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Showing posts from March, 2010

Random Thoughts: Feeling/Not Feeling

Feeling
Orgasmsblow-popsNutellaRuPaul's Drag RaceStrawberiesLace boyshortsKit KatsAll the New Music that's Out: Usher, Badu, MonicaRaheem Devaughnfirst kissesLobsterThis right here....right here...gotta have oneNot Feeling
All these black celebs getting reality TV showsSleeping in the wet spotThongsBeing on a Dietcelibacybeing child-lessTyler Perry's coon-ismnguys who just "wanna be friends" and "kick it".Zane's Sex ChroniclesOrgasms

What are your summer boo requirements and how can one apply?

First off, the summer boo application process is rigorous. You must be attractive. Not cute. FINE. You must be willing to adhere to the terms of your short term contract. All boo-sim begins Memorial Day and ends Labor Day. There is no catching feelings or expectations There is no renewing your contract for the winter. For anything else...please hit me up specifically. Also, if you are not hired with me, perhaps you can find temp employment elsewhere. We do some boo placement every now and then for our trusted, valued clients! :)Ask me anything

Prose: "You's a Bad B*tch"

You's a bad b*tch...
...that's what he said. And of course...he meant that in the most "sexually complimentary" of ways...




After almost 5 hrs of "goodbye" marathon sex after work yesterday...that's what he said to me. As I straddled him across my dining room chair....



"You's a bad b*tch.........."


And there were other pretty raunchy expletives said..........but..that one made me smile and sorta turned me on and got me worked up.



I literally can not look at my furniture the same in my little one bedroom apartment . I broke him down so bad..he had a cramp in his stomach. I felt it under those well-defined abs.....far too well-defined for a man his age...(guess because he's a runner too....) and said.."I need to work that out for you". He shouldn't have tried to lift me (I'm 148 lbs of solid mass...) and bounce me standing up...his arms wrapped around my  thick, mocha thighs....but...



"You's a bad b*tch...........…

What You Can Learn From An Affair...

...from having an affair that is.

**Note: The following is a semi-factual account gathered from not only my personal experience, but the experiences of others** I have been no saint in my life. I am 31 years old and I am bound to make some mistakes in my lifetime... Some BIG mistakes. One of which was dealing with a married man....

Let's just say I didn't know at the time dude was still married (of course he concealed it well)...but after it was exposed, it was TRULY too late to turn back the hands of time. We had gotten totally caught up. What was supposed to be one time happened repeatedly...

He was a friend. Truly a friend. We had known each other for years...lots of years. I looked at him as a big brother.  I wasnt even all that attracted to him. He wasnt the finest (although he had gorgeous features) man I knew. And although there was obvious chemistry, we never acted on it.  But as things slowly got worse for me at the time in my life, it made it easier to lean on him. And…

I am Officially

(http://www.sexyafter30.com/)
...SEXY AFTER 30!!! (Also..those are NOT my boobs!!)

I'm 31 Today, Lovelies!!
*wink*


.. What are my plans? Hmm...probably dinner w/ my family. It's been a rather chill B-Day weekend. Not as hype as 30 was....Thanking GOD  has blessed (and better for it) me to see this year.


See you all on the other side of 30, Loves!!

*smooches*

Ask a Woman

Ladies: If a man was sweet, kind everything you wanted..we talking marriage material......but his winky-dinky was teeny-tiny...would you stay? Even after the "techniques" aint working?



Vicky
I can't say that I could. Because I'd always think of it just that way... and it would lead me to stray. Sexual compatibility is really key in my relationships. And can you imagine how much worse you'd feel if you found out that winky dink man cheated? This is where those news stories with women running their men over with hummers begins. Because she compromised something important... I'm going on a tangent. The answer is NO.


Mocha
LMAO @ your tangemt. It was much appreciate.


Yarny That was a good tangent, Vicky. Lol



Well, if "techniques" aren't working and I'm like a rolling stone (can't get NO satisfaction), then the only marriage I could have with that man is an open marriage. If he wasn't open to that option, then I couldn't commit to a li…

What do you love about black men?

Whew! What DONT I love woulda have been a better (and shorter answer given) question. All the shades of brown skin..w/ pretty white teeth set against it. Brothers just have this "rhythm" about their lives and their walk (No I'm not gonna use swag). There is just so much diversity: locs, bald, light/dark, thin/thick, short/tall...Brothers just have it all. I swear fo God..if a fine brother walks past me..I say a silent prayer and shed tears (LOL)> *sigh*..unconditional love...the shared "experiences". Lord...do you want me to write a thesis?Ask me anything

A Big D*ck.. Big Heartache

I remember dating a guy briefly when I was in college. We had talked for quite some time and finally decided to go out. He was gorgeous. Smart, kind...very much a gentleman and had a great family. He was into many philanthropic and service organizations. We had a great first date... and subsequent dates. 

Finally, when it was time to "do the damn thing"..I was so hype. Surely this thing was gonna be OFF THE CHARTS! We had so much chemistry. Brotherman dropped them drawers and.........


.<>

His penis was tiny. I mean TINY!  I had to look at it twice. Maybe he wasn't "ready". Maybe he was nervous. Was it drafty in here? Nope...none of those things. I couldn't believe it. It was like the thumb of a 3 year old. No gerth. No length. So do you know what I did??

I faked "fragile".  Meaning I was like.."Oh hun..I dont wanna rush this! Maybe we need to take it slow!!". He, being a gentleman, obliged. And that was the end of that. I sorta br…

Forbidden: The Haikus

You Belong To Her
When she kisses you tonight…
Will she taste my love?

You targeted me
I was vulnerable then
Calculating lust…

I can separate
The feelings I feel for you
Never love…just lust

I despise you so
Yet I can never resist
You begging for it

Positions I play
I know my place in your life
Just to fulfill you

“You a bad b*tch, babe”
You say as you go slowly
And burst into heat

Midnight rendezvous
Secret, hidden agenda
Delight our palette

I don’t want to hear
About your wife or your job
Your job is to f*ck

The old me would have
Felt guilty for this affair
The new me cares less

I come when you call
Yet your calling makes me cum
I am defenseless

You aren’t sexy
You aren’t even nice to me
You arekryptonite

Sex is explosive
We sweat out all our problems
Reality…paused

Some say what we do
Is scandalous and sinful.
I just say….it’s fun

I promise myself
Each time will be the last time
You know my weakness

After we finish
We go our separate ways
Until the next time

Seasonal Dating: A "Summer" Boo

Mocha (that's me...) has started accepting application for "Summer Boo". It's a temp job..available from June-September. After Labor Day, just like white pants, you will be retired.I must say.. The job has LIMITED benefits..and no guarantee of temp-to-perm status. In this "boo saturated" economy.. That's the risk you take.

I got the idea from my friend Maria (same chick who a while ago gave me the ideas and guide on how to date a white guy). She calls it "seasonal dating".



In seasonal dating there is a clear drawn rule. We just kicking it for the summer. That's it. We aint courting. We aint dating. I dont even like you that much to take you around my mama or friends. I can pay for my own isht cause I dont need you to get the wrong ideas. There MAY or MAY BE sex...if I feel the mood hit me. Aint no catching feelings. Play your position.



And once the wind starts getting cold.....at the final holiday of the season (Labor Day).we part ways...



Also…

Drunk Blogging

Warning: This blog is written under the influence of 110 proof Tequila...LOTS of Tequila





You ever see a dude..or know a dude..and EVERYTHING about him repulses you...he's a downright asshole..yet at the same tiem you wanna just f**K the SH*T outta him! LMAO! I got a particular friend..I'm instantly repulsed and pissed at him cause he says and does dumb shit....but something about him makes me wanna throw him up against the wall..kiss him yet grab his balls at the same time! LMAO! I got problems.

Truthfully...I just want someone I can go on vacations with. *sigh* But oh well.........



If I was a lebsian (which I am not)..I would NOT pick a butch chick! I mean isnt the point of being a Lesbian to be with a hot chick? That look like chicks?? I respect everyone's right to love who they want..but cmon! If i look like Nia long..why on earth would I screw a CHICK..who looks like Ice Cube??? Da fuck!!



I'm really proud of my boobs! They are awesome! Thanks mom!!

I'm too lazy …

A $5 Fallacy: A Short Blog

My friend sent me an article the other day about the median net worth of black women in their liftime. The study said black women are worth $5. Yep $5....that's it.

Here is the article from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazzette:

You know what I say to this BULLSHIGGDY:

Women wouldnt be worth $5 fucking dollars if we actually gave a damn about marriage, wealth building and overal community expansion of weath as a RACE. Stopped COHABITATING and got married. Valued education of our MEN and not measuring manhood in terms of bravado. Marriage can actually help your income (which is how the rich stay and KEEP it rich). Stop giving all your money to the daggone church and being married to Jesus (classic response by manless sistas). Stop going in debt over designer frocks and the hair dresser (none of THESE Mocha does.....) We do have debt....and the recession hit us hard (Even Ihad to sell my home..but I got divorced...so....thats not really the issue). We need men to be MEN and take their rightfu…

A Little Male Admiration: A Short Blog

The other day on Twitter...I posted the following :


Ain't nothing wrong w/wanting a lil male admiration? I don't wear cleavage out, stilettos, and flawless face for my girls!! Lmao! #realtalk


I think my feminist friends frowned at me for that and tried to give me the side eye! So- the F**K -what!!!! Yeah Yeah..I look good for me! I have great self esteem, yadda yadda! I feel good for me..but it's NICE when a brother noticed the effort you put in...........for THEM. Might not even be a specific brother..just the male species! Like a peacock..you gotta STRUT! If I wanted just CHICKS to admire me...I'd be a butch lesbian. PERIOD.

I dont wear these stillettos which hurt my toes for other chicks to admire! NOPE! I wear them so brothers can visiualize them in the air! (ok..and becuase I do have a shoe fetish that's unreal....but the latter is important!)

I dont give a hint of decolletage for women to admire! NOPE! I give a hint so men can see how smooth and supple my skin is…

Giving Up: Haikus

I give up trying
To make you fall in love with
..the idea of me

You dont even look
my way. Your eyes diverted.
Under Lock and Key

I put on a show
Hoping you will sit front row
The seat is empty

Rejection I feel
Never have I felt this pain
Love was never mine

Your cologne still in
my hair from when you hugged me.
Wipes away my tears

Fantasies of you
Better than reality
of indifference

How can I cry for
Someone who did not even
Know I existed

I've never wanted
a kiss as much as your kiss
Label me a fool

It is now over..
Constant Infatuation
That grew to nothing.

The joke is on me
Everyone is laughing
Yes...including you

Target Practice: A Short Blog

Im not a deer. I'm not one of those shooting range dummies....so why treat me like target practice???

I absolutely hate being "target practice" for a dude..... I'm not talking about anything dirty. I mean simply... "using me" to brush up on your skills. Every girl has experienced this. For example: Not sure if you are a good flirt? Or havent flirted in a while?? Well...flirt with me...warm me up...and leave me hanging? Want to see if you can still get numbers? Use a chick as target practice...get her number..and never call. Not sure if your sexual skills up to par? Try out everything sexually with the target practice girl....and then take your skills elsewhere. Want the "wife" experience? Get a target practice girl....have her doing all the "wifely" things...leave her high and dry..until you find one you really wanna settle down with. Dont end up being target practice...that's how you get hurt. Dont even allow yourself to get set up to BE …

NSFW: The Weekly Porn Review

This week's porn review is all about "anal"....... Our weekly review focuses on:

Alexander Devoe Presents Black Ass Addiction 5 Release date: November 09, 2009
Featuring: Vanessa Monet, Cassidy Clay, Stacie Lane, Evanni Solei, Alexa Cruz, Bunny Knight
As I watched the "trailer" on another site, I was intrigued. I'm not a fan of movies that focus on "anal". I generally just find it a bit barbaric side. I mean to each his own.... but I decided to keep an open mind and watch this AVN (Adult Video Network) award winning video. (BTW...I find it absolutely hilarious that they give out "Oscar" equivalents" for these movies...LOL). I can tell you the two things that I DID NOT like about this move. It featured Wesley Pipes. OMG! I hate that dude so much..him and his "skinny" schlong and all his talking. He's unattractive with a gold tooth..and looks like he just got released from prison. UGH! He just doesnt do it for the kid! His s…

Ask a Wo/Man QOTW

...is all about the POLE!

Question: Ladies..do you have a problem if your man wanted to buy a stripper pole for the house? OR wanted you to go to the strip club (watching this episode of The Marriage Ref...this argument is DUMB (wife is against it) . Not understanding why*smh*)


Cee (man)
why is she against it? I missed that episode...
7 hours ago ·

Mocha
http://www.nbc.com/the-marriage-ref/video/clips/the-panel-on-the-stripper-pole/1205229/
7 hours ago ·

AJ (man)
.......well since I am Sade and all..No I don't have a problem with it..
7 hours ago ·

Britt
My only issue with the pole is children and company. Other than that no problem. I go to the strip club, but not with my mate. I guess I would go if he asked, but I probably won't be the one suggesting it. *shrugs* I'm not against it though.
7 hours ago ·

Nell
the pole can be in our bedroom and i will be more than willing to take lessons :)
7 hours ago ·

Mocha

@Cee..she NEVER had a valid reason...other than she didn't think it was an id…

I'm Just Too Old...

..to try to impress a dude w/ the sexy lingerie at the front door. If I answer in sweats and a tee...be happy that the tee is clean.

...to care what you think about my hair..or my complexion....

...to not give head. If you are past the ages of 25...you need to learn how.

...to not know how to cook. Microwave chicks rarely ever get wifed.

..to be w/a dude who doesnt know how to eat the "love snack". Cmon son!! *throws up the sign*

...to stroke your ego. Just not gonna do it.

...to change myself. I define myself..for myself. YOU dont.

...to not live life to the fullest. So much to do..so little time

..to not floss as often as I should. *smh*. I wanna keep my teeth

...to get excited over celeb gossip. I just cant follow most of it anymore

...to have an Ipod full of rap music. Just not my thing. Give me some neo-soul any day of the week.

..to not be well-traveled. Gotta get out of the US especially more

...to deal with thugs. I need a man with a 401K and a dental plan

...to get with some of …

Begging: Haikus

Aching for you to
touch me right there and right here
over and over

If you are reading
This Blog..and This Post..Right now
This is about you

I've wanted you for
months on end now yet you
dont seem to want me

Please...desire me
I can make it worth your wild
Tasting new found love

If you are reading
This Blog...and This Post..Right Now
Know that: I want you

I would get on my
Knees and beg for your mercy
Lips touching man's soul

I am not one to
beg at the thought of a man
But you make me lust

If you are reading
This Blog..amd This Post...Right Now
See that: I need you

Carnal are my thoughts
Yet pure is my heart that is
Ready to recieve

I cant stop thinking
About my fingers tracing
Your caramel skin

You deserve a real
woman that can make you feel
Desire....on fire

So.....

If you are reading
This Blog...and this Post...Right Now..
(His Name)_____let's make love.

How to Approach Mocha

One of my guy friends told me I was “too picky” in my approach toward men. I am going to have to disagree. I’m simple. Therefore, here is a simple guide on how to (or how not to) approach Mocha- the quintessential Southern belle. Do these things..to avoid embarrassment:


Please be attractive. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder Well… I’m judge Joe Brown of beauty. Look, I’m not all that picky nor do I think I am the finest thing. If I am not feeling you, I am not feeling you. It’s nothing personal. I know what turns me on. Things like height, weight, complexion, even race are not all that important. But please don’t be Biggie Smalls..Please don’t be Woody Allen. In other words, be attractive to ME!


Do have some (for lack of better word) “swag”. I don’t mean Jay Z type swag on some pseudo-thug isht!. I’m thinking Billie Dee/Sidney Poitier/Billy Eckstein kind of swag. I like a balance of smooth and corny. Smart and Sophisticated with a great sense of humor. Please don’t be a com…

My Relationship with B.O.B.

This week I picked up the new Raheem Devaughn albumLove and War MasterPeace (Deluxe Edition). I had been eagerly awaiting the new album as Raheem is probably one of my fav neo-soul singers that is out and putting out quality work. Everyone had told me (who heard sneak previews of the album), that I needed to prepare myself. It was definitely a sexy album. I closed my eyes and with each song, it took me to a very sensual place. I thought to myself “Boy…I’d get in trouble with this one and end up pregnant and have to seen Mr. Devaughn an action for Child Support”. Raheem definitely painted some hot and steamy pictures. With each song, I was transported to some sexy dates in my head…..then I heard his song called “B.o.B”.

What’s a BOB? Well...all ladies know what a BoB is. Some of us have had some long standing relationships with BoB? It’s our “Battery Operated Boyfriend”. I’m going to let Raheem explain it a little better…..sang it, Raheem!






Although the subject matter was a bit comical, R…

NSFW: The Weekly Porn Review

We will be featuring a new blog series on SATSB…. All about that naughty little genre of film called porn. I’m sure more women watch porn that they would care to admit to. Or perhaps you are in the group of women that think porn is taboo or just a “guy” thing. Well...I’m here to tell you that it isn’t. I want to sort of break the stigma associated with porn and especially women watching porn. And suggest some porn that will make you think….. (or get you in the mood..your choice!)





Note: I do not endorse these porn studios, actors or websites personally or for any monetary gain. I am just merely suggesting something you may want to watch and entertain yourself.

The Porn Review: Black Squirt featuring Jada Fire and Havana Ginger
Director: LT
Studio: Elegant Ange l



I personally am VERY picky about the porn I watch. My friends laugh and say I am a "porn snob/racist". I like to see attractive people of color (Black/Latino/Brazilians) in porn and names I recognize. It’s all about big but…

Mixed-Signals Haiku

Girl Says : "I like you"
Boy Says: "I like you too....but"
Girl sits there confused

I am the hare and
You are the tortoise
Stillness in your shell

Not sure if I am
The Woman that you're seeking
Confused is my heart

You tell me you dont
Your actions say that you do
Lies your words tell me

My finger to your lips
I say "Hush..you think too much"
I come 90....you 10

At night I pray this:
"God..let him truly see me"
Whoever "HE" is

I don't wanna be
Forward or Presumptuous
Let me Kiss your Soul

You safegaurd your heart
With words that speak softly
To the depths of me

I can't watch you talk
Because I imagine lips
Your Lips...pressing mine

My heart breaks each time
You leave me with more questions
My love...than answers

I often wonder
Am I any man's "ideal"?
Maybe not .....ever

Ask a Man QOTW

..is about The Old Fashioned BJ

Warning:
Today's "Ask a Man" question is for the "grown ups". Someone wants to know "why is "oral stimulation" so important for dudes? More than food and money sometimes? And is that a dealbreaker in a relationship if a girl is bad and/or doesn't reciprocate?" Whoa... Fellas?


AJ (man)
*First*
February 22 at 9:13am ·

AJ
Like I am on a gossip blog..LOL...O.S.: Well when there is a itch that needs scratching and you(ladies) are not in the mood or whatever.. Putting your "mind" to it brings things in perspective. It's not necessarily a deal breaker..but if you want my "mind" on you, then you have to be able to put your "mind" on me.
February 22 at 9:16am ·

Mocha
A little "mind" over matter huh? LMAO!
February 22 at 9:19am ·

AJ
Yes Brains is a powerful tool and the mind is a terrible thing to waste
February 22 at 9:20am ·

AJ
On the serious tips I suggest that all women go get and rea…