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Showing posts from December, 2009

Adjustments..not Resolutions

The year is drawing to an end. I really DON’T like making “New Year’s Resolutions”. Instead, I’ll just make some “New Year Adjustments” Therefore:

In 2010…

I will finally do something that has held me back from being an adult...which is not give a damn.

I will no longer tolerate the excuse of “I just got busy” with men re: their disappearing acts and lack of communication. I’m sorry...I’m not here for your convenience or entertainment.

I’m taking brothers at face value. You want to “do me”. Fine... let’s cut to the chase so I can decide if ou are worth my time or not. I don’t need the “sweet talk” and altruistic motives if all you want to do is bone. That can be established in 2 conversations.

I will not feign excitement or longing over someone who won’t be excited over me. I won’t act like I miss someone who damn sure didn’t miss me. No...”Miss me?” won’t work. And no...I’m not “excited to hear from you”

Serial texters are OUT. Guys who actually call and want to date me...are IN.

I will not…

What We Can Learn from Strippers

Last night, I went out with a girlfriend and her guy friend to a strip club. It was supposed to be a far larger group outing but it ended up being small. We went to http://www.pinupsatlanta.net which is right around the corner from my house. It’s larger than most strip clubs…and in Atlanta...it’s about as normal as anything to see straight women and couples and friends having a blast at the strip club. The women are sort of secondary to the outing itself. But….they are still there. Ass clapping and boobs shaking all over the place. And in ATL…we get totally naked (which is why we might be the strip club capital of the USA…) I turned down dances with politeness...and some of the girls were really beautiful…others...looked like Gucci Mane… (LOL)…

In my observation of the scantily clad women and their moves…I feel we have a lot to learn from strippers and strip clubs in general. As I sat there swirling in Black and Mild smoke and the scent of Bath and Body Works/Victoria’s Secret Spray…..…

Changing Forward to the Past

As 2009 slowly comes to an end and the holiday season slowly draws to an end, I realize that so much has changed. Yet, is “real” change ever possible…..in regards to forgiveness.

My ex husband and I have come a very, very long way in terms of being cordial and forgiveness. You see, there was a time where I really hated his guts and wanted nothing to do with him. He broke my heart into tiny shards of bloody glass and I didn’t want to even speak to him. He tried to send me text messages..I’d send ones back..cursing. I didn’t want him near me. He sent flowers via my mother and I got so angry I threw them on the ground in front of my apartment (Later, I went back and picked them up…and sat them on my counter..). In other words, I didn’t want to have anything to do with him.

Earlier in the summer, my mother had gotten very ill and was in the hospital. We thought she had a stroke but it was due to improper dialysis. She asked for my ex husband and he came. At the time, I was seeing someone a…

Dating in the Recession: Tips for (and from) Brothers

Although President Obama says that the receission is almost over, times are hard. Everyone is pinching pennies and trying to make things stretch and meet. Especially during this holiday season, the recession can be especially tough. To make matters worse, dating during the recession (coupled with the holidays) makes things especially tough. But it doesn’t have to be that way at all. But trying to tell that to men is like talking to a brick wall.

Recently, I encountered a guy who was in a financial bind. He had been unemployed for some time. I found it strange that I had to pay for my own lunch or suggested any dates . Finally, when he asked to go out again for lunch, he refused to pay and even asked me to contribute my very LAST amount of cash to lunch. I was hurt. I felt like I wasn’t worth the time or effort. He later told me that he was quite ashamed for his behavior , apologized and said he was “barely” making it. I felt horrible yet understood.. Had he just been honest with me, I …

Still Running

One Year Ago Today…


It was a very cold day in Atlanta. The wind was blustery and I wore a brand new red Calvin Klein suit, matching red and black Calvin Klein stiletto pumps, a new attitude and my hair in a high bun. Red is my favorite color-my power color. It made me feel confident and protected. My red Chanel lipstick was the perfect match.

We rode to the courthouse in silence. The tension was palpable but no one wanted to address it. I mean, just a month ago we had signed the papers, had everything notarized and filed it with the court. So quick. 30 days. And I would go from Mrs. back to Ms. What was there to say?

We sat in the courtroom which seemed like forever, with other couples that were getting divorced as well. They seemed to be across all socio-economic backgrounds. But we appeared to be the youngest. He walked out for a while and I feared he wouldn’t come back. (He later told me he had contemplated just walking out. But what could what that have done…he didn’t need to be ther…