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Showing posts from March, 2012

Wordless Wednesday: 33...is alright with me

Tongue-tied: a poem

My tongue is heavy from speaking your name
Weighted words heavy with promise
Twisted around my vocal chords
Like a noose
I cannot repeat it
For if I do I'll die inside
A little of me crumbles
At the magnitude of your wanting

Your name looms
Like eclipsed moon over Saturn
You ask to explore my planets
But I hide behind the very thought
Of your probing
Orifices filled with verbal erections

I speak your name and my heart beats faster
Like the wings of a hummingbird
Caught in my throat
Only to be released when I think of heavier things: God.love imagination creativity procreation lust desire home positivity liberation you you you you kisses you love lust desire liberation liberation liberation is you you you God it is you

Your name... like colors running together
Into a pool of blackness or prism
It has no end or beginning

Your full name is 7 syllables
like haiku middle stanza
It is imprisoned poetry to me
Dare I speak it?

My tongue is heavy burdened.
From carrying around …

Thursday Tunes: Simply Beautiful...Al Green

I am a child that had her musical teeth cut on old soul, blues, and R&B. There wasn't a Saturday that went by growing up that the house wasn't filled with oldies on the weekend...and Al Green was on heavy rotation.  I have so many fond memories of Rev Al. He was my late aunt Madonna's favorite male singer...Normally loud and boisterous...if she heard some Al Green....she would hit the proverbial "Owwwwww", snap her fingers,  and sway to the beat of his music....I think she liked the ballads the most.

Albert Green, born April 13, 1946 in Arkansas, is a Gospel and R&B sensation, whose peak was in the 1970s. Green's debut album with Hi Records was Green Is Blues, a slow, horn-driven album that allowed Green to show off his powerful and expressive voice, with Mitchell arranging,engineering and producing. The album was a moderate success. The next LP, Al Green Gets Next to You (1970), included a hit remake of the Temptations classic "I Can't Get Ne…

Wordless (Sorta) Wednesday

Oh yeah! It's officially March Madness!!!


Please support my brothers of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc. and  the "Sigmas from the Heart" calendar to raise funds and awareness against autism.

You can purchase your calendar here: www.heartofsigma.org

And follow them on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/TheMenOfSigma2012Calendar 

Embracing The "Thickness"

Jilly from Philly is a brick house fa sho'
It took me 33 (ok..32.75) years to realize..

I am not skinny.


I will NEVER be skinny.


Ever.


The smallest I may get down to is a NICE solid 8...a 10 if I up the carbs....


And I am OK with that.....
Part of my embrace of my bliss in 2012 has also been coming to grips with my body image... As a kid, I have always had this love/hate relationship with my curves. I developed SUPER early, and was all boobs and thighs and no butt. I had a weird shape in my eyes. I got teased relentlessly....My name starts with a T so I got called every "Titty" joke in the book. I had no butt...and I got teased by guys about that. Yet I wanted to be thin. I didn't realize at 5'4 and 125 lbs I was STACKED....not fat...and went through periods of flirting with of bulimia and anorexia. That didn't last too long.....I like to eat. I used to run miles and stayed doing leg exercises because I was a cheerleader....little did I know I was FIONE....

When I …

March Bliss Check In

Square Peg/Round Hole: A Poem

It's 20***....


Square Peg....

Here we are again...

Falling harder than Gabby Sidibe hitting a split off a pole at Magic City

Yes.. We here we are again. Falling hard. For him.

Here we go... Writing love lorn poetry over this man.

Again and again. Like a teenager wondering what your last name sounds like with his.


We get sick at the thought of not speaking to him.
Wondering how his day is. And what he's doing.
What kind of underwear he has one.
What it feels like to slip your tongue around his manhood....
If his cologne smells like sex.

Here we are jonesing for the man.

But she is too....

Round hole...

He used to be so interested.....

Hanging on your every word...

He calls you at 10 pm and calls her at 10:39.

You text him at 7 and get no response till Midnight

because he's texting her back....engrossed...in depth

Afterthought you are...

Square Peg...

You are writing your names with his on scraps of paper.

She's tattooing his name on his heart .

And you don't stand a cha…

A (Re) New Relationship with B.O.B

(Get a little Bedroom Kandi...courtesy of Kandi Burruss)
There is great debate among those practicing celibacy . The debate is on the validity of toys and masturbatory aids and if they should be used during your period of "rest" from carnal knowledge.

Are toys ok? Certainly they aren't human. Is masturbation ok? Certainly you are your safest partner. Does it create in the spiritually sober mind a fleshly desire? Or are you just handling business until the time "comes".

I, early on, was of the mindset that touching myself during this period was bad. And especially using a vibrator was no good. It was phallic. It pulsed. It moved. And most of all, it got me desiring the real flesh and blood thing. So I avoided all tools of the trade. I was doing just fine....until...

A vendor unexpectedly sent me a toy. I hadn't requested any toys for review but it was a gorgeous piece of sexual apparatus. It vibrated like a monster, had a curve for g-spot stimulation. On top …

My Birthday Wish

Feeling/ Not Feeling

Feeling:

My birthday is a few weeks away. I'm soon about to move out of the 30-34 age box. LolSilence: when all you need to say can be done with a look, touch, or kiss.Carole's Daughter Tui oilRaheem Devaughn's Destination Loveland mixtape. That song "All Ready" puts me in fantasy land.like i have a handle on the direction I want my research to go in.The show New Girl.key lime pieDiners, Drive-Ins, and Dives on Food TVWho Do You Think You Are on NBC. The black people are so interesting...Going to see my girls in DC end of the month. I love them so. I need their energy right now.MojitosProud of myself I had balls to go travel alone. I will do it againWords with Friends....I can play all day.Now my girl Candi has me addicted to "Draw Something"This pic of Lenny above...my gawd....strawberries and whipped creammy year of celibacy is almost overPortable Ipod Speakerssummer is almost hereCole Haan shoesAngie Harmon's voiceDolvett Quince's teeth. My go…

F*ck Like A Man

I hear that phrase a lot. There is a belief that men always separate their feelings from sex.  That this is a hard and fast rule....Meaning, they hardly ever have "emotional" reasons for having sex, particularly if they are single. Women need romance/feelings to have sex; Men need Sex to have romance (LOL)

As my reach my full year of celibacy, I have been asked if I will have "causal" sex after this year is over. Meaning, will I be able to just have sex, minus the emotions. "Have sex like a man", they say. Just *fuck them and keep on moving*.... and surely I will have more fun. At this point, I am not sure if I will even want to stop the celibacy, let along jump in head first (pun intended) and dive in deep.

I've been told I will feel more liberated if I "'take all the pressure off" of it, all the expectations that I will be sharing a serious, life altering experience. Just "think like a man and do it".  Divorce myself from th…

While I Was There: a poem

Your hands remind me
Of sand
The sand I felt between my thighs
In foreign lands
Rough touching
No matter how much
I try and wash you off
There you go
Engrained in every part of me
You don't even realize how you
Touch me.
And I want to be able
Not to get rid of you
To have you hide in unsuspecting places
To have you exfoliate
The rough exterior of my heart
Soften me
Allow me to love you
Do you even want that, my love?
I read Neruda on the beach
Toes pressed in sand
Imagining that it's your tongue
Grazing my toes
I am aura and energy
A firefly in a daytime sky
I want to drown in you
Like quicksand
Like an hourglass measuring
The time
I fold in and out of space.
Back into you
Until I am mixed with you
And you mix with me
chemistry
You've enter every fiber of me
washing me...like an ocean..
sticking me .
The sun bakes you into me
like clay
Seeps into me
I cant rid you
I cant wash you off
I wont...
I wont...
I imagine your hands
Are sand
Sand from foreign land
Between my…

Traveling While (Single &) Black

This is a travel log (it will attempt to be at least..and I promise to be sorta short).

I decided on a whim after my last birthday that I would do somethings immediately on my life's bucket list. Those being : a) not give a shit anymore and b ) travel internationally solo.

While still working on A , I put my plan for B in action. I had no time to wait on a guy in my life so I could have some romantic get away. Nor did I have time to wait on my girls to coordinate schedules. Nope...I was going during my spring break.

 I called a girlfriend who was a travel agent and she booked a moderately priced , all inclusive trip for my spring break for 4 days. Destination .... Playa del Carmen, Mexico. About an hour's drive from Cancun and situated along the Mayan Riviera. I was taking 1 single suitcase....and a positive attitude.


Day 1: Black Dot in White Milk

It all started at the airport...


I hate to fly. I truly do. It texted everyone possible to send up prayer. I had to go get a pre-fli…

Thursday Tunes: Goapele - "Play"

So who is Goapele??? The former dread locked (*weeps*) vocalist from Oakland, CA, is a unique soul singer with a unique story.

 Borne Goapele Mohlabane,Goapele's South African father Douglas Mohlabane was an exiled political activist who struggled against the Apartheid System. Goapele's New York-born Israeli Jewish mother Noa[5] had been attending protests since the age of 12. Noa attended Friends World College and was studying in Nairobi, Kenya, where she met and married Douglas. Goapele and her older brother DJ Namane Mohlabane were raised in a California South African exile community. (Wikipedia, "Goapele")


 Her first album, Even Closer, was on heavy rotation on my CD player (yes..this was before I had an Ipod). Her song was "Closer", a song that really motivated me. Her follow up, "Change it All", feature some nice tracks like First Love".  She is just a positive spirit..in the same vein as India.Arie.


 But this song?? WHEW! Goapele went…