With my divorce on 9 months behind me, I am sitting here thinking about me and what it means to be single again. What lessons do I need to glean from being married...what lessons can I take with me into being single?
One lesson I learned was to ALWAYS trust your instincts. I had my doubts about things and was very instinctive about them...and without a doubt...they did not fail me. I think instinct is merely God showing you the way....the truth...and the light.
Be specific about WHO it is you want. I think maybe I was too general.........I shoulda been specific about who I wanted as a mate.
I also learned that whoever a person shows you to be....is the absolute truth. You can try and paint a picture in your mind about them...but they already showed you who they are....so...
I also learned that love is not enough. A marriage takes planning, preparation, financial and emotional discipline......and spiritual guidance.
I learned that I am on God's time table. Apparently this all was planned for me to go through......
I know you not only have to be equally yoked spiritually...but financially as well.
I learned that my self-esteem is critical to what I will and will not take in a relationship.....
My own happiness comes before anyone else's...PERIOD.
I deserve the best in everything: respect, time, love, sexual affection, temperament....I deserve nothing but the best. Not because I'm snobby or conceited...but because I am worthy.
I'm not all pumped and amped to be single. I really am not. The GTG I am had right before the divorce was simply to comfort me during this time.... not to get down and party hard...I needed the energy. I needed the support. I can’t stay in my cocoon but for so long.... I got to get the swagger back.
When I was out this weekend shortly after the divorce...I definitely was feeling something. I winked at a dude at the bar.....LMAO! He was like...”hmmm..." LMAO!
I have a lot of challenges ahead of me. I know that there will probably be a second time around for me. How long it will last...or when it will occur...I'm not really sure. But I know I was fashioned to be a good wife and maybe even a good mother.............and one bump in the road isn't going to stop that. I am a beautiful, sexy, and dynamic woman with goals and a good head on my shoulders. I wasn’t fashioned to be married the way that I was in the past....and that is what I know now.
I know that whatever I am going through...is making me stronger. A diamond starts off as a lump of coal...but with time...pressure...and a good amount of patience....they are created brilliant. And I am hoping this is what this teaches me.
I believe in my heart...what God has for me is for me! The righteous are never forsaken....that is for sure. I'm not trying to get preachy...but...it's just true.