Sex and The Southern Belle

**Editor's Notes : Now I am sure some of you are like.." But wait, Mocha..haven't you been married before??" Yeah So what? I didnt produce any kids from it.  I'm single again. I'm speaking like the SINGLE, childess person I am. Therefore, I want to create a whole family unite: mother, father and child. Husband, Wife and child. Parents and children. *shrug* Had I had some kids..this wouldn't be my conversation. I might even seek a partner WITH kids IF I had kids. This is my truth. I stand firm in it. Yeah I'm complicated... so.If you don't like it..bite me (LOL).

So everyone and their mom sent me this video from the Tyra Banks show featuring women (a few black) who were telling their daughters to "marry a rich man"..... (Watch the Video: Little girl w/ the Afro Puff is alright with me .....) As a girl, I did not grow up learning to "marry for money"....ALTHOUGH...I wish more emphasis had been placed on finding a man who had "fiscal responsibility" as opposed to money. My mother always focused on making sure a guy "had his head on straight"...loved me...and was an overall good guy. She never told me to marry rich or up in class.....but I sorta wish she had. My parents were not rich...we were not dirt poor. BUT..we could have had better..and strive for better .. My father, conversely , was/is a tightwad on all things that DIDN "T concern him. I've always felt either extreme....severe fiscal irresponsibility ...OR being severely niggardly are detrimental . Like I said...I WISH she had placed more ...

I was reflecting more on the plight of the African American community and our lack of healthy, whole families. I, too, realize I am part of the problem. I’m a statistic.. But…I digress. My friend Cee told me something earlier this week about how other cultures make it their duty, their obligation, to make sure that their kids find a mate. Her example was about the Jewish community and how mother’s (and fathers too) are vigilant about finding a mate for their child. If they don’t, they feel that they are a failure as a parent (and sometimes as grandparents). And aside from communities that participate in arranged marriages, there are other cultures that take it upon themselves to find their kids a mate. She was also saying that Asian parents search tirelessly in their communities for a mate. They stop at nothing and ask everyone if they have a free cousin/brother/sister/neice/nephew/grandson/granddaughter/godchild that is single and available as a partner for their child. We don’t do th...