Sex and The Southern Belle

I had hoped for other hair... (My Little One Reading a Book Before Bed) ... for my daughter. No, I didn't want her to have "good hair"... hair that ebbed and flowed close to the weight of Whiteness. I didn't want that for her.  I didn't want her to have hair that was deemed "managable" or "a good grade". as if you can give hair letter grades or grade it on a curve. I just wanted her to have any hair other than MY hair. She inherited my hair. And I cried. When I found out I was having a girl, anxiety was replaced with dread. " Dear God.. I have to learn how to do hair ". See, growing up, my mother was my stylist, even way into high school. So in between salon visits, she would relax or press my hair. She'd style it or comb it. And I never worried about it. I tried and tried to do my own hair... and failed. The only style I could keep up were Brandy-inspired box braids (which some poor, Senegalese woman would do for ho...

I was on my last few repetitions of the row machine at the gym. I looked over at the older woman a few ways down, sweating profusely on the treadmill, and a very svelte white girl doing chin dips. I just wanted to get through these last few rows and eat my granola.  I had joined the gym at my job in January,  I was recommitting myself to my health. For one, I was the mother of a very active toddler. And secondly, I didn't want to die. Flat out, I didn't want to die . I had some health scares shortly after joining the gym which required an emergency appendectomy and surgery. So I had been back at the gym steadily for almost two months. I was already over it. *sigh* I don't know. I know my body is different since having a baby. Not to say I was Serena Williams before pregnancy (or during because.. Pregnant Serena is still 10 times more in shape than current me).  I've never been one to eat badly (Tacos being my only real vice...). Although I am Southern, I...

*blows all the dust off this sucker* I am 30 days away from getting married so I haven't been able to post as much! HA! Yeah right! I just don't have sh*t to talk about... until today... ********* So Nicki Minaj released the video for her song "Anaconda" which samples Sir-Mix-A Lot's" Baby got Back". If you do not remember that song....................take a look here It was a gloriously cheesy song that celebrated the black woman's backside in a time and era when big butt were not en vogue. Sistas around the world enjoyed shaking their rump to this song and just having a good time. Fast forward almost 20 plus years and we have Onika "Nicki Minaj" Maraj sampling Sir Mix A Lot's song in all it's campiness. The song is trash. Pur and utter fluff and trash, void of any real substance. LOL and the video is deliciously lame. Take a look. Warning it may be NSFW (unless work is Magic City....but ok........... really i...

As part of my wedding photography package, I opted against doing traditional bridal portraits in favor of bridal boudoir photographs. I had done something " similar ' in my first marriage but my ex husband was involved...and I hated the fact that he was in most of the shots. Needless to say...these would be different.....I'd be totally alone. I was so nervous. I spent days and nights planning and picking out outfits.... I had been working out but I was self-conscious because I wasn't as fit as I wanted to be for these photos. I was going to call the whole thing off but my mother seemed excited for me...and my aunt thought that this would be the perfect gift to give my fiance' on our wedding day. I had a room and floor full of Lingerie and Louboutins.....everything that seemed "sexy" or bridal...I had it out. I labored for hours over my hair and makeup and nervously paced the floor waiting on our wedding photographer and his wife (and thank God she...

My wedding is in 4 months and 20 days............ I work out. I eat right 90% 85% if the time...  Granted I've been sick off and on for the better part of 8 months as well....and my fear is that I will appear like this coming down the aisle: I've always had a struggle with maintaining a healthy weight. Even when I was in high school and barely 125 lbs..I had "thick thighs" and got teased. So naturally, I do not want to waddle down the aisle looking like a big, puffy marshmallow. I picked a wedding dress that will suck in my shape. But knowing the tag says "Size 20" is so disheartening. And most of it is boobs and my tummy...blah! I have a dress fitting in almost a month. And I know that I will not have lost anything. I thought about doing some Arden's Garden detox for a few days. Or just forgoing meat. Or giving up my daily, 2 oz chocolate habit.... But I like food. And I like working out. But I also don't like having live...

Jilly from Philly is a brick house fa sho' It took me 33 (ok..32.75) years to realize.. I am not skinny. I will NEVER be skinny. Ever. The smallest I may get down to is a NICE solid 8...a 10 if I up the carbs.... And I am OK with that..... Part of my embrace of my bliss in 2012 has also been coming to grips with my body image... As a kid, I have always had this love/hate relationship with my curves. I developed SUPER early, and was all boobs and thighs and no butt. I had a weird shape in my eyes. I got teased relentlessly....My name starts with a T so I got called every "Titty" joke in the book. I had no butt...and I got teased by guys about that. Yet I wanted to be thin. I didn't realize at 5'4 and 125 lbs I was STACKED....not fat...and went through periods of flirting with of bulimia and anorexia. That didn't last too long.....I like to eat. I used to run miles and stayed doing leg exercises because I was a cheerleader....little did I ...

Touch me here… Wait...no there Uhmmm...that feels good. No...stop…not at THIS angle. Wait...no...I don’t like how I look in this light… Turn the lights off...no...ALL the way off… We have all been there. We meet a guy. We date for a while...and finally…tonight is the night. You put on your sexiest lingerie. You oil up your body. You spray the expensive perfume. You make sure you are waxed/shaved/plucked and your toes are painted the most luscious, suckable shade. You are perfecting your make-up in your favorite shade of MAC. All is going well until….. You look in a mirror. Oh god! Those stretch marks on my butt. My stomach is hanging over my thong. I have that scar on my thigh when I fell of my bike when I was 12. Jesus..should he really SEE me like this? Thus begins the self-doubt and self consciousness that comes with sex. We all get like that a time or two. One area or another of our body makes us rethink the “getting wild and kinky” part. Maybe he won’t like my legs? Or maybe my b...