Sex and The Southern Belle

“I’m not bitter…I’m just mad as hell” I am not a fan of Tyler Perry at all. In fact, I think Aaron McGruder was pretty spot-on with his social-commentary on the man. But that one line, in Diary of a Mad Black Women , has stuck with me for years. Men are so quick to label a woman bitter and she has “bitter black women syndrome”, is a bitch, or just mean if she isn’t smiling all the time, or putting herself out there for men. In fact, she is just sad, disappointed, and hurt. Now, while I agree that these things can manifest themselves into bitterness, I’d say for the most part that women  are more angry/mad/sad than anything else with “bitterness” being the residual outcome of those things. Residual doesn’t mean encompassing the whole being or spirit of that person. I often get accused of being bitter…a bitch…mean…etc. In fact, I’m quite the opposite. I won’t say I am a ray of sunshine 24/7. Things anger me. And when they do, I am quick to express them in my very quick-tem...

I asked a guy friend of mine (a man I had once been madly attracted to..who I felt was this "ideal" dude..) about what made him choose his latest girlfriend. I was going to use this for a sweet, sugary V-day themed blog. I was anticipating fawning and overall gushing. But…his answer wasn’t what I was quite expecting. Q: I’m working on my blog.....and I wanted to know if you could answer a general question:What’s are the qualities that your girlfriend has that sets her apart from other girls that you dated in the past (i.e. the "i need to lock this down" qualities) ? A: It is interesting you asked that question ... I have come up with two conclusions-- 1) I KNOW she loves me and is fully devoted to me. Not like I’m the center of her universe, because we both have lives outside of our relationship, but more along the lines of I know that I/this relationship is one of her top priorities. She makes most decisions with me/our relationship in mind-- from career choices to...

Last night, I went out with a girlfriend and her guy friend to a strip club. It was supposed to be a far larger group outing but it ended up being small. We went to http://www.pinupsatlanta.net which is right around the corner from my house. It’s larger than most strip clubs…and in Atlanta...it’s about as normal as anything to see straight women and couples and friends having a blast at the strip club. The women are sort of secondary to the outing itself. But….they are still there. Ass clapping and boobs shaking all over the place. And in ATL…we get totally naked (which is why we might be the strip club capital of the USA…) I turned down dances with politeness...and some of the girls were really beautiful…others...looked like Gucci Mane… (LOL)… In my observation of the scantily clad women and their moves…I feel we have a lot to learn from strippers and strip clubs in general. As I sat there swirling in Black and Mild smoke and the scent of Bath and Body Works/Victoria’s Secret Spray…....

In the wake of the recent extramarital affairs and mishaps of Steve McNair, John Edwards, David Letterman, and ESPN’s Steve Phillips’, I think that it may be prudent to write a little “handbook” on how to be a mistress aka a “sideline hoe”. I shall call this mini-book Hoe, Stay In Your MuthaF**king Lane. Now, let me first say I am TOTALLY against cheating. As a divorced woman, I know how that can hurt whether it be emotional or physical. AND..I was confronted w/ the reality of the DUMBEST chicks on earth (LOL). BUT...if you are GONNA be a sideline hoe, there are a few things you need to know. And for the record, I’ve never been ANYBODY’s mistress… but based on observations of friends, my own experiences via family, funny quips from girls on my webgroups (Twitter, Chocolatebrides, Xanga, etc) and the media, here are some tips the HOE needs to follow. 1) You are NOT FIRST Priority - his wife will forever and always be first. He’s NOT leaving her. So get those fantasies out of your head. ...