March 31, 2010

Random Thoughts: Feeling/Not Feeling


Feeling
Not Feeling
  • All these black celebs getting reality TV shows
  • Sleeping in the wet spot
  • Thongs
  • Being on a Diet
  • celibacy
  • being child-less
  • Tyler Perry's coon-ismn
  • guys who just "wanna be friends" and "kick it".
  • Zane's Sex Chronicles
  • Orgasms

March 30, 2010

What are your summer boo requirements and how can one apply?

First off, the summer boo application process is rigorous. You must be attractive. Not cute. FINE. You must be willing to adhere to the terms of your short term contract. All boo-sim begins Memorial Day and ends Labor Day. There is no catching feelings or expectations There is no renewing your contract for the winter. For anything else...please hit me up specifically. Also, if you are not hired with me, perhaps you can find temp employment elsewhere. We do some boo placement every now and then for our trusted, valued clients! :)

Ask me anything

Prose: "You's a Bad B*tch"

You's a bad b*tch...

...that's what he said. And of course...he meant that in the most "sexually complimentary" of ways...




After almost 5 hrs of "goodbye" marathon sex after work yesterday...that's what he said to me. As I straddled him across my dining room chair....



"You's a bad b*tch.........."



And there were other pretty raunchy expletives said..........but..that one made me smile and sorta turned me on and got me worked up.



I literally can not look at my furniture the same in my little one bedroom apartment . I broke him down so bad..he had a cramp in his stomach. I felt it under those well-defined abs.....far too well-defined for a man his age...(guess because he's a runner too....) and said.."I need to work that out for you". He shouldn't have tried to lift me (I'm 148 lbs of solid mass...) and bounce me standing up...his arms wrapped around my  thick, mocha thighs....but...



"You's a bad b*tch............"



Of course, I'm not about to go into detail about anything I did....but he was marvelous. Much more than I remembered. Maybe it was the finality of it all that got him going. He was wearing Ralph Lauren Romance. I guessed it on the first try...he said.."You are good...." There was much hair pulling (on both our parts) and sweating....ass smacking...and freakiness. I can't even look at a popsicle the same way.......... And yes...this was all safe sex....He sat and looked at "it" for at least 5 minutes...describing the "beauty" if it. We drank red wine from the same glass....and he drank it from my navel.........and said....



"You's a bad b*tch.....for real baby...."



I mean...I asked him did he had to leave. He had other obligations. I'm sure he was on a "curfew". He gave me the screw face.......and said "Let me worry about that......." So for almsot 5 hrs..I had him to myself....He said.."I will miss you.....so much........" And for a faint second I saw a glimmer of "sincerity" in his eyes. I mean a faint second.........because after that it was back to "putting in work.........."



He took a shower.......and he sang to me. I was like........ He had joked and said he had a nice singing voice and I was like.."yeah right"...but then he sang.......and I was like.."WOW! You can really sing........" He said....."I'm a man of many talents.........some of which don't involve my..............."



"But you's a bad b*tch......Usted es tan sexy...Mami....mi corazon....Usted es una chica bastante marrĂ³n con una cara bonita........"



He said he'd miss my face.....and put his thumb across my lips...By this time my neatly applied make-up was damn near gone...This time this encounter didn't make me feel so empty. Because I guess...the end is the end...and I'm not upset about it. The "Essential Prince" mix I worked on at work yesterday...was playing via my laptop..and I was curled up on the sofa in my afghan ...hair soaked..body soaked...and satisfied......4 condom wrappers on the floor.....I don't think I've ever gone through that many........



As I ate my dinner (which subsequently...got cold...but it was alright)...He finished freshening up...threw on his shorts and Timbs....I looked at him through the living room as I could see the bathroom. He has a little more gray now..in his hair and beard.......I smiled. Far from the man in his 20's I met years ago... His birthday is next month...maybe I'll send a card. Then again.........Maybe I'll send an E-Card...much safer. He put on his Tag Huer watch...and he kissed my forehead...cheeks..and even my nose. I felt short. I had to tip-toe.....He smiled, went out into the rain...turned around and said...



"You's a bad b*tch...you know that right???"







And that was it. Good Bye. No More...........



The End



(for real this time.............)



 **Copyright: Quill and Urban  Ink Publishing, 2009. All Rights Reserved**

March 29, 2010

How many people have you slept with on your friends list???

I AM A LADY, sucka! I am not telling YOU THAT!*smh*.....seriously, dude? SERIOUSLY? You take a guess...you'd still be wrong!

Ask me anything

What You Can Learn From An Affair...

...from having an affair that is.

**Note: The following is a semi-factual account gathered from not only my personal experience, but the experiences of others**
I have been no saint in my life. I am 31 years old and I am bound to make some mistakes in my lifetime... Some BIG mistakes. One of which was dealing with a married man....

Let's just say I didn't know at the time dude was still married (of course he concealed it well)...but after it was exposed, it was TRULY too late to turn back the hands of time. We had gotten totally caught up. What was supposed to be one time happened repeatedly...

He was a friend. Truly a friend. We had known each other for years...lots of years. I looked at him as a big brother.  I wasnt even all that attracted to him. He wasnt the finest (although he had gorgeous features) man I knew. And although there was obvious chemistry, we never acted on it.  But as things slowly got worse for me at the time in my life, it made it easier to lean on him. And in a time of vulnerability (esp, for me), it happened.  Instantly, I felt a little quesy about it. Was this ok? Once I knew the truth about his status (truth of the matter is he never really was clear on if he was seperated..divorcing..divorced..or what...), I was angry and ashamed. I felt guilt ridden and hurt...I laid all my transgressions down on the altar call at church and asked God to forgive me. I had been cheated on. Lord knows what his wife could feel. She seemed like a nice woman...and although I didnt know her, I didnt want her on the receiving end of pain. I am just thankful things didn't escalate to a Tiger Woods type drama or even worse...Steve McNair. After a while, I had to stop talking to the guy. It's like...part of me felt smothered...I felt like he had to know each and every detail about me. And I felt like I needed to feed off of the compliments, advice, and sex he gave me. I realized I loved him..and that he indeed was a soulmate (I feel soulmates can come in all ways..not just romantc)...but I learned a few things in dealing with him briefly.

1) If you are gonna be a mistress, get something out of it: A bill paid, some money, something. All dude fed me was compliments and affections  and sex...and filled that voice in my life long ago.  As my mama says.."If you gonna be a whore..whore with a purpose".

2) I was able to seperate physical from emotional. Sex from Love. VERY easily. I could care for dude..but after a while..I didnt CARE what he thought or said. Just do your thing and be gone..cause that's what you are here for. I was able to turn of true interest and desire in a heartbeat. Detachment in these situations was the only way to go. We dont LOVE each other..and that's how it should be. In a good way, it made me colder and learn to be cold.

3) I love HOW the person made me feel (physically and emotionally) but I hated how I FELT afterwards.

4) Addiction is real. I was addicted to the compliments and how sexy he made me feel. I allowed him in a sacred space in whcih he really didnt deserve to be at all.  The sex wasn;t anything too compelling. It wasnt the stuff of romance novels or even a porn.  But I felt addicted to what came wth it..the "You are so beautiful" and the speaking to me in low, soft tones. That is what drew me to him...

5) You can and will compromise yourself and belief system for attention. Because I felt that void, I didnt mind bending my own person rules re: male/female interaction. The texts, the "sexting", the overtly sexual behavior. It wasn't really me. What was I doing? Becomes this wanton sex-kitten? For what purpose. And on top of that he was critical..he knit picked on what I wore..how I shaved my bikini line...who I went out with (as if he was jealous),..the shape of my legs and if I waxed them...It was all a bit too much.


Later after some time had passed and space was between us, I asked him what he learned in all this. He didnt express remorse or guilt.  Quite the contrary, he felt that things happened "organically" and he didn't quesiton it or felt a damn bit of guilt. He felt narcisstically responsible for "opening up my inner freak".  He said he leanred about :"connectednes and companionship". (I'm not even sure what that means). I think he feels that if he's taking care of home...he' not going to get "caught". Well....I really don't think it's true. I even asked why he was staying...and he said "She's my best friend". If someone is your best friend, I wouldnt think you would hurt them so badly, whether they knew or not.

I was never a "mistress" in the traditional sense. I wasn't kept well or taken care of, He didnt pay a single bill.. I was just the side-peice jump off...and a person who's ear he bent. I often wondered  if he slept with me one night..and slept with her the SAME night. Was I there to "get him ready" for his real job? I felt like absolute shit.

I think there is a lot that can be said about  this. I dont know if I'd do it again. But I will say it made me grow thick skin. It made me realize there are consequences to being used and being a user. Seen and Unseen. There were reprocusions to being in desperate need of affection and attention.  You still were left with half-a-man, half-a -companion, empty promises, empty truths,  and an empty bed at night.  It's a quick fix...it allows you go have that intimacy without getting too deepth and causes a cavern of distance and detachment.  You aren't invested emotionally although you are an active and willing participant. It's safe-because they dont love you they won't hurt you.

I was sure I couldnt continue on with this long term. It was a life lesson that I vowed to never do again no matter how well it satiated the pain.  It served a purpose. I'm sure some of you will judge...some of you will even ask "Is this true??"














I'll let you wonder.....

March 28, 2010

What's your birthday wish?

If I tell you..it won't come true. But...Let's just say...when I get it...it'll be so worthwhile! :)

Ask me anything

I am Officially


...SEXY AFTER 30!!!
(Also..those are NOT my boobs!!)


I'm 31 Today, Lovelies!!

*wink*



..
What are my plans? Hmm...probably dinner w/ my family. It's been a rather chill B-Day weekend. Not as hype as 30 was....Thanking GOD  has blessed (and better for it) me to see this year.


See you all on the other side of 30, Loves!!

*smooches*

March 27, 2010

Ask a Woman

Ladies: If a man was sweet, kind everything you wanted..we talking marriage material......but his winky-dinky was teeny-tiny...would you stay? Even after the "techniques" aint working?



Vicky
I can't say that I could. Because I'd always think of it just that way... and it would lead me to stray. Sexual compatibility is really key in my relationships. And can you imagine how much worse you'd feel if you found out that winky dink man cheated? This is where those news stories with women running their men over with hummers begins. Because she compromised something important... I'm going on a tangent. The answer is NO.


Mocha
LMAO @ your tangemt. It was much appreciate.


Yarny That was a good tangent, Vicky. Lol



Well, if "techniques" aren't working and I'm like a rolling stone (can't get NO satisfaction), then the only marriage I could have with that man is an open marriage. If he wasn't open to that option, then I couldn't commit to a lifetime of enduring sub-mediocre sex and BOBs. (So blessed that isn't my situation, and that's all I'ma say.)



Mocha. LMAO@ Yarny..why you bragging? (LMAO! I am kidding). I mean but he has it ALL..so kind, nice, etc..just his winky aint the bidness. Would you suggest surgery? A pump?

Vicky them things don't work. LMAO. Now when we said "techniques" ... we mean... jALL the techniques... including the ones that don't involve winky? *it's a family show. trying to keep it clean.* I'm asking... Is this person a Cunning Linguist at least?


Mocha @Vicky...Im playing devils advocate (cause this isnt a totally TRUE scenario...LOL). but what if he was so-so on the "speaking to the animals". LMAO!???

Vicky *writing a nice Dear John note to fictitious guy* It's been really nice knowing you...

 Nikki *dead* at cunning linguist. :) good question twin. :)

Yarny
 Surgery would only work if it was his idea or a woman could work it so it seems like surgery was his idea. If he demands commitment to just he and I, then I'd have to demand facing reality and recognizing the need for more learning in the bedroom. Probably some kama sutra books, but not the videos from his homeboys. Honestly, if he truly has it all, then he has the ability and honesty to admit he must step his game up.

  DEAD and gone to glory at "speaking to the animals"

 Mocha @yarny..I'm just saying!! *shrug*. LMAO!. And I guess you are right..you gotta be convinving.



LMAO@ Vicky..she's like"PEACEEEEE" like Martin Lawrence! LMAO!

 Dee
No. period.com/theend

 Nikki  i mean, is he open to learning? can he take direction well?

· Nell. if there is chemistry there and we are really feeling each other... the size of the dingle wont matter. Its the connection that matters IMO

Mocha. @Nikki..why you asking me like this is allllll about me? LMAO!

. Why cant it be a question?? LMAO!

 Dee I'm willing to "teach" or "lead in the direction of" the things EYE like. But teaching the BASICS??? REALLY??? I'm sorry baby, I'm not gon be able to do it!

 Mocha But he can't help his winky! LMAO!

 Becca Ok, so how small is small? Are we talking "baby" small? or are we talking 5'ish?

 Mocha @Becca...let's say it's like a 3 year old kid's thumb.....(LOL)

· Becca Then I would do the " it's not you, it's me..I just have soooo much on my plate right now, and it's bad timing..so I really hope we can be GREAT friends" talk...

 Mocha *Rick James voice* Cooold Bloooded! LMAO!

· Becca I can deal with small, but not that dang small!

 Mira
 Hell no(been there done that not doing it again). In my best Luda voice "some say the sex is overrated but they just aint doing it right". I'll never say it again.

· Mocha  LOL...@Mira...preach on it chick.

Ru But if he was devoted, kind, super intelligent, faithful, loving, you had the greatest time with him etc etc etc...then, a physical flaw would be reason enough to dump him?! Then the next question is if your partner got Christopher Reeve-d, would you still stay with him?



· Mocha. @Ru..is that what we calling geting paralyuzed "Superman"-ed? LMAO!

 · Ru
 naw man, superman was the man of steel...hence it's "christopher reeves"...we are all vulnerable and could lose anything at anytime :-(

March 26, 2010

If there was no risks, would you consider plastic surgery? And where?

YES..in a heartbeat Uhmm....I dont wanna say but I'd fix it ALL!

What do you feel "most sexy" in?

Dresses...stillettos...fishnets..."his" t-shirt..."his" dress shirt....

Ask me anything

How many tattoos do you have? Of what? And can I see them? :)

I have 3 tattoos: my name...a dove carrying a Z...and tribal w/ an Aries zodiac in the middle..and you can ONLY see them if you ask nicely........:) *smh*

Ask me anything

What has been the most embarrassing thing to happen to you this year so far?

Yesterday The U-verse installation dude saw something he really shouldnt have in my BEDROOM and my living room...*smh* Then said "Uhm...next time someone comes to work on your TV..you might wanna move that.." (LOL)

Ask me anything

March 25, 2010

What do you love about black men?

Whew! What DONT I love woulda have been a better (and shorter answer given) question. All the shades of brown skin..w/ pretty white teeth set against it. Brothers just have this "rhythm" about their lives and their walk (No I'm not gonna use swag). There is just so much diversity: locs, bald, light/dark, thin/thick, short/tall...Brothers just have it all. I swear fo God..if a fine brother walks past me..I say a silent prayer and shed tears (LOL)> *sigh*..unconditional love...the shared "experiences". Lord...do you want me to write a thesis?

Ask me anything

A Big D*ck.. Big Heartache


I remember dating a guy briefly when I was in college. We had talked for quite some time and finally decided to go out. He was gorgeous. Smart, kind...very much a gentleman and had a great family. He was into many philanthropic and service organizations. We had a great first date... and subsequent dates. 

Finally, when it was time to "do the damn thing"..I was so hype. Surely this thing was gonna be OFF THE CHARTS! We had so much chemistry. Brotherman dropped them drawers and.........


.<>

His penis was tiny. I mean TINY!  I had to look at it twice. Maybe he wasn't "ready". Maybe he was nervous. Was it drafty in here? Nope...none of those things. I couldn't believe it. It was like the thumb of a 3 year old. No gerth. No length. So do you know what I did??

I faked "fragile".  Meaning I was like.."Oh hun..I dont wanna rush this! Maybe we need to take it slow!!". He, being a gentleman, obliged. And that was the end of that. I sorta brushed him off and played him to the left after that. I was young. I couldnt look past the penis..I was like..does he need a pump. Do I need to learn sometechinques? I wasn't willing to compromise.  And the young man and I just became friends.

Now that I am divorced and single, I keep thinking about that time in college when I played a very sweet guy with a tiny wanker to the left.  I'm not even sure if dude remembers me or that incident Looking back, . I mean what has a big dick gotten me? A bunch of pain (no pun intended) and heartache. All that motion in the ocean just left me empty inside..

Does size truly matter?

I've been lucky (in that respect) that I've never encountered another man THAT small. I have seen small..but it was still something to work with. Can you be in love with a man who's size would NOT even be a drop in the bucket? You know for a fact no matter what you can do or positions you can try,  he just may not be able to measure up (Boy..the puns keep rolling in this joint...LOL). Either way, do you throw the baby out with the bathwater? Do you forget about the shortcomings (lol) and press on because he's awesome?

I posed the quesiton to my girls and it was split. The die hard romantics versus the Die hard freaks. Some in both groups are married. The romantics said you could "learn to love and adjust"..the freaks said "you need a cruise ship..not a tug boat".  Where is the middle ground? Do you sacrifice  emotional happiness for sexual happiness? or vice-versa?

I spoke to the guy earlier this year. Just to catch up. He's just as sweet, kind, and yes...still single (hmmmm..wonder if it's the penis thing...but anyway....). It made me wonder.

Could a big d*ck just be a bunch of big heartache???

March 23, 2010

Forbidden: The Haikus

You Belong To Her
When she kisses you tonight…
Will she taste my love?

You targeted me
I was vulnerable then
Calculating lust…

I can separate
The feelings I feel for you
Never love…just lust

I despise you so
Yet I can never resist
You begging for it

Positions I play
I know my place in your life
Just to fulfill you

“You a bad b*tch, babe”
You say as you go slowly
And burst into heat

Midnight rendezvous
Secret, hidden agenda
Delight our palette

I don’t want to hear
About your wife or your job
Your job is to f*ck

The old me would have
Felt guilty for this affair
The new me cares less

I come when you call
Yet your calling makes me cum
I am defenseless

You aren’t sexy
You aren’t even nice to me
You arekryptonite

Sex is explosive
We sweat out all our problems
Reality…paused

Some say what we do
Is scandalous and sinful.
I just say….it’s fun

I promise myself
Each time will be the last time
You know my weakness

After we finish
We go our separate ways
Until the next time

March 22, 2010

#DearFutureHusband (a Twitter Trending Topic)

#DearFutureHusband

...I promise to NEVER wear underwear with my skirts. :)














...that is all! :)

Is your realness a simple result of your own personal life's experience? Or, were you born this way?

It's a mix of both: Def get the realness from my mother. And I def feel I am too old to be anything BUT real. If you woulda asked me that at 21...I woulda said otherwise. When you know better..you do better.

Ask me anything

March 21, 2010

If you were paid VERY well to do an extremely tasteful, nude photo shoot in Playboy, would you do it?

Why? You offering??? (LMAO)

Ask me anything

Seasonal Dating: A "Summer" Boo


Mocha (that's me...) has started accepting application for "Summer Boo". It's a temp job..available from June-September. After Labor Day, just like white pants, you will be retired.I must say.. The job has LIMITED benefits..and no guarantee of temp-to-perm status. In this "boo saturated" economy.. That's the risk you take.

I got the idea from my friend Maria (same chick who a while ago gave me the ideas and guide on how to date a white guy). She calls it "seasonal dating".




In seasonal dating there is a clear drawn rule. We just kicking it for the summer. That's it. We aint courting. We aint dating. I dont even like you that much to take you around my mama or friends. I can pay for my own isht cause I dont need you to get the wrong ideas. There MAY or MAY BE sex...if I feel the mood hit me. Aint no catching feelings. Play your position.




And once the wind starts getting cold.....at the final holiday of the season (Labor Day).we part ways...




Also..there is no renewal of your "Summer Boo" contract for the next year. Nope....you get one shot only.


Maria advised me that I should start my scouting in May. Once it gets warmer and the time to show a lil skin begins..that's the time to go "on the search" for new recruits and prospective candidates. Go to the usual spots: cofffee shops, book stores, etc. Once you narrow down...if you can juggle a rotation of two (a max of 3) fine. But one "summer boo" is usually pretty sufficient.


Also, summer boos need to be in a 5 mile radius. I dont think I wanna "travel" and "road trip" for some summer boo action. Not cool...



This is going to be my first summer employing Maria's "Summer Boo" tips and tactics. I'm def not trying to find romance, love or anything (not anymore). So I'm not going to make the foolish mistake of trying to turn "seasonal boos" into relationships (I did that with the Green-eyed cheap bastard..and so many others). Just gotta take it for what it is...a "summer fling".


So once the weather gets warmer...I'm going to break out the skirts, exfoliated the skin, brazilian wax, use some bronzer, and go "crusing for boos".


If you want to put in an application, let me know! :)

March 20, 2010

Do you believe in love at first sight?

No..but I believe in LIES at first sight....

Ask me anything

Drunk Blogging


Warning: This blog is written under the influence of 110 proof Tequila...LOTS of Tequila





You ever see a dude..or know a dude..and EVERYTHING about him repulses you...he's a downright asshole..yet at the same tiem you wanna just f**K the SH*T outta him! LMAO! I got a particular friend..I'm instantly repulsed and pissed at him cause he says and does dumb shit....but something about him makes me wanna throw him up against the wall..kiss him yet grab his balls at the same time! LMAO! I got problems.

Truthfully...I just want someone I can go on vacations with. *sigh* But oh well.........



If I was a lebsian (which I am not)..I would NOT pick a butch chick! I mean isnt the point of being a Lesbian to be with a hot chick? That look like chicks?? I respect everyone's right to love who they want..but cmon! If i look like Nia long..why on earth would I screw a CHICK..who looks like Ice Cube??? Da fuck!!



I'm really proud of my boobs! They are awesome! Thanks mom!!

I'm too lazy to buy lingerie anymore. Like I have no idea when the last time I bought lingerie anymore. T-shirts and boy shorts it is!!

I refuse to own a cat. That's just too cliche'!

Been thinking about leaving ATL and heading to maybe DC or NYC...who knows. I applied for a few jobs. Guess I gotta change the name of the blog then! LMAO!

Men who watch soap operas....get the side eye from me. What kinda freak are you???

The guy I was digging...caramel skin..gorgeous eyes..*sigh*.,..the things I wanted to do to him! I dont get why he wasn't feeling me. I mean what's WRONG with him??? Does he know the GEM he squandered? *smh*

I really think I'm a guy's "perfect girl"...I like Japanese Anime...goofy gross out comedies...Football..I cook..I appreciate the art of "brain games"....I quote Dave Chapelle and Boondocks episodes..I drink beer and LOVE tequila ...and I like action flicks...and bunch of other crap....I mean what's not to like! What more do I have to do? Give head in a handstand?? Dudes suck! Which brings me to a point.

I give up on love! There. I said it! i mean it. I mean wtf is the point of trying to love MEN..this species of humans..who are absolutely incapable of love and emotions? Who think marriage is a death sentence??

DOWN WITH LOVE, I SAY!

This isnt to say I am incapable of love. Why love a species (men) that doesnt want to love you back? Who are incapable of faithfulness? Who look at you as just a sexual receptical for sperm...a chef..and an ego stroker?
Why waste time loving something that just ends up hurting you? Every chick on here has a dude..or HAD a dude that was a nutjob! Some of em are cheating on you as we speak!

I will probably not get married again. NOT because I dont want to or believe in the institution....but because men would rather be in a thunderstorm with a metal rod than get married.

I have better dates in my head than real life. Furthermore..what the hell is the point of having a phone if NO ONE calls it?

Why crush and pine for some dude...who isnt thinking about you? Not making a move? etc? I mean really..am I ANYONE"s type??? *smh*

Why hope, even a little, that people will change?

I will not flirt anymore. For what??? It'll either just get me nothing...or pointless sex that I'm going on almost 7 months of not having..which will lead to more nothing.

Therefore..Love Grinch is what I am. I just cant believe in something and be a hopeless romantic anymore. Such wasted energy. I have better love in the songs I hear.

BOLLOCKS AND RUBBISH!



Aiight. Tequila drunkeness is over!!!

March 19, 2010

A $5 Fallacy: A Short Blog


My friend sent me an article the other day about the median net worth of black women in their liftime. The study said black women are worth $5. Yep $5....that's it.

Here is the article from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazzette:

You know what I say to this BULLSHIGGDY:

Women wouldnt be worth $5 fucking dollars if we actually gave a damn about marriage, wealth building and overal community expansion of weath as a RACE. Stopped COHABITATING and got married. Valued education of our MEN and not measuring manhood in terms of bravado. Marriage can actually help your income (which is how the rich stay and KEEP it rich). Stop giving all your money to the daggone church and being married to Jesus (classic response by manless sistas). Stop going in debt over designer frocks and the hair dresser (none of THESE Mocha does.....) We do have debt....and the recession hit us hard (Even Ihad to sell my home..but I got divorced...so....thats not really the issue). We need men to be MEN and take their rightful place in households....women to grow a PAIR...and say NO sometimes.

Im SICK OF ALL THESE FUCKING ARTICLES demeaning and cutting black women so low. Not only will black women be childless, unmarried, and full of every disease imaginable.....we are WORTHLESS which is essentially what this article is saying. $5??? *smh*

I say to that FUCK YOU MAINSTREAM!! *middle finger* Im not taking the red OR the blue pill and failling in the Matrix! *smh*. If you think this crap just so happens to be a coincidence...you are indeed a fool.

*smh*

March 18, 2010

A Little Male Admiration: A Short Blog

The other day on Twitter...I posted the following :


Ain't nothing wrong w/wanting a lil male admiration? I don't wear cleavage out, stilettos, and flawless face for my girls!! Lmao! #realtalk


I think my feminist friends frowned at me for that and tried to give me the side eye! So- the F**K -what!!!! Yeah Yeah..I look good for me! I have great self esteem, yadda yadda! I feel good for me..but it's NICE when a brother noticed the effort you put in...........for THEM. Might not even be a specific brother..just the male species! Like a peacock..you gotta STRUT! If I wanted just CHICKS to admire me...I'd be a butch lesbian. PERIOD.

I dont wear these stillettos which hurt my toes for other chicks to admire! NOPE! I wear them so brothers can visiualize them in the air! (ok..and becuase I do have a shoe fetish that's unreal....but the latter is important!)

I dont give a hint of decolletage for women to admire! NOPE! I give a hint so men can see how smooth and supple my skin is and that you can see I exfoliate 3 times a week for my mocha glow!

I dont boost my boobs up..or go to Fredericks and buy TONS of lingerie for my damn self (well..sometimes I just need new bras)..but it's for MEN...so they can admire..then TAKE EM OFF!

I wear makeup..because I like the artistry..AND I'm accentuating my best features....FOR DUDES! DUH! Look at my face, sucka! Yeah yeah..they all say they like you "natural". Aint no one a natural beauty...dont believe the hyper!

We spend hours in the beauty shop to get the hair whipped...ONLY to have a dude mess it up and sweat it out that same night!

Fishnets..............definitely for men (AND added plus: they make my legs look bigger! LOL)

THONGS are for MEN! PERIOD! Cheekie boy shorts (my personal fav)..ARE FOR DUDES! Crotchless panties..CMON SON!! Who are we fooling, ladies!!


..and if something is wrong with that..you can take away my memberships to NCNW, NOW, and a bunch of other orgs. It feels awesome to have your girls think you are a beauty....but It doesnt make me any less of a woman...to want a man to actually notice me and give a damn!

Fin

March 17, 2010

Giving Up: Haikus

I give up trying
To make you fall in love with
..the idea of me

You dont even look
my way. Your eyes diverted.
Under Lock and Key

I put on a show
Hoping you will sit front row
The seat is empty

Rejection I feel
Never have I felt this pain
Love was never mine

Your cologne still in
my hair from when you hugged me.
Wipes away my tears

Fantasies of you
Better than reality
of indifference

How can I cry for
Someone who did not even
Know I existed

I've never wanted
a kiss as much as your kiss
Label me a fool

It is now over..
Constant Infatuation
That grew to nothing.

The joke is on me
Everyone is laughing
Yes...including you

March 16, 2010

Target Practice: A Short Blog


Im not a deer. I'm not one of those shooting range dummies....so why treat me like target practice???


I absolutely hate being "target practice" for a dude..... I'm not talking about anything dirty. I mean simply... "using me" to brush up on your skills. Every girl has experienced this. For example:
Not sure if you are a good flirt? Or havent flirted in a while?? Well...flirt with me...warm me up...and leave me hanging?
Want to see if you can still get numbers? Use a chick as target practice...get her number..and never call.
Not sure if your sexual skills up to par? Try out everything sexually with the target practice girl....and then take your skills elsewhere.
Want the "wife" experience? Get a target practice girl....have her doing all the "wifely" things...leave her high and dry..until you find one you really wanna settle down with.
Dont end up being target practice...that's how you get hurt. Dont even allow yourself to get set up to BE target practice. Nip it in the bud once you see any of that.

March 14, 2010

NSFW: The Weekly Porn Review

This week's porn review is all about "anal"....... Our weekly review focuses on:

Alexander Devoe Presents Black Ass Addiction 5
Release date: November 09, 2009
Featuring: Vanessa Monet, Cassidy Clay, Stacie Lane, Evanni Solei, Alexa Cruz, Bunny Knight

As I watched the "trailer" on another site, I was intrigued. I'm not a fan of movies that focus on "anal". I generally just find it a bit barbaric side. I mean to each his own.... but I decided to keep an open mind and watch this AVN (Adult Video Network) award winning video. (BTW...I find it absolutely hilarious that they give out "Oscar" equivalents" for these movies...LOL).
I can tell you the two things that I DID NOT like about this move. It featured Wesley Pipes. OMG! I hate that dude so much..him and his "skinny" schlong and all his talking. He's unattractive with a gold tooth..and looks like he just got released from prison. UGH! He just doesnt do it for the kid! His scenes made me want to fast forward and/or hurl. My personal favs for men are Byron Pumper and Mr. Marcus (who can do no wrong IMHO). Him and his talking! In real life..I absolutely ABHOR sh*t talkers..so what makes you think I wanna hear all that talking in a movie?? Negative! *thumbs down*
For the most part, I found it a bit excruciating to watch some of the scenes. One guy had a chick's mouth stretch open with his hands while he was receiving oral sex. I just cringed! I thought the women were very attractive (most I never was familiar with..but men would enjoy thius) and most of the men were (except Wesley of course). There was a 3 some scene that was interesting but the idea of double-penetration...I had to fast forward through it. Most of it wasn't too bad....
I guess my comfort level wasnt there to watch it. I try to keep a safe, open sexual mind...but some things can be a bit hard for me to watch...so I can't say I would watch it again.
I give this video 3 out of 5 stars.

March 12, 2010

Ask a Wo/Man QOTW

...is all about the POLE!

Question: Ladies..do you have a problem if your man wanted to buy a stripper pole for the house? OR wanted you to go to the strip club (watching this episode of The Marriage Ref...this argument is DUMB (wife is against it) . Not understanding why*smh*)


Cee (man)
why is she against it? I missed that episode...
7 hours ago ·

Mocha
http://www.nbc.com/the-marriage-ref/video/clips/the-panel-on-the-stripper-pole/1205229/
7 hours ago ·

AJ (man)
.......well since I am Sade and all..No I don't have a problem with it..
7 hours ago ·

Britt
My only issue with the pole is children and company. Other than that no problem. I go to the strip club, but not with my mate. I guess I would go if he asked, but I probably won't be the one suggesting it. *shrugs* I'm not against it though.
7 hours ago ·

Nell
the pole can be in our bedroom and i will be more than willing to take lessons :)
7 hours ago ·

Mocha

@Cee..she NEVER had a valid reason...other than she didn't think it was an idea of a romantic evening. *shrug* WOuldnt you rather he spend his cash at HOME? Let him throw stacks at you!! AND you get to keep it! :) LMAO!
7 hours ago ·

Mocha

@Britt..you can take the pole down. They have those..you dont need to bold it to the ceiling. LMAO!
7 hours ago ·

AJ
I have no issue with children or company seeing the pole..Company..No you know how we do..We happy..you should get it in your life.. Children..Tell em up front.. mommy and daddy like to have "mommy/Daddy" fun.. If you have questions.. we'll talk
7 hours ago ·

AJ
@Mocha: He married you..You already got at least half if not most of all of the money. Naw I ain't tippin..I'll make you a sammich or something
6 hours ago ·

Cee
she's probably not willing to admit she ain't comfortable enough with herself to do it for him... she probably thinks it's degrading for her to do that for him...
6 hours ago ·

Mocha

AND the husband bought her TONS of thongs that she REFUSED to wear. I mean thongs are NOT comfortable..but that's not the point. She really wasnt willing to compromise. *smh*
6 hours ago ·

KS (woman)

poles are fine.. bolted or not... not sure I'd tell my kids what it was for... as for her being against it... does he do romantic things? if he don't he need to.. maybe she'd be more willing.
6 hours ago ·

Mocha

@AJ..i mean for the purpose of the NIGHT...you can throw some stacks....(and begrugingly give it back) @Cee..she was sorta a larger woman..so perhaps she was not confident. I dunno WHO she been hanging with but the plus size sistas i know woulda twrirled on a pole in a heartbeat! LMAO!
6 hours ago ·

Britt

@Mocha, I've been to a class or two. I need the bolted to the ceiling type. I don't need any accidents when I break out my bag of tricks.
6 hours ago ·

Tatianna Michelle M.
@Britt.....yeah sometimes I wonder can it hold certain weight amounts wi/out it being bolted down. LMAO!
6 hours ago ·

Dee Dee (woman)
Shoot, I'm looking for a class up here and I ain't been a size 2 since I was 8 years old. But yeah, maybe her confidence isn't up just yet. She can work it out but maybe her husband has to push her a bit too. If she twirls that pole well, he won't have to take the cash out of the house.
6 hours ago ·

Kelly (woman)
I wouldnt want to go to a strip club, but thats just me. We dont take men to the beauty salon or to go buy feminne products. Why do we have to sacrifice our beliefs and ideals of being comfortable to please a man?
6 hours ago ·

Cee
there's too fine a line here. on the husband's side, he wants to spice things up. he's bought outfits for her to wear for him. he's asking for her to do something for him that will intensify his desire. doesn't sound to me like this is something where he wants to look at her in a degrading or condescending way. appreciating your wife's body and wanting her to display her physical form to you in an enticing and seductive way - I, as a man and a husband, can appreciate that.on the wife's side... she may be uncomfortable with her body, she may have a preconceived notion about having a stripper/'exercise' pole in their bedroom, she may be apprehensive about not getting the collapsible version and having their kids ask about it if they see it, and she may be set in her ways. we, as men, need to respect our wives and their wishes too. if she doesn't want to do it, I would try to get to the bottom of why and try to convince her why I wanted it, to make her more comfortable with giving into my desires or just accepting that this is something I would have to let go.... See Morethere are many women out there who won't compromise on the stripper pole. there are many women out there who won't compromise on dancing for their men. there are even women out there who won't compromise on the thong. we men have to choose our battles... let our wives know that our desires are meant to enhance our romantic lives with our partners and not meant to fulfill some chauvinistic or misogynistic fantasies we harbored before entering this relationship.
6 hours ago ·

Mocha

@Kelly..It's not about comfort. It's give and take....*shrug* as Cee said..he had a fantasy/desire he wanted fufilled. Either let your wife do it..and dont be made when he goes out the house and let another broad do what YOU wont. @Carter..yeah I felt there was something MUCH deeper there that she wasnt addressing...She just was like NO NO NO! *scratching head*
6 hours ago ·

Britt
@Cee *APPLAUSE*
6 hours ago ·

Kelly

Is she fulfilling her fantasies?
6 hours ago ·

Mocha
@Kelly..that wasnt addressed so we aren't sure. Perhaps the husband needs to be more romantic to "butter her up" to do this stuff.
6 hours ago ·

Tiff

I didn't want to watch that show because that chick annoyed me in the commercials...seriously, I really don't get why so many men marry prudes *shrug*She may be beautiful or have wonderful conversation or be classy or can cook her tail off but when it comes to marriage - it's about the total package. That's the ONE person you're supposed to be ... See Morebuck wild with for the rest of your life - if you can't get loose sexually with the person you're SUPPOSED to be free with...geesh...it seems like so many chicks use up all their freakiness before they ever get a ring and then want to act brand new once they're a wife...And yes...I had a pole in our bedroom and no, I didn't take it down when company came over and yes, even my granny thought it was cool! I'm planning on being married to this man for the rest of our lives, we are gonna enjoy it to the fullest!
6 hours ago ·

Heather B
I am a beliver of keeping the relationship spicy and exciting. What h won't get at home, he will get elsewhere.
6 hours ago ·

Mocha
@Cee..can I just say..I SO appreciate your posts and POV. Gives us hope! I love you brother! And Dee is very lucky! :) *claps*
6 hours ago ·

Mocha

@Tiff..my she-ro! LMAO! I wanna be you in my next life (LMAO!)
6 hours ago ·

Dee Dee

@Cee: YOU should have a column AND a book.@Tiff: If a FedEx truck pulls up to your house, it's an ATM. You're welcome. (c)Hayisha.If I even *thought* of presenting myself as a cold fish to my HUSBAND...Shooo...
6 hours ago ·

Shelly
EXACTLY WHAT TIFF SAID!!!
6 hours ago ·

Cee

I hear a lot of folks go on and on about being wide open for their spouses & partners, and it's a beautiful thing to hear. But, sometimes there are folks who have partners who are a little closed-minded to requests & desires of the other partner. We, as partners, need to be willing to explore the reasoning why, and hear our partner out, so that he/she knows we're making an effort to get to know them better. Most folks open up when their partners show a genuine desire to understand them better on as deep a level as possible.Look at it this way - a man could ask his wife to wear a thong for him. She might say "no" flat out. Why the "no"? And does he brow-beat her about it, does he back off and try again another time hoping to wear her down, or does he try to find out why and maybe compromise with her? She might feel that the fabric running up the crack of her butt is EXTREMELY physically uncomfortable. She may have a stigma about wearing certain kind of underwear and she may associate them with a certain notion about how her husband views women or how men in general view women. But if he lets her know that he loves her, loves the shape of her body, he's only asking for it to spice up their sex life... she'll better understand him. Then, he has to try to understand her and make her comfortable.On the other hand - maybe the same guy's wife just might have a fetish and might want to see her man in a thong. Now, how many men do you know that would immediately associate wearing a thong with being undercover-gay? *shrug* But on the same token... the woman needs to let him know that she loves his body... this is something she likes... it's to enhance their sex life... and find out about his preconceived notions about a man wearing a thong and try to understand him better and comfort him.... See MoreWe should all be willing to be completely open with our spouses, but we should also make a REAL attempt to understand our spouses and increase our closeness with them.@Diahl - I'm actually considering starting a blog... and if it goes well, I may even write a book. But trust me, I'm no expert... *L* I just have my own outlook on things. My wife has often said I should do a Blog & a book too. Think I just might do it.
6 hours ago ·

Mocha
*sheds a tear*..Carter..you up here PREACHIN!! Yeah..get on that book/blog ASAP!!! I'll help you!! They dont make em like you no mo, dude!! *claps* BRAVO!
5 hours ago ·

Meka
WTH?! Give me a pole, so I can do some flips for my man. I have one request, it has to be bolted. I don't want to have an accident like the chick did in the youtube video. LMAO!!!
5 hours ago ·

Trice

taye and i went to a strip club once...he didnt want a lap dance and he didnt tip...he said there's only one woman he gives money to...*blushing* i dont hava problem wit dat!! so that was our first and last time...
2 hours ago ·

March 10, 2010

I'm Just Too Old...

..to try to impress a dude w/ the sexy lingerie at the front door. If I answer in sweats and a tee...be happy that the tee is clean.

...to care what you think about my hair..or my complexion....

...to not give head. If you are past the ages of 25...you need to learn how.

...to not know how to cook. Microwave chicks rarely ever get wifed.

..to be w/a dude who doesnt know how to eat the "love snack". Cmon son!! *throws up the sign*

...to stroke your ego. Just not gonna do it.

...to change myself. I define myself..for myself. YOU dont.

...to not live life to the fullest. So much to do..so little time

..to not floss as often as I should. *smh*. I wanna keep my teeth

...to get excited over celeb gossip. I just cant follow most of it anymore

...to have an Ipod full of rap music. Just not my thing. Give me some neo-soul any day of the week.

..to not be well-traveled. Gotta get out of the US especially more

...to deal with thugs. I need a man with a 401K and a dental plan

...to get with some of these fashion styles.

....to stay up past 10 pm on a week night. I need my sleep. When you get older..sleep is important

...to worry about the pooch in my belly or my boobs sagging. It's gonna happen (but these crows feet...not cool! *smh*)

...to care about being "well-liked". I'm too damn old to try and please people.

...to watch a LOT of reality tv.

...AND attractive to be single (LMAO...well I am!)

...to spend all day on social networking sites. I dont do that.

...to care about weddings and all the CRAP that goes into. Not going to care next time around...

..not to explore "all options" in dating: races, creeds, colors.....let the games begin!

...to have this crush that I have. *sigh*...it's manifested itself in ways that I couldnt imagine. I've never wanted someone so badly..only to have them NOT want me back (at least I dont THINK they do).

...to NOT have a side hustle. In this economy..I REALLY need one.

...to take myself seriously.






..and neither should you :)

March 9, 2010

Begging: Haikus

Aching for you to
touch me right there and right here
over and over

If you are reading
This Blog..and This Post..Right now
This is about you

I've wanted you for
months on end now yet you
dont seem to want me

Please...desire me
I can make it worth your wild
Tasting new found love

If you are reading
This Blog...and This Post..Right Now
Know that: I want you

I would get on my
Knees and beg for your mercy
Lips touching man's soul

I am not one to
beg at the thought of a man
But you make me lust

If you are reading
This Blog..amd This Post...Right Now
See that: I need you

Carnal are my thoughts
Yet pure is my heart that is
Ready to recieve

I cant stop thinking
About my fingers tracing
Your caramel skin

You deserve a real
woman that can make you feel
Desire....on fire

So.....

If you are reading
This Blog...and this Post...Right Now..
(His Name)_____let's make love.

March 7, 2010

How to Approach Mocha



One of my guy friends told me I was “too picky” in my approach toward men. I am going to have to disagree. I’m simple. Therefore, here is a simple guide on how to (or how not to) approach Mocha- the quintessential Southern belle. Do these things..to avoid embarrassment:


Please be attractive. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder Well… I’m judge Joe Brown of beauty. Look, I’m not all that picky nor do I think I am the finest thing. If I am not feeling you, I am not feeling you. It’s nothing personal. I know what turns me on. Things like height, weight, complexion, even race are not all that important. But please don’t be Biggie Smalls..Please don’t be Woody Allen. In other words, be attractive to ME!


Do have some (for lack of better word) “swag”. I don’t mean Jay Z type swag on some pseudo-thug isht!. I’m thinking Billie Dee/Sidney Poitier/Billy Eckstein kind of swag. I like a balance of smooth and corny. Smart and Sophisticated with a great sense of humor. Please don’t be a complete cornball. This is not Hitch. This is not a romantic comedy. This is real life. That type of awkwardness only works in movies. Look great...feel great.

Don’t touch me. I know I’m so dead sexy you can’t resist putting your hands on me. But first impressions are must. Don’t touch me. I don’t mean an introductory hug or a handshake or even a small peck on the cheek (quite French). But these are only permissible if the attraction is mutual and palbable. Above all these things, DON’T TOUCH ME. Don’t touch my locs especially. Don’t grab my arm. Don’t try and pull me close. Conversely…

Don’t give me the church hug. This is ONLY applicable if you are HOT and there is attraction. (For the record..you’ll know I think you are hot if I tell you so…or I compliment you…or something flattering like easing close to you and smiling..a LOT I love to smile..esp. when I have the nervous excitement. Otherwise, do not pass go. Do not collect $200). If you give me the “church hug” at either the beginning or the end of our date, I’ll know you aren’t into me (or misread that and think that you aren’t). I’ll be totally turned off (and a little sad).

Compliment me with class. There is a way to compliment..and then there is a way NOT to compliment. Please read an etiquette book. For example: ”That dress looks amazing on you” versus “Damn your titties look good in that dress!”. See the difference? Also, dont CONSTANTLY compliment me "Oh god..you are so beautiful".."Oh your smile is amazing". That gets annoying as HELL.

Don’t expect you buying me a drink to mean that you get to be in my company all night. That does NOT give you a pass to harass.

Do not bore me to death. Trust I’m bored if I start to play with my Blackberry. If I turn my Blackberry OFF, you have my full attention. Let’s change up the convo a little. I’m a diverse chick. Trust me I can hang.

Don’t comment on my physique at first meeting. Yes these 38 DD’s are awesome but please do not let them blind you. Don’t tell me how “thick” I am or how sexy I look or how “you don’t look that fat” or “you look skinnier in your pictures” or “your butt isn’t THAT flat”. OH NO! I’m gonna need you to come better than that and keep those eyes up top, buddy! (or at least be slick about it!)

Do not overtalk me or dominate the conversation.A conversation is two people talking and mutually exchanging ideas. If you notice after a while that I am saying only the following: “uh huh, yes, no, maybe, sure, right, etc….” then you know I am not feeling you OR our conversation and there is NO chemistry.

Don’t talk too much about money, your job, or etc. Don’t try and impress me with the “club you belong to” or the “investments you are making”. That’s awesome but…let’s ease into that with some humility.

Do not show me the BILL at the end of the date. OR ask me on a date then expect ME to pay for my own shit unless dutch has been established upfront. You asked me, patna. NOW..if I asked YOU, I will gladly be paying for us both. I’m a modern woman. I know we are not living in the best of economic times. I’m all for fairness. I’ll even leave the tip sometimes.

Do smile. Practicing being hard went out in 98. Don’t mean mug especially if you are attractive…Conversely…DON’T talk about how attractive or hot you are…and you aren’t. How will you know you aren’ t attractive to me…I’m definitely NOT smiling at you. (see the above about church hugs)

There is NO SEX on the first date. EVER. So don’t even try and go there. But..there are great and awesome first kisses (sometimes..LOL). If the kiss is good..trust me you will know. There will be some head holding..some heavy breathing…etc. If it is not. I’ll quickly turn to go to my door and run as fast as I can to my Scope. If I come 90…please do come 10. Don’t have me play myself.

Do refrain from overly sexual conversations. I don’t wanna hear about how you did the damn thang with your ex OR what you wanna do things to me. I don’t want to hear about how you cheated on your ex 4 times and didn’t get caught. I don’t want to hear about your penis size. I don’t wanna hear about anything of a sexual nature. We can save that for later…as in..IF we have sex at all.

Leave your past in the past. I dont wanna hear about any ex's..or what your ex used to do. I dont want to hear you bash them or call them names. I dont want to hear about your baby mama. Make it black history!

Being open should be limited at first meetings. I appreciate folks being open yet you dont need to lay it ALL on the table at first meeting. I dont need to know about your erectile dysfunction or how terrible the divorce was (for the record..I DEF try not to discuss my divorce on first meetings).

Do be a gentleman. Chivalry isn’t dead. Open my door. Take my coat. Help me put my coat on. Pull out my chair. Gently wipe away something that may be on my lip…(that’s kinda sexy). You know, have some home training.

Do smell good. But do not knock me out with the amount of cologne you are wearing. Cologne is an awesome way to impress me.

Don’t try planning the next date if I’m not feeling the first date OR the current company I am in. We have to have some sort of chemistry, even as friends, to take it to the next level or even want to spend time together.

Do ask for my phone number…and use it. Don’t text me to death. Don’t instant message me to death. Call me… Let’s have a great conversation….that could lead to something more. And don’t have phone sex with me the first night…come on, son!

Don't read into anything TOO DEEPLY. Hey..this is a first meeting/date. That doesn't mean I'm feeling you...this is an "interview"...gotta get to know you!


More than anything, be relaxed. Be cool, be calm. Be charming. Be funny. Just be yourself.



That’s all a girl like me could ask for :)

March 6, 2010

My Relationship with B.O.B.

This week I picked up the new Raheem Devaughn album Love and War MasterPeace (Deluxe Edition). I had been eagerly awaiting the new album as Raheem is probably one of my fav neo-soul singers that is out and putting out quality work. Everyone had told me (who heard sneak previews of the album), that I needed to prepare myself. It was definitely a sexy album. I closed my eyes and with each song, it took me to a very sensual place. I thought to myself “Boy…I’d get in trouble with this one and end up pregnant and have to seen Mr. Devaughn an action for Child Support”. Raheem definitely painted some hot and steamy pictures. With each song, I was transported to some sexy dates in my head…..then I heard his song called “B.o.B”.

What’s a BOB? Well...all ladies know what a BoB is. Some of us have had some long standing relationships with BoB? It’s our “Battery Operated Boyfriend”. I’m going to let Raheem explain it a little better…..sang it, Raheem!






Although the subject matter was a bit comical, Raheem definitely put a sexy and erotic spin on it. He said “BoB definitely can’t do what a real man can” basically. And trust me, with the picture Raheem paints, we definitely want what he has to offer. A man is much more talented than a manufactured BoB.


Hmmm…that may be so (and we all would prefer a real man) but often times BoB is a HELL of a lot more reliable than a real dude.
First off, you don’t have to worry about “scheduling” conflicts with BoB. BoB comes when you want him…and trust me...HE COMES. BoB doesn't need ego stroking...or viagra! BoB doesn’t come with excuses as to why he can’t come that day. BoB isn’t trying to juggle you, his baby mama, and another chick on rotation. And if you invest in a GOOD BoB he will ROTATE… just for you. BoB is disease and drug free and most of all bitchassness free. BoB comes in a variety of shapes, colors and even speeds. BoB doesn’t talk crap in bed and says “Who’s is it!!???” or “Are you gonna come?” or “Is it good?” to where you have to roll your eyes and fake enjoyment. You never have to fake anything with BoB. Either you get it, or you don’t. And when you don’t, there is no 15 minute period of “yo...let me rest up and I’ll get back in there!” Oh no...BoB goes right back to work. Sure your hand might get tired and you might have to replace the batteries, but BoB damn sure is reliable. Most of all…BoB doesn’t lie to you. He’s who he is...in all his glory. You don’t have to play the guessing game and say to yourself “Lord...let this man be a cruise ship and not a tug boat!!” BoB doesn’t smell like horrible cologne or have holes in his drawers or uncut toenails. You don’t have to ask BoB to put on a condom or remind him to put the toilet seat down. In a way...BoB is the perfect, well-lubed machine.

For me, BoB is a great alternative as I am really trying to hold out on the “bumping uglies” until I find someone I truly care about and who cares about me (not jus marginally likes me or tolerates me...he truly CARES for me). Although BoB (actually...mine is named Adonis...LOL) is collecting dust, I still take him out, look at him, and smile cause I know he’s gonna be there IF I it gets tough and I have to call on him. BoB truly will work overtime to make me happy! However, despite the great uses of BoB, he does have his disadvantages. BoB can’t stroke my locs out my face…or whisper to me…or do that thing with my leg and his arms. BoB often times will get tossed in frustration at the fact that he had to be used in the first place! Where’s a GOOD penis when you need one?? But then, all is forgiven and BoB is welcomed back into your loving…er….arms like a jilted lover. In my lifetime, I’ve had 3 BoB’s and eventually...batteries couldn’t even bring them back to life. They had to get tossed to the wayside.

But…I will keep Raheem’s words in the back of my head...and pray one day that BoB can be officially retired (well...maybe not totally retired… just put back on the shelf). And that perhaps I can meet a great guy who will put BoB to shame.

Hope whoever that is, is up for the challenge! You have some pretty big shoes to fill, buddy!

March 5, 2010

Ask ME Anything

Wanna know more about The Mocha Peach??

Then visit my FormSpring!

I'll post your questions and my answers on a blog TBA....
SMOOCHES!!
TheMochaPeach

March 3, 2010

NSFW: The Weekly Porn Review

We will be featuring a new blog series on SATSB…. All about that naughty little genre of film called porn. I’m sure more women watch porn that they would care to admit to. Or perhaps you are in the group of women that think porn is taboo or just a “guy” thing. Well...I’m here to tell you that it isn’t. I want to sort of break the stigma associated with porn and especially women watching porn. And suggest some porn that will make you think….. (or get you in the mood..your choice!)





Note: I do not endorse these porn studios, actors or websites personally or for any monetary gain. I am just merely suggesting something you may want to watch and entertain yourself.

The Porn Review:
Black Squirt featuring Jada Fire and Havana Ginger
Director: LT
Studio: Elegant Ange
l



I personally am VERY picky about the porn I watch. My friends laugh and say I am a "porn snob/racist". I like to see attractive people of color (Black/Latino/Brazilians) in porn and names I recognize. It’s all about big butts and big sticks (LOL). I don’t like to watch things that make me totally uncomfortable. I’m not into strange fetishes like big women or pregnant women or midgets (LOL). I dont even like interracial because often times that becomes played out sexualized racial stereotypes. If anything, for me, porn is hilarious most times and is just an encyclopedia of sex. In other words, it hones your skills (I have picked up many a tip from porn….my secret! ;) )
I got into porn purely by accident in college. One of my boyfriends at the time had one in his DVD (I'm sure not by accident). and I watched it. Shocked..yet unable to turn away And it definitely added a little spice to the relationship. At one point, I had probably 100 DVDs of porn…now I’ve scaled it down….to 50 I think (LOL). And with the advent of free sites (and anonymous friends who like to send you porn as bridal shower gifts…LOL), you never have to buy porn again.


I was on the porn website Tubekings and ran across a small snippet of porn by one of my favorite “actresses” (if you can call them actresses..LOL) Jada Fire. I like her for a number of reasons: she’s attractive, she doesn’t say dumb stuff, she gives amazing head, and she probably has THE best boob job on the planet (my boy Ed had to convince me that the suckers were fake….) Honestly, she is a brown skinned girl that I can relate to looks wise. It also featured two other attractive women…(Hey..I’m straight but a little girl-on-girl doesn’t bother me)… What I thought would be just a regular old scene….quickly turned uhm…..interesting. What did it feature???




Squirting. Yep. Squirting. The all elusive female ejaculation. I was like…WOW! I thought this was the stuff of myths (and Sex and the City). I quickly had to go look for the entire video and I found it (If you can...DON’T pay for porn. There are a ton of free sites I will direct you all to as the series progresses….). I couldn’t believe it. Sistas had a TALENT that I surely hadn’t developed yet (and filed that in my mental “to do” list). And I'd heard many male friends squeal with delight at the thought of women doing this while in bed. The evidence of them messing up their sheets gave them a sense of pride.

What is squirting you ask? Well according to Wikipedia:




Female ejaculation (commonly known as squirting and gushing[1]) refers to the expulsion of noticeable amounts of clear fluid by human females from the paraurethral ducts through and around the urethra during or before orgasm. The exact source and nature of the fluid continues to be a topic of debate among medical professionals . Critics have maintained that ejaculation is either stress incontinence or vaginal lubrication. Research in this area has concentrated almost exclusively on attempts to prove that the ejaculate is not urine,[53][71] measuring substances such as urea, creatinine, prostatic acid phosphates (PAP), prostate specific antigen (PSA),[6] glucose and fructose [72] levels. Early work was contradictory; the initial study on one woman by Addiego and colleagues reported in 1981,[41] could not be confirmed in a subsequent study on 11 women in 1983, [73] but was confirmed in another 7 women in 1984.[74] In 1985 a different group studied 27 women, and found only urine,[56] suggesting that results depend critically on the methods used. A 2007 study on two women involved ultrasound, endoscopy, and biochemical analysis of fluid. The ejaculate was compared to pre-orgasmic urine from the same woman, and also to published data on male ejaculate. In both women, higher levels of PSA, PAP, and glucose but lower levels of creatinine were found in the ejaculate than the urine. PSA levels were comparable to those in males.[5]

Ok now that I’ve bored you all to death, let’s talk about the video. I think the video would have been better if there would have been some more dudes in there (it was an all female video and I mean there is only so many minutes of chicks I can watch, despite them being attractive. There may have been one dude in it..in a threesome). I mean I still don’t understand how they can do it on demand like that.
According to most accounts, it’s about stroking the g-spot (although they say it can happen without doing so). So ladies, you either have to have good reach with your BOB (battery operated boyfriend) or have a brother that can do it manually (or has a serious curve in his manhood...LOL). But the video definitely gives you idea of how to reach that all elusive squirt and have you pretty amazed. After watching this video, I had to look up some of Jada Fire’s other work (apparently she is the queen of squirting among black women in the industry). I am telling you…it’s amazing.

I give Black Squirt 4 out of 5. It is available on CDuniverse.com

March 2, 2010

Mixed-Signals Haiku

Girl Says : "I like you"
Boy Says: "I like you too....but"
Girl sits there confused

I am the hare and
You are the tortoise
Stillness in your shell

Not sure if I am
The Woman that you're seeking
Confused is my heart

You tell me you dont
Your actions say that you do
Lies your words tell me

My finger to your lips
I say "Hush..you think too much"
I come 90....you 10

At night I pray this:
"God..let him truly see me"
Whoever "HE" is

I don't wanna be
Forward or Presumptuous
Let me Kiss your Soul

You safegaurd your heart
With words that speak softly
To the depths of me

I can't watch you talk
Because I imagine lips
Your Lips...pressing mine

My heart breaks each time
You leave me with more questions
My love...than answers

I often wonder
Am I any man's "ideal"?
Maybe not .....ever

March 1, 2010

Ask a Man QOTW

..is about The Old Fashioned BJ

Warning:
Today's "Ask a Man" question is for the "grown ups". Someone wants to know "why is "oral stimulation" so important for dudes? More than food and money sometimes? And is that a dealbreaker in a relationship if a girl is bad and/or doesn't reciprocate?" Whoa... Fellas?


AJ (man)
*First*
February 22 at 9:13am ·

AJ
Like I am on a gossip blog..LOL...O.S.: Well when there is a itch that needs scratching and you(ladies) are not in the mood or whatever.. Putting your "mind" to it brings things in perspective. It's not necessarily a deal breaker..but if you want my "mind" on you, then you have to be able to put your "mind" on me.
February 22 at 9:16am ·

Mocha
A little "mind" over matter huh? LMAO!
February 22 at 9:19am ·

AJ
Yes Brains is a powerful tool and the mind is a terrible thing to waste
February 22 at 9:20am ·

AJ
On the serious tips I suggest that all women go get and read a book called "His Needs, Her Needs". This will answer a lot of questions about how men thinks and how important our needs are.
February 22 at 9:39am ·

AJ

It sounds like the person asking has been in a relationship for a while..(comfortable relationship question)...It has been my experience that companionship/cuddling etc is enough for women. Coupling is like air to a man. We don't need food for a while. Don't need to much money.. but air and bumping uglies..well that goes hand and hand. or in hand for some..LOL
February 22 at 9:44am ·

Mocha
Your answers are outta control..LMAO!
February 22 at 9:45am ·

AJ
I'll wait for other guys to chime in.. I could go on...but for real. "HisNeeds,HerNeeds" The bomb
February 22 at 9:47am ·

JUKE (man)
My two reasons...1) I would like to think a woman I've been with would go that extra mile2)It feels THAT damned good.... See MoreNow is it a dealbreaker...not really, but it sure is a security maker.
February 22 at 9:58am ·

AJ
And the Brothers said: Yaymen!
February 22 at 10:00am ·

Mocha.
So if a chick is "turble"...do you give lessons or tips for improvement? And what if she gets "offended" or goes "I dont do that! Thats nasty". (It happens)
February 22 at 10:39am ·

TJ (MAN)
it's not just important for us. you women are just as crazy about it as we are. it is a package deal...it should come with all other acts of intimacy. it is not a deal breaker for me but a grown woman in 2010 should not be afraid to do what SWV describes as going downtown.
February 22 at 10:53am ·

cDUB (MAN)
It might not be a deal breaker but could be the icing on the cake...(literally) If all else is equal, you dont and she does, you've just priced yourself out of the market...
February 22 at 11:27am ·

Mocha.
So your stock goes down??? Well gosh....LOL!

LinkWithin

Blog Widget by LinkWithin
 

Blog Design By: Lucky Girl Design Studio © All Rights Reserved. | Graphic: iStockphoto