Things just don't bother me the way they used to... Case-in-point. I was online reading for class, minding my own business when I received an instant message. "Hey you". I literally had to pause for a second. I saw the screen name and was instantly flooded with so many emotions. Anger. Sadness. Confusion. Disgust. Worthlessness. But most of all... I was all like.."Really dude?" Picture it.... North Carolina..... 2002.... Once upon a time I cared for this dude. And I don't even know why. We met haphazardly one summer.We had one less-than-romantic-mostly-lustful encounter over 10 years ago. When I wanted more he said he was "an asshole" who "just wasn't built for a relationship". Although only being 35-40 minutes from me, he never would visit me again. And despite all of that..we kept in touch off and on ...all through Grad school...even when I was married...even after my divorce. He was the dude who was some ideal ...