Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts with the label dreams

The Intersection

I am at the intersection of "Fuck it All" and "Think This Thing Through"... Oh btw.. this blog is about career and professional goals... (if you don't want to read any further). I do not dislike my job. But it has run its course and served its purpose. I've been serving in an administrative capacity in High Ed for close to 15 years now. It was my first job out of graduate school. And while it wasn't my dream job of junior editor at Random House, it was a job that allowed a steady paycheck, benefits, and had the familiarity of school. If there is one thing i know, it is that I know University and how it works. And I am good at it. I've had promotion after promotion, title changes and bigger offices. But I've grown tired.  The truth is.. I am not living my purpose. And I know my purpose is to write. I am almost 40.. so I keep wondering if it is too late.. but then I remember JK Rowling was 40.. Vera Wang was 40....

The Itch

I am 30. I am divorced. I'm in debt. I sold my still new house I have no car. I hate my job. I still don't have my Ph.D. I never had children with my ex husband. I've never been pregnant or had a real scare. I’m not dating anyone and don’t have any real prospects ...yet and still... I want to have a baby. All around me...friends are getting pregnant or working on baby #1...or even #2. I'm so happy and overjoyed for them. Honestly...I shouldn't even be thinking about this. I just sold my house (which had plenty of room for children). I am getting out of a marriage and dating again. I am trying to get my finances in order. I am trying to lose more weight and obtain some goals. But something about me pains for a child of my own. I feel like there is hole in my heart.... I had resolved myself to adopt or even be a fantastic step mother (if I were to ever get married again). I mean...years ago I had resolved to not even be a mother at all...and as my marriage went south....