad
·         Michael Jackson being dead. I can’t come to grips with it..(and the Wii game being sold out everywhere! DAMMIT!)
·         The lack of good music that was released this year…so sad.
·         Being totally humiliated in so many ways
·         Not obtaining a few personal goals
·         Not bonding with a close group of gal-pals and falling outta touch with so many
·         Not traveling enough…I need some passport stamps!
·         All these soft-singing jokers that came out in 2010. LOL….
·         Stalling on the work out tip (we’ll get it together with a  better school schedule next semester)
·         Still being single in 2010. I didn’t have one, single positive relationship.
·         This being Oprah’s Last Year *sniff*
·         How they are trying to undermine Obama and the election results..sooo sad!
·         All the lame ass pick up lines I’ve heard this year
·         Unrequited love and heartbreak
·         Denim leggings being called “jeggings”. That shit annoys me greatly.

December 16, 2010

This Wicked Game....

**I wasn't going to share this on the blog..but..I've been transparent thus far in my dating experiences..why not stop here goes....**

I started carrying a convo on with a guy named ...well..we'lll call him Mr Violations (cause he had at least 4 of the 10 violations I talked about in my last blog but...Ialthough it was comedy...Ialso didn't wanna judge a book by it's cover).

Gorgeous..dimples..well-chisled..brown skinned tiny gap in his teeth..originally from Queens but living in DC. The convo was going really well via texting and chatting. So..we decided to take it to Oovoo (it's sorta like Skype but better....clearer pictures)

So anyway..we are chatting and the chatting was going well..laughing and what not. So..he asked (as they all do) I have any pictures. So..I send him know..full body...etc. I wasnt naked. I was well dressed. in my designer finest. It was pics from when I went to see Maxwell and some from earlier this year..and when I went to DC last time...Shoot..I thought I was looking good then....

There was a super long pause. Mind you..I can see what the person is looking like on the other end.

His face went from: winky toconfused towtf
I was like "Uhm...did you get the pictures??"confused

*SUPER LONG PAUSE...peppered with some "uhmmmms" and "errrrrs"*

He goes "Can I be honest? are a little on the heavy-set side for me"

Mind you..we still on the cam...I did my best to hide my impending tears and said "Well...ok.."

Then as if to qualify that he goes "Well..ya know..some women say that I'm too fit"

I'm like.."Uh huh...ok"whatevah What person in their right mind would say a person is too fit? He wasnt body builder status but I am sure NO WOMAN was gonna complain about him being "too fit".

The convo goes awkward..then  finally I say I'm going to bed and end it... ugh! N*gga I gave you a chance...Violations and all.

I tweeted it..and while people were very didn't help. I cried for hours last night. I didn't go to bed for another hour or so. I cried looking in the mirror getting dressed this morning. .Hell..I cried this morning coming in on the bus. I'm crying now as I type this. It was embarassing. It took me back to the 4th grade when I used to write love poetry to Miguel Davida and he found out..and in the middle of the cafateria  he said.."I dont want you. You are fat. You are ugly." OR when I was in high 125..I was one of the heaviest cheerleaders on my squad and I had to wear those short skirts and I heard chicks say "Gosh..her thighs are HUGE..." But to have things magnified like this.....*sigh*. No words.

That's it. I'm done. As my boy says.."IM OFF". In my 31 years on this earth..NEVER has a guy told me I was heavy set. Thick yes? Heavy-set? NO. And def not to my damn face...and DEF not making screw faces at pics I sent. Look dude..I KNOW I got my problem areas but damn..I didnt think it was anything a pretty face and good conversation couldnt make up for. And these were nice pics I sent you. Nothing was revealing..not even my fat rolls.  But Heavy-Set? When I think Heavy-Set I think Monique? Sherri Shepard? Or even Queen Latifah? But me??? I'm 5'4" and a size 10/12....double-digits means I'm "heavy set"??? A little pooch and boobs means I'm "heavy set"?? Someone's "thick" is the next man's "heavy set".


This dating game is wicked...WICKED. I've been much more polite about turning a guy down. I've never said "You are too FAT for me" or "Too UGLY"...esp after you seemed so interested before. I'm southern. I have decorum...I've let people down a whole lot easier. It is one thing to have a preference and stick to it..we all do..but it's one thing to be blatantly rude.

I give up you guys. I can't..I just CAN'T do this.  I dont wanna meet anyone else. It's always something. If it's not me "not being mobile"...then it's me being too "natural". And if it's not me being "too natural"..then it's me being "too dark".  And now it's me being too "heavy set"?

*throws hands up*

(I hope that bama trips up in a dark club while he's trying to take a bathroom pic wearing dark shades and doing the kissy face in the mirror with no shirt on............Hmpf!)

December 12, 2010

Red Light Special: One Day in Amsterdam (NSFW)

Our Guest Blogger is AJ. She's a foodie and world traveler. She's also one of my oldest and dearest "cyber-friends"...if you can imagine that! She's decided to give us a little Black American's tourist view of good old Amsterdam and their red-light district as she travels Europe this month for work.
(For more food related posts from AJ, visit her at


Hey Guys!

Note:  I am a food blogger, but I just HAD to get these thoughts out - and I thought Ms. Mocha Peach's sexy lil blog was the perfect stage for my sex-inspired encounter.

Some of these images may be slightly graphic.  This post is SO not safe for work. 

For 3 weeks, I straddled (no pun intended) the fence about whether I should go on a weekend trip to Amsterdam while I was in Europe for business. 
Decided at the last minute to book a ticket.  I arrived in cloudy, misty Amsterdam at about 10am.  Not unlike other trips I plan while overseas, I have a few places where I know I would love to visit, but other than that, I sort of let my feet take me wherever.  Traveling alone is awesome!  You don't feel tied down to anyone, you can be a complete tourist (or not) - I love it.  After i did a quick-hit tour of the city via boat on the lovely amsterdam canals, I hit the red light district.

I had no idea where this place was - i just followed the hordes of young college aged men. :)  Before I knew it, I was walking on lovely cobblestone streets with girls/women in little glass booths.  Yes, the Infamous Amsterdam Red Light District.

If you'd like to know more about the history of the Red Light District, check out this link. (History of the Red Light District 

I will say that visiting the Red Light District was a very interesting experience...

Top 11 interesting thoughts/things I learned while walking through the red light district.

1.  Sex Sells.  I get it.  However, do I really need a penis shaped coffee mug?  Or a tshirt with some sort of sex position on it?  Or perhaps Pinocchio with not only a growing nose, but also a growing penis.  OR how about a cute little stuffed bunny rabbit with a huge penis.  I can imagine that men with small penises probably get penis envy around all these phallic symbols all over the place.

I'll never look at little Pinocchio the same again... 

2.  Don't take pictures of the prostitutes while they're getting their hustle on.  Or ever.  Would you like to know how I know?  Ok, since you asked... I read on travel blogs that you might get cursed out trying to take a picture of the prostitutes catching a 'date'.  Of course I'm hard-headed...  I learned this first hand! LOL! I even tried to be slick by taking a picture of the geese swimming in the canals, then sort of panned my camera up to where the guy was (i guess) asking for her price.  Keep in mind that I was across the street.  This half naked girl jumped out of the window and was screaming at me in Dutch.  I'm sure she called me fat, and probably some racial epithet as well.  But hey - at least I'm not a prostitute! *ole bony heffa! hmph* But I guess I could understand her frustration - ths is her job - although quite unsavory for my tastes, but i'd hate to have somebody gawking at me when I was trying to do my job.

See the Red Lights?  And the Prostitute?

3.  To the women out there that feel like they aren't (insert any and every physical insecurity) enough....There is someone for everybody.  I saw girls of all races, tiny girls, no boobs, curvy girls with big booties, old women, and even plus sized girls (Hell this one sista looked like ME in a g-string! WTF?!).  And - there was SOME man out there that liked each one of them.  I swear that I saw a dude in full drag, but that's another story for another blog.  (Ok - fine - this ...person had huge boobs, but the face was all hard and manly.  I suppose it could've been a woman??  ok. probably not)

4.  I'd probably go to a peep show if I were there with my husband.  Primarily because I'm nosey. but not nosey enough to do it alone. it would be rather creepy alone. Did I just admit that?  shh.  keep it between us.

Peep Show!

5.  If I didn't see a dildo ever again, I'd be ok.  I walked in several sex stores, and i think I got sensory overload.  
 One of Many Sex Shop Storefronts

6.  I walked in one sex museum, and saw a mannequin dressed in a Santa Claus costume while riding a bedazzled bike.  I thought that it was strange, until I actually examined the bike.  Well...see this picture.

I see why she was pedaling so hard! The jury is out regarding which hole that pole is going...

7.  Europeans pay FAR too much money for sex toys.  Like, you seriously wanted 25 EURO (which is about 30-40 bucks) for a regular run of the mill bullet?  California Exotic sells all over the world, and buddy, you're getting hosed!   

8.  There are some...interesting fetishes out there in the world.  I guess it turns somebody on...I'm gonna leave it at that.

9.  Could you imagine 'the Hangover' in amsterdam?  Dude might not have went back to the US to get married!

10.  Americans are prudes. There would be demonstrations and all sorts of madness going on.  I guess Amsterdam figures - they're gonna do it anyway.  Why not legalize and (I'm SURE!) tax the prostitutes!

11. I imagine what the rooms smell like.  They probably smell like cheap french perfume, herring, waffles, and weed.  Oh, I forgot to mention - Cannabis/Weed/MaryJane is legal as well in Amsterdam.

One of Many Coffeeshops in Amsterdam

  Hope you enjoyed my little visual tour of Amsterdam's Red Light District!


December 1, 2010

The NSWF Weekly "Porn" Review: Because She's "Single"

...which isn't exactly "porn" But apparently YouTube (like idiots) thinks that it is..

Not too many music videos leave me speechless these days...but Mr. Raheem Devaughn's new one (which incidentally was banned from YouTube) has done just that. It's called "Single" (and swipes that Lil Wayne beat from the song with the same title).... It left me a little hot and bothered.

I'm telling you..I need me a thick, lipped joker who is well-versed in the ways of the Book of SWV, Chapter 1, Verse 1..."Downtown". Hammercy, Raheem! I woke up and had the video on my mind. Everyone has the fantasy of having a little trist in a hotel room with a very hot and sexy lover (could be your boyfriend or fiancee'...your "FWB" or even your husband doing a little role playing). I dunno if that makes me LAME for actually watching the video without sound and pretending the chick is a thinner, finer version of me (lol)...or I just have a vivid imagination. I've always wanted to show up to my man's hotel room, briefcase and trenchcoat in hand...for one unbridled night of passion.


Either all enjoy...and maybe get a little inspired to do the same thing :)

PS: I know this may be a little inappropriate to post on World AIDS Day..then again..Raheem is advertising SEX people! Get tested

November 24, 2010

Thankfully Giving Thanks

This Thanksgiving marks a lot of things and milestones for me. This is just the 2nd holiday season where I'm totally alone and single. Unlike holidays of the past, I'm also in a super excited mood for the holiday season. I was so pressed to get a tree and stockings and Santa Hats and Christmas PJs. (LOL).... I trimmed my tree last night, playing Jackson 5 Christmas CDs, and drinking  gourmet hot cocoa ( was Swiss Miss....LMAO!). I ordered my OWN gifts (and those for my family)...and gift wrapped them under the tree.

But this Thanksgiving is also sad for me as well. My mother still doesn't have a kidney (she's on dialysis) and my ex's Grandmother passed away. I really liked her a whole lot. When I found out the news yesterday, I just broke down and left work. It hit me so hard.... I am sure the white folks at my job didn't is family. A piece of paper meaning that we "dissolved" as a married couple means nothing....she was sweet as pie to me. I am so thankful that I knew her for these short years....

I'm reflecting on what I'm thankful for. You know I love lists... I'm thankful for:

  • God touching me with his fingertip of love and allowing me to live in my right mind..and have my health and strength
  • ...that God is a God of a everything: love, life, and happiness.
  • my mother....she's the light of my life.
  •  to have known my ex's Grandmother...she was sweet to me.
  • for music...the music of music..the music of life...the music of laughter. I'm happy
  • to be able to have a great holiday season.
  • to have loved and to have been loved..and to know I can love again and will be loved again.
  •  to be employed still..and every bill can be paid.
  • ...thankful...for being in school and working toward my goals.
  • ...for good friends..the ones who have my back and I know they only want the best for my.
  • brother. He's the best boyfriend I've ever had :) and truly one of my best friends.
  • and simply...just for life...

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving! Dont eat too much.... I promise I'm going to dust off my Nikes after I eat my weight in ham and potato salad :)

In the grateful!


November 22, 2010

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen

I think I'm a beautiful girl. I really do. (at least that's what my Mama told me and I dare you to say something bad about Marcie!!)  I think I have lovely bone structure and although we can all use some "work" here and there, overall, I'm not hideous. You dont have to screw me with a paper bag over my head. I def feel my self esteem is pretty balanced most days and I will admit, it took a LONG time for me to get there. That being said...I do feel like I put a "dating restriction" on myself.

I can pinpoint the day when it started...

I had a sorority sister who, by all accounts,  (I) thought she was a friend to me. I was in school in  a new state and around new people and she became a friend to me. She always wanted to set me up on dates...but..every dude she set me up with was NOT attractive to me. I went out on these dates because I was young and I figured a) I was bored, wanting to get out of the house. and b) I was hungry and sick of the meal plan I was on (lol). But spark. EVERY dude she set me up with was not cute at all. IT started to give me a complex. She said.."Oh..i just thought that these guys would mesh well with you that's all". One talked my head off..and one bored as a sexual deviant...and one was just there was no spark.

 I've always been shy and quiet..and I never approached dudes. But one day..I had finally got up the courage to approach a guy, one gorgeous half black/half Asian fraternity brother of mine. I was so excited because I got the guy's number. We talked..but I felt something wasn't right. He wasn't responsive. He didn't pay attention to anything that I said. I was crushed. I told my "friend" at the time and she goes "Oh gosh! Why'd you talk to him! You're not his type..he likes a more "fit" MY OTHER friend....I mean you have a great face but he really prefers someone pretty AND fit". I realized then that all the dates she set me up on were with dudes whom she felt were "in my league"....ugly, overweight, fat. Clearly, she didn't have a high opinion of me. And perhaps she even took it a step further and may have even talked to the guy. (On a side note..this same "friend" was supposed to be in my wedding and back out. I didn't speak to her again. BUT..when I got ex told me SHE was trying to set him up with folks....again...she wasn't much of a friend). I can't blame her totally...but I def know she probably just added heat to an already festering insecurity.

Anyway...That was it for me.  She had dome irreparable damage to my psyche. After that, when I ran across guys that fine, I clam up and would just avoid them altogether in social settings. I told myself I could a) guys like this were too attractive for me and weren't attracted to me b) never approach a man again and c) I'd never approach a man who was clearly "out of my league". This isn't to say I'd just date ugly dudes fro the rest of my days..and my ex husband wasn't an ugly man by any means. BUT..I def stopped dating or even approaching men and I didn't expect those kind of men to be attracted to me. I did try it briefly after I was divorced..and dude shot me down...and instead wanted to talk to my cousin (who wasn't even remotely interested in him). Once again...I was way outta bounds and it gave me a total blow to my confidence.  Dude was just a bit too "extraordinary". I figured I'd stay in my "league". Find a smart, fairly attractive (think more/less Hill Harper and wayyy less Boris Kodjoe) guy who didn't look like a supermodel, body builder type..he was just a regular dude who was kind and cute to me. I'd rather just save myself the embarrassment.

I've been in situations where a man can be so fine talking to me that my palms sweat, I get physically hot inside, and I feel nauseated. I smile through it but after a while I'll just excuse myself and avoid the guy for the rest of the night. Let him talk to a supermodel., a chick with a bigger ass, whatever. And I've done it to my friends..I know a good looking guy, avoid any hint or inkling that I may be attracted to the guy (and I very well could be) and I set them up with a friend, just to avoid any ideas that I may get about being attracted to the guy because deep down I feel like I'm not that guy's type. He wouldn't go for me and maybe just maybe..I don't deserve that dude. (if there's any such thing as deserving a "person" so to speak). In the event I DO meet a guy who's super good looking and the relationship went sour OR he left me for a girl with better assets, I wouldn't be surprised....I couldn't be hurt or mad. Could Gabby Sidibe really be made if Evan Ross wasnt into her??? Should she date the dude who played Biggie in Notorious?

Ugh...sounds like I need a therapist (lol).

Do you ever have that feeling that you meet someone and they are, at least looks wise, way out of your league? Does it make you nervous? Does it have you questioning yourself and your judgement? Is there even such a thing as being "out of your league"? How on earth can we get outta this "self imposed" dating restriction on ourselves??

I'm trying to be more outgoing and less shy, all while allowing guys to still approach me (Im old fashioned, definitely). I'm trying to allow myself to think "Sure that fine guy could holler at me if he was interested". It hasn't happend in a SUPER long time..but now I think I wont look at it with skepticism anymore.

November 20, 2010

Poem: Forget-Me-Not

I'm starting to forget what sex is like...
That's bad. 
I've started to forget what love feels like... 
That's worse.

November 19, 2010

Feeling/Not Feeling

  • Men hate them..but false eyelashes, when applied sparingly, are fabu!
  • Amel Larrieux and THIS SONG... and THIS ONE TOO ..she is so beautiful vocally.
  • My blogger homie  (and real life friend) having so much success and getting to interview her celeb crush, Wendy Williams:
  • Cashmere Sweaters
  • Sequins..they are the THING this season. I want them in shorts, leggings, cardigans.....*sigh* Obsessesd with them right now
  • Bubble Baths, especially in cold winter months.
  • an itching desire to shave my head a la Chrisette Michele
  • the itching desire to be a mom
  • the need for a sister circle and femal energy
  • diamonds. I will always love diamonds
  • Going green's the little things I can do
  • Real Simple magazine...
  • Colbie Caillet....esp this song w/ Jason Mraz
  • Black Girls INDEED Rock..(I need one of those shirts)
  • My simple Christmas List (*ahem*... hint hint): Marshalls/Ross/TjMaxx/DSW giftcards, a Wii in RED, a 40 inch Flatscreen, a classic Tiffany necklace and bracelet, Bulgari watch (HA! yeah right)...and a Kindle. Yep..that's it :)
  • the semester is ALMOST OVER! WOO HOO!
  • my upcoming trip to DC MLK weekend..cant wait to squeeze and love and  (possibly) cry with my girls!
  • Vegas...March 2011..It's going down..BASEMENT!!

Not Feeling
  • Kanye selling his soul and intergrity for some record sales. That Interview w/ Matt Lauer was a PR nightmare and mess.
  • someone as LAME as Tony Parker would cheat on Eva Longoria...gosh..there is no hope I tell ya if corny jokers think they can cheat.
  • this weight just won't go away....*sigh*
  • not having time to clean my apartment the way I'd like...and not having a maid. LOL
  • my slacking up on Pedis (and manis)! Just cause it's almost winter doesnt mean I need to neglect my feet. Even if I just do it myself....
  • getting married again. This all could change. It ebs and flows...
  • the way men are quite dismissive of women and relationships. It's sad.
  • people trying to hook me up who truly have NO CLUE about what I like..and asking me to make concessions. Divorced doesnt mean desperate. I am still YOUNG and attractive enough (I feel) not to have to compromise.
  • I dont have enough white friends (lol)
  • I just have no desire to has fizzled....
  • Perstistant, bugaboo jokers...*smh* Dude..pace your damn self...and get a clue!
  • the fact I can not properly wear certain clothing....which brings me to the next point....
  • the fact that plastic surgery is soooo expensive. I am quite candid in saying I want some work done. But..the costs are just..awful.
  • Essence Magazine is just terrible these days
  • I dont have a defined "style" many cute winter looks and Im both broke and undecided on what to do style wise.
  • my readership for the blog is NOT GOOD. I hate how people jsut read and never comment. I'd appreciate a comment every blue moon. I esp have ONE reader..who's probably reading now....who will bring up what I say in conversations with them. How weird are you, DUDE?
  • being stuck here the next few years due to school. I wanna quit but..I cant. And you just cant "transfer" into another PhD program.

November 18, 2010

Mocha's Beauty Guide: A Sexy Date Vlog

PS: I totally forgot to add the part about my facial exfoliant (I may have edited it's St. Ives. Apricot Scrub-Gentle Formula)

November 17, 2010

Divorce is Funny (and Profitable)

My girlfriend/sorority sister/legal eagle, Y, sent me a link to a New York Times article about the Huffington Posts new section totally dedicated to DIVORCE.- a section that has dating information, info on blended families, and even the effects of divorce (and of course..celebrity divorce gossip).  It's actually quite resourceful.  Even noted author Nora Ephron, known for her cheerful, happy books, is also a contributor to the section.  I thought to is PROFITABLE! Gosh...perhaps my decision to be a blog about "life after divorce" wasn't such a bad idea.

Well...Huffington Post's new section...wasnt an instant hit. It sent the blogosphere into an uproar, particularly with those dear, old (and often delusional) Mommy Bloggers (most of whom are SAHM's who think Divorce just will NOT HAPPEN to them). They called Nora Ephron (who is a contributor to the section) crazy for finding humor in divorce. Women took it so far to say Ephron was doing a disservice to women who were divorced to abuse or addiction in marriages .I'm sure when Ms Ephron, a noted author, decided to sign up to contribute to this section she wasn't trying to find the humor in abuse. Out of context...these bloggers went there! "There is nothing funny about DIVORCE!", they screamed from behind their keyboards.

But guess what..Divorce is funny. You have to laugh through the pain.  I won't even lie..I did some FUNNY ISHT during my divorce. I mean at the time, I didnt THINK it was funny...but looking back on it..I can laugh.

For example: During one of our major fights, I was so angry that I went and bought a bike chain and locked the fridge. My husband, who wasnt working,wasnt contributing but sitting at home eating all the food. I got tired of coming home seeing dishes in the sink and he was on the couch eating. I got tired of cooking and not being appreciated. So...I locked the fridge.  He was MAD AS HELL! I think he lost 15 lbs in a week (lol). I dunno WHO was feeding him...but it wasn't me.  I think he sent his cousin text messages like "OMG..I'm so hungry" LMAO! Bruh was NOT gonna get in that fridge....At the time I was furious..but now..that was probably a silly (and mean) thing to do.

Fights are funny. Actions are funny. Breakups can be comical. I've had a lot of funny break ups..funny last conversations that were clouded with my tears.  I said some funny and often times irrational things.  Men who've broken up with me..have said some funny shit. Stuff like "I'm just an asshole..I'd hurt you" or "Of werent the BEST sex I've had".  Or when your MIL get so upset that you divorced your baby...she wants the china back that she and her family bought (not to use..just to have it back)..and you stand over it..with a hammer...debating on sending it back to her in 1000 pieces. Yeah that hurts...but you gotta laugh at it. If we can't laugh to keep from crying, what good is humor as a soothing balm for what ails us?  Comedians would be out of business and TV sitcoms wouldn't have many plots to work with.

I'm gonna need these delusional bloggers to get over it....and laugh a little. And even my fellow divorced compadres....we gotta learn to laugh through the pain.

Because one day we'll be laughing....and it'll just be pure joy we are celebrating!


November 12, 2010

Poem: My Un-Apology

I will not apologize
For my desire to be loved
My desire to be wanted
Appreciated and needed.
I will not apologize for being so damn fabulous
That I want to share myself with someone.
I know I’m too fly to be in a perpetual dating circle.
Some of us are just “breed” that way.
T o all the women…
Who are accused of being desperate and pressed for “a man”
DONT YOU DARE apologize
For wanting to be loved, cherished, appreciated and valued
You hold your heads high...
Keep your hearts carefully guarded
And you say to the naysayers...
"Desire" is not desperation.
“Pressed” isn’t pressure.
To "Care" isn’t to have cloudy judgment.
Who wants to spend the rest of their lives roaming...
From arms to arms.
Heart to heart….
I know myself just fine.
How much time do you want me to be alone?
I love myself just fine.
Dont tell me I'm too young..

worry about other things.
Who said this was a "worry"....It's a want.
Next time someone...
Asks you to apologize
For something as innate as your DNA
You refuse…
And say
Fuck you.

November 9, 2010

Ask TheMochaPeach: Extended

Hello All! *waves*

Because I am swamped with things going on..."ask the MochaPeach" has been extended until Friday night at 10 pm.

I promise if you ask me a will be answered on my video blog THIS WEEKEND.

And because I know SOME of you are too shy to send an can send the questions via FormSpring anonymously 

I PROMISE I will answer your questions.. :)


November 8, 2010

Four Women

If you have not seen this at least 4 times for sista...

..these ladies did it justice. If they went on tour...I'd be front and center

November 6, 2010

There's No Money In Sex...

I absolutely love blogging. Writing is  and has always been my first love. I love that my blog has a pretty clear focus and that I get pleasure and enjoyment out of giving you all a sneak peak into my world of dating, divorce, and all things in between. I even got the balls and bravery to do some video blogs (vlogs).

But...there's no money in blogging...about Sex and Relationships.

I'm not saying I'm blogging for the dough. That's crazy talk! BUT...I'd love to get incentives. Slowly but surely...I participated in some cool give-aways and in some great review programs but..UNLIKEthe Mom Bloggers....which there seems to be a greater market for...folks aren't running to ME. Folks arent sponsoring me for contests or blog networking conventions or anything!  Unlike mom bloggers (or even pop culture bloggers), we  (the sex and relationship bloggers) don't get the great amount of PR or anything.  Some of the mama blogs I read arent even that good (lol)..and every week there seems to be a new one...but from a marketing scale they are SUPER attractive. It doesnt work and there's no market... I see my girlfriends who are mom bloggers withpubs on radio stations, in major magazines, and taking pics and networking with celebs. I'm proud of them..but I def want and need to get in on that. (I mean..unless someone knocks me up in the next year or so..and I change the focus of my blog around totally..I dont see myself doing

It's up to ME to create the market and demand....and this is where design, marketing and self-promotion will be key. I think I'm going to start a Facebook fan page seperate from my personal page....I already have the business cards and the new blog design coming. Heck..maybe I'll start my OWN blogging network for those who deal with sex and relationship issues *LightBulb* . It'll all come together because I'm patient. I also love the fact that I get emails from women (trust I'll be answering some of them SOON in an upcoming vlog) and messages from people who read my blog! I feel so so blessed! I didnt think my lil ol blog would be that awesome to some people.

I see bigger things for this. What was intended to be a hobby and place for me to vent, has turned into a full scale labor of love. And just like anything's gonna be hard work. I'm not trying to win awards. I'm just trying to get my message (whatever that may be) out there.

I'm ready :)

November 5, 2010

Calling All Readers: Ask TheMochaPeach

My Lovely Readers,

For my next Video Blog..I'll be answering viewer questions....

If you have a question you want to ask..about me..the blog..or love/relationships...Marriage and Divorce... or just about anything....feel free to send me an email:

OR If you wanna be anonymous...My FormSpring is fine too :)

I wil be taking submissions until 12 midnight PST , by TUESDAY November 9th :)

Feeling/Not Feeling


  • secret admirers
  • argyle anything: sweaters, tights, scarfs...I LOVE some argyle
  • Chinese buffet w/ all you can eat crab legs (YUMMMM)
  • this detox...I feel lighter..relaxed...centered
  • surprises that make me giddy
  • that people actually read my little ol' blog...and I appreciate the love! *hugs*
  • Men in the following Fall ensemble: cashmere v-neck sweater, dress shirt, tie, slacks and a slip on Kenneth Cole/Cole Haan shoes...MERCY! *fans self* Just pick me up off the floor now!
  • Modern Family (LOVE that show...)
  • Mayer Hawthorne. GET THIS ALBUM!
  • the fact that I have readers and watchers of the vlogs that just surprise me! :)
  • the fact that Kanye is gonna come with the heat....controversy and all
  • the semester is ALMOST OVER!
  • Marsha Ambrosius and THIS DAMN SONG!
  • that smart is still sexy to some guys...there's still hope!

Not Feeling

  • that out of the 8 years of his presidency..W thought that Kanye's "Bush dont care about black folks" was his lowers moment? So we blaming it on the brother again huh?
  • to be honest..I havent learned a damn thing in the classes I'm taking *shrug*
  • the fact that "the mentally challenged" can now be added the the list of men who approach me. WTF! So 50 Tyson likes to hit on me too? ugh
  • Also add Thugnificent and his patna dem to that list as well
  • unrequited love
  • being so bored with my look
  • the fact that this detox has some rather unpleasant bathroom moments (TMI..I know!)
  • people not making their intentions known UP FRONT! Wasting my daggone time!
  • men who move TOO SLOW OR move in their in their actions dont match their feelings.
  • the fact that I am so shy around the opposite sex.
  • that Undercovers got cancelled AND Boris is in tax trouble..thats so sad! *sigh*
  • having to break out the space heater so early! Brrrr!
  • Men who are TOO into feet. What kinda of a sicko, weirdo are you? LOL
  • Taylor Swift. She's pretty turrible.
  • singers these days sing TOO SOFT. Where are the HARD singing brothers??

October 26, 2010

The Curious Case of Mr. Farrahkhan Comb-Over: Part II

If you’ve caught up with my blog, you’ll recall my post on Mr. Comb-Over. When we last left our adventures on the public transporation, I was going to ask Mr. Comb-Over his name but we got distracted by the crazy homeless man spewing foolishness about Mexicans and white people…
Anyway….this brings us to yesterday.
Mondays I work quite late. So I don’t get off until an hour after my normal time. I made it downtown and I thought to myself…I probably won’t even see Mr. Comb-over! Oh well….(This has also become a marker of what TIME it is when I see I know when I’ll get home…so he’s a virtual clock. LOL)
I am walking down the steps and I walk past the crowd and stand in my usual spot on the platform. I was reading my book for class (which I still don’t understand). All of a sudden..I look to my left and he’s there…I heard him on the phone saying “I called to speak to you, Mama…aren’t you the greatest Mama in the world?”
Oh gosh! He’s a mama’s boy..Aww…that’s sweet (lol). So I sorta ease-dropped and heard him talking to his mother and his father as well..and chatting it up on family gossip. I laughed. He’s clearly a good, Southern boy.
As the  train was approaching..I was trying to ease my way into a prime location and he was right next to me. The doors opeed and he said “After you..” I said..”HEY!” and smiled. And he smiled. VERY nice smile. (lol). After we got on the train..there were no I had to stand next to him. So I struck up a conversation. “So ..I see you EVERYday on the train..what IS your name?” He extended his hand and said “It’s Dwayne…nice to meet you”. I laughed thinking “He looks like a Dwayne..” and shook his hand and introduced myself. He said “Yeah..looks like we have the same work schedule.” I said.”yes definitely…I work so late now…” He was like..”are you in school”….
..and there started a train-ride conversation. I learned that Dwayne was from ATL and worked for a pretty famous copier company. We talked fortune 500 and stuff. His family was in ATL and his parents were getting up in age and he checks on them a lot (hence the phone call). I didn’t ask if he had kids..or was married..or anything. I didn’t wanna know that. I figured we could leave that for the second ride home (where we actually talk). Furthermore, I am not seriously interested in the man because I find the whole comb-over thing too comical.  My friend Candi goes “Sometimes you gotta take a good country boy and clean him up and upgrade him a bit” (or something like that…her Dad said it to her..LOL). I was like..yeah that’s so true…but this man obviously seems set in his ways with that edged up comb-over. Besides...making a new friend is totally harmless. least I learned his name! *shrug*

To be continued…..


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