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Showing posts from July, 2010

Divorce: Not Just About Two

...it's about a "we"...an "us"..a community of families being torn apart.

In our marriage ceremony, there was a part where the pastor asked the community of our families (and friends), to outstretch their hands and point toward us at the altar. He said.."You are entrusted to support this relationship, It is not only the responsibiliy of the couple but also of their families and friends to see that their marriage thrive".

Fastfoward just two short years later,, that promise of support had vanished and been broken and we indeed didn't make it. I realized then that divorce wasn't  just about US but also about the collective WE that we pledged to become: one, big extended family. Although it was expected, that friends just didn't understand and would try to help, family was another story.

In having a talk with my ex-husband, I asked how my former Mother-In-Law was doing. I had gotten a feeling that she wasnt ok from other implied conversations …

Feeling/Not Feeling

FEELING
the increase of subs and readership! I love you all so mucha good love storyIFC/SUNDANCE/RETRO/IndiePlex (I LOVE independent and foreign films)Japanese animesleeping in just a T-shirt in the summer.cute graphic T-shirtsKem's new album coming soon. I love him!Little Five Points in ATL (Euclid Ave and Moreland....stand up!)graduating from an HBCUR&B making a strong comebackre-runs of Noah's Arc...I miss that show.The "Sex Mix" playlist of 150 songs that's on my IpodTwitter..and the new UberTwitter.(I used to loathe it..now I cant part from it)aging like fine wine *insert a Shanay-nay Heyyyyyyy!*



NOT FEELING
The fact that I am both too poor and indecisive to get the REAL design cracking on this blog. I gotta keep my promises *sigh* (Who wants to donate to the design fund?? I got Paypal! LOL)The fact that my Sexy Playlist might not ever get used in this century (LOL) then the songs will be all old and isht!Ive never liked Keith Sweat..what a talentless hack!…

Dating and the Dark-Skinned Girl

Often times in the circle of close bloggers, who become friends, we get into debates (albeit friendly ones) but debates nonetheless. I happened to be on my "private" blog site reading a dear friend's blog. I love her to death and she's been like a big sister to me, helping me through my divorce as a shoulder to cry on and listening ear. And although I've never met her in person...I do consider her a friend (that may sound strange to most..but it isnt to bloggers!) She's a gorgeous Black and Mexican woman..living in southern Cal and raising her teenage son amazingly! I was reading her blog...and came across this:

Ok..just a random thought... What is with the expression "LSLH?" Because it's usually used in a negative way, I'm offended by it.It irks me to no end! I mean, does it make us less of a black women because we have lighter skin and long hair? So when I read blogs or websites that use that expression, I think it's sad. So what if I&…

The Boyfriend Experience

I was up late one night watching Cinemax (oh no...It wasn’t Zane or anything. LOL). I was watching a movie called “The Girlfriend Experience” with a real-life former porn star Sasha Gray making her major film debut as (what else) a call girl named Chelsea who gets paid to give men the “girlfriend experience”. Directed by acclaimed director Steven Soderbergh cinema verite style (he’s the director of Traffic, Erin Brocovich, etc), it chronicles a time right before the 2008 election and how a woman is trying to balance the normalcy of having a boyfriend with her clients. Often times, she has an inability to separate the two worlds causing her to pretty much lose feeling for anyone around her.

Now…how does this relate to my blog you might ask…..?


As you all know, I’ve been on a series of dates this summer, I dubbed it “100 Dates of Summer” but in actuality, it was only about 6 (LOL). Nevertheless, the point of it all was to get out, meet more people and just not be so shy and be open to f…

NSFW: The Weekly Porn Review

Instead of the usual blog...we will explore something I like to call...

"Twerking somethin' "
What's twerking something you say? Well..with the advent of "stripper themed" classes, pole dancing class, and exotic/erotic dance class, I thought I'd highlight some of the videos that show all that is the classic ATL-style strippers... If you ever watched BET Uncut..Im sure you've seen the phenomena of twerking-moving your ass in astronomical ways. Now for us who lack ass (i.e. myself)..I sit and marvel in amazement at those who can.
I decided to post some pics for you ample backside chicks..for some inspiration. Take it from the pole to your bedroom....do it for your man. Places teach classes on this....so try it!!
My friend sent me this one. Apparently, this chick is a pretty big stripper star here in the city (Ms Peachtree down at Magic City). And uhm..she got skills. How can you isolate your butt cheek like that? Anyway..you all take a look!


Then this i…

Rules for Single Folks with Married Friends

I was out with a friend (strictly platonic) this weekend having a marvelous lunch. He’s in a fairly new relationship and I guess he is thinking about taking it to the next level with his lady friend. I was all giddy and he was asking me questions about marriage, divorce and post-divorce. He was quite candid actually.

He said he took issue with the way his lady friend carried on with her ex-fiancĂ©. He found them far too close to be carrying on that way- the intimate calls, wanting to be BFF’s, texts all times of the night, hanging late night, etc. I nodded my head and understood what he meant. If he’s thinking about proposing, then surely that behavior just won’t do. He was genuine and concerned. “What are the RULES for this??” While I assured him that ex’s can be friends without anything more, there have to be some ground rules in place when you are in a NEW relationship.

It took me back to a time when I was married and how the stuff that people did (Well…FRIENDS of my ex husband) us…

Feeling/Not Feelng

Feeling
Sir Lucious Left Foot...the new Big Boi Album.Bon Jovi...they still rock (and Jon is still fine as hell!)summer rainstorms (did I say this already??)trying a new restauraunts.salmon benedictsipping wine on my patio  (preferably with someone)RuPaul's Drag Umy wedding CD. Even after 4 years that joint still bumps so hard! (LOL)all night Greek diners..(I LOVE diners...)someone massaging my templeslittle sweet text messages...just becausesilencePSYCH on USA (funny ass show! For real!)
Not Feeling
Where the hell is Outkast! Cmon now! *sigh*These occasional migrainesUhm...is this real??not meeting my  dating goals..oh well.people who name drop..I dont care who you know. That doesnt impress megreat first dates...that dont materialize into anythingOR the fact that I wont sleep with you on date one..or two...you just cut off talking to mewhy my right contact feels so weirdpeople who PRETEND to be in frats. WHY lord why? *smh* In this DAY and age!feeling like a hypocrite over my love l…

Absolution: A Poem

We can spend 1000 days
In 1000 lifetimes
Atoning for past sins
Of our past ways
When our paths last crossed.
But what good will that do?
When the gift that the present is giving us
Is an opportunity to start like a blank slate?
“Tabula rasa”
With each other
We can keep living karmic existences
Endless suffering on the wheel of life
Repeating and replaying
The pain we’ve caused each other
But why do that?
When love like a seedling buried deep grows
Still there
Like a forgotten bloom that
Even without watering and tending.
Still manifests into beauty.
The beauty itself is forgiveness
I have not forgotten love
You have not forgotten love
I harbor in love’s purgatory
Between complete remorse and
Sheer joyfulness
We can’t go on living this way
Swimming in a sea of questions
“Will you?”
“Wont I?”
“Do you?”
“Have you ever?”
Coming up for air which is answers
Yet we get caught in the current of doubt
And drown in fear
We can apologize to each other
In 10,000 different ways
In 10,000 differen…

NSFW: The Weekly Porn Review

I know I havent done a weekly porn review in ages....but...I want to delve into the question:

Is Superhead REALLY that super????
So I'm on the phone with one of my Frat brother and he is going on and on about Karrine "Superhead" Steffans and how bomb her head techniques is. If you arent familiar with who Karrine Steffans is, you must not have a TV or live on a commune.  Anyway, she's the pretty much video hoe who fucked mad dudes in the sports and entertainment industry and wrote a book about it..and got rich. Paving the way for whores around the world to feel like they can get their "come up" by airing their dirty laundry and spreading their legs.

Furthermore, she is supposed to have the best head technique that ever existed on the planet (hence the moniker "Superhead").. Well...I'd heard she done a porn with one of my favorite porn stars Mr. Marcus so of course I had to check it out (and my Frat told me to google it....darn you P!! *smh* )
WARN…

Just a Soul Sista

Date #6 (or is it 7...hmmm) : The "Fratboy"









“Maybe you had too much soul for the dude”

My girl Cee said this after my last date.



He was…”different”. He had had experiences that I wasn’t accustomed to at all. He was a black man in a white frat. He skied and lived in different places like Mexico, Spain and Amsterdam. He grew up near the Catskills. His parents were very “white collar” who checked his English (which made me, the English major, even more self conscious not to slip into relaxed English). He loved the Dave Matthews Band. Most of his friends were white and upon inspection of his social networking pages, a lot of his friends who were brothers were married to non-black women. I’m not even sure his last few girlfriends were black. He said he was a great dancer and that his friends always say he’s a good dancer. (Uhm..around a bunch of white folks I’m sure I’d be a bomb dancer too! LOL). It was like I was on a date with my brother except he wasn’t gay (LOL). We met for l…

"Why Don't You Take Me Out Anymore?"

It's Friday night.

You are sitting on the couch with your boo.....again..

Law and Order SVU marathon on USA is on...again....

You yawn....He adjust himself.......AGAIN.

Here we go again.....

You look over to your man and go..."Why dont you take me OUT anymore??"

He rolls his eyes.........


Let's look at this dillema from two points.
What HE Says:

Look. I've gone out in my 20's and teens. I'm TIRED of going out. Aint shit out there in the streets. I WANNA spend the TIME with you. Why must I spend all this money? Why you always gotta GO Somewhere all the time? It aint no special occasion! It's not our anniversary..or birthday or holiday! We go on a few trips a year. And yes..going OUT in the city is a trip too! I did all that stuff when we were dating. We are a COUPLE now.  Isnt that what you wanted? Whats wrong with just saying in the house? Ive done all my running around. I'm settled.... IM TIRED! I work all day! I just wanna chill! And I wanna chill with y…

Atlanta: An Enigma

I love Atlanta....

(looks like Central Park doesn't it. NOPE..that's our good ol' Piedmont Park....)
I just don't LIKE her right now.

I was born and raisedi n ATL. I will rep ATL (Decatur/Gresham Park) till I die. I love what ATL used to be: sleepy yet growing Southern metropolis that played by its own rules (backwards as some seemed) and did it's own thing..carving out a niche in becoming a great city. It's still becoming a great city, flaws and all. We have our little quaint spots..and plenty of green trees (probably one of the greenest major cities I know)

However,  I HATE what ATL has become: overpopulated, pretentious, and full of people who thought it was the land of milk and honey..selling pipe dreams..thinking it is Black Hollywood (Or Gay Black Hollywood if you ask some)..trying to rub elbows with ballers and shot callers, fake, fake and UBER fake and people with an "entitled" attitude.

Truth of the matter is...ATL is some of that. And none o…

The "Fleece Johnson" Guide to Dating

I am not sure if any of you saw the recent Boondocks where they spoofed prison culture and gayness. Well....if you haven't...here is a little clip of where they got their inspiration from. Fleece Johnson...the Booty Warrior... So yeah...Fleece is a little crazy..but we are about to roll with thiis for a minute. I am about to take the "Fleece Johnson" no holds barred approach to dating. If I see a dude it's going down  like this: I likes ya I wants ya We can do this the easy way Or the hard way....your choice. Now..Fleece might be talking about gay men and booty warrior and "hornin". But..I'm talking about taking the same approach to men. If I see a dude I want..I WANT HIM. Imma have him. We can play games and bullshit and do it the hard way...OR we can do it the easy way...you give in to me and my desires (and yours)..and be happy. Which would you rather have? Would you rather have to do dumb sh*t to work for a good woman? Or take an easy approach with the sam…

Feeling/Not Feeling

Feeling
Atlanta PRE-2000Centennial Park and free concertsice cream cones from Bruster'sreggae clubs *smile*....cold Chic-Fil-A Lemonade (Oh..and the new spicy sammich! YUMM!)cruising down PeachtreeThe Beautiful restauraunt BBQ (esp. corn on the cob)the excitement of the NBA Free Agency (but it's still a modern day slave auction..*smh*)NFL pre-season is mere months away! *jumps up and down*chocolate skin with dimples *sigh*Compliments....(esp in Summer! All this effort I go through! Pedis, Manis, Brazilians! *smh*)This new Big Boi album...on fiyah!Bill-Me-LaterBeing a FOR REAL..Georgia Peach! Nothing like it! :)

Not Feeling
Atlanta POST-2000My job, due to a contract w/ Coca Cola REFUSES to sell Chick Fil A Lemonade..yet we have one here! *smh*trying to run a mile in this heatPeople who think Gladys Knights is "authentic" ATL food (Or Justins..*smh*) Negative!My Ipod is doing wonky things..like shuffling all my songs! So weird!The media trying to make me care about Lebron…

Dating and New Math

Dating is on some New Math right now.....










Mimimal Input+ Minimal Effort= Maximum Output








Does that even make SENSE to you? In what realm of math and equations and Google algorithms does that even add up?









You go out one time...the second date you want sex?









You go ask someone out and dont pay....and yet expect them to give you some ass AND pay for their food?









You call a person, they never communicate and only want you around when they want you around.









You see where I'm going with this....









I think dating should be about putting in the most effort to get to know someone and hoping (at least) for the greatest outcome possible The greatest outcome shouldnt even be about sex. It's about learning someone new, having new experiences, and making a new friend (with the hopes of something more). In this generation of entitled and spoiled brats, we dont want to work for anything. We want it all the easy way and dont want to work for anything. That includes relationships.









I personally don'…

Poem: Dancehall

Dancehall

Wine

Grind

Stepping slowly to the beat

Sweat

Heat

Between you and me

Your hands on my hips

And guide me to the rhythm

Lighters in the air

Smoke everywhere

But there is nothing but silence between you and me

I feel the sweat on your cheek

Pressed up against me

Bodies In sync

Meant to meet

A crowd all around

But together we are escaping

via pulsating cadence

You stand so close to me

I can feel your heartbeat

Chest thumps

Beats bump

Hair on my neck

Sticky

Sweat beads

Your fingers intertwine with mine

We pause

Suddenly there is no sound

Eyes lock

Bodies pop

To the beat

In crowded the dancehall

It’s just you in me

Sex in clothes

In syncopated beats

Now

At this moment

You and Me

The Epitome of Forgiveness

My mother is the epitome of forgiveness.


…especially with my father.

She and my father have been married for well over 34 years. With all of the cheating, lies and making kids outside of their marriage (and expecting her to accept all of that) and abuse, my mother has yet to waiver in who she is- a forgiving and loving person (and a dutiful wife.)

She caters to my father-making sure his meals are made and his needs are met. When we go out, she orders him food or takes her leftovers. She always gets him a birthday gift and remembers their anniversary. She rarely raises her voice to him even when he yells. She just lets things go.

When I was younger, I used to think she was a complete doormat. “I don’t understand why she won’t stay mad at him!” I would think. In actuality, she’s probably one of the strongest women I know. As I got older she confessed to me why she stayed with my father. She said “He may not respect my vows but I do. I know when my last days are here, I’ve done my part i…

Prose-Poetry: The Perfect 3 Day Weekend.

..would be some hot, sweaty, steamy sex.




I mean ALL WEEKEND.



Friday at 5 pm to Monday night at Midnight.



I want my sheets soaked with sweat



I wanna just get up to eat food and go to the bathroom.



I dont wanna shower. I wanna lay in the scent of him...(whoever HIM is)



Who cares about 4th of July fire works when I'd have some in my bedroom.



Sex



Hot, nasty freaky sex



I mean I need dude to beat it out the frame.......



Maxwell..Raheem..Trey..Usher..Robin...in the background.



Then again all I wanna hear is his moan and grunts...



..and the sound of wetness...



I want my legs bent to my ears



I want my punnany sore..so sore I need an icepack



I want to go through 3 bottles of lube



If dude is darkskinned..I wanna suck his D*CK till he's lightskinned (and vice versa....)



If I must be clothed..I just want to be in his t-shirt



I want his cologne in my pillows



I wanna scratch his back all the way up



I want him to suck on perfectly manicured toes



I want to grab his tight, muscular ass..



I want…

The Dangers Of You: Haikus

I dream about you


Even though I shouldn’t be

Dangerous mind game



I smell your aura

All in my clothes…in my hair..

Intoxicating



Every fiber

Of my being says you’re bad

Lust says otherwise



Dimly lit French bar

The heat between us sticky

Sweat runs down my spine



You love the way that

I drank water through my straw

Imagine lips curled around…



You’re so bad you’re good

So arrogant …it’s sexy

Loathe yet lust for you





You’re on my mind

I wonder if I’m on yours

Aimlessly wishing



Southern Summertime

A deadly combination

For bad decisions


The dangers of you
Outweight safety of my heart
Pleasureable pain