Skip to main content

The Direct Approach

On my FB status one day .......I jokingly (well..with a half-truth) say:

Tee is wondering if the direct approach in dating can work.What if saying, "Look.. I'm 30. Been divorced. Got no time to waste.What the hayle you want??"would work? LMAO!

Now..this isn't to say on a first date..I'd just bust out with this stuff. BUT,...If I put my sh*t out there..and get down to the "crust" of a muthaf*cker (as Chris Rock says)...would a dude be able to handle it. Would I weed out the weak and feeble from the strong? Would I be able to see if a man is worth the time and effort? On friends were like " might work". One certain someone said..."Uhm...that ain't gonna work..try again". LMAO! Of course, he was a dude.........

What if, after a few dates (as in..more than 4....), I tell a dude..

"Look...I'm 30. I've been divorced. I know all the games. I dont want my time wasted nor do I want to waste yours. I have no kids but I want them. I want to get remarried and I don't date for "sport". I'm not trying to have a cut-buddy, an FWB, or a jump-off. I got debt but I'm working on it. My credit is not perfect by any means. Family means a lot to me. I want a Ph.D and need a dude to understand my time is precious. I'm 30. I want to be remarried and with a kid ................Yes I'm natural. No I'm not changing my hair. I am comfortable in my skin...can you handle this??"

That is just about the crust and crux of who I am (not toally..but...just the surface) Now..I think a poor dude would probably run for cover OR...he'd play the game till he THOUGHT he had a chance at the booty. I know that game. Read my lips. I KNOW that whether I choose to play or my own discretion. I said before...I just don't want to waste my time.

So...does the direct approach work? Or just scare dudes off?



Popular posts from this blog

2018: A Year Without Fear

I used to make these lofty, resolution goals each year. The older I got, the grander my ideas became. That is until I reached the age of 30 and my entire life shifted.

At the time, I was divorced, living totally on my own, trying to rebuild myself financially and trying to figure out my next move toward happiness. That was at the time I started this blog.... which started out as my chronicling the dating and mating of a 30 something divorcee' in the South's Largest Metropolis. I was trying to date. I was trying to establish myself financially. And I was trying to find my purpose.

So much has changed in the almost 9 years since I started this blog. I've traveled alone. I gained and lost friends. I got into a Ph.D. program. I got re-married. I lost my mother, my best friend.... not to mention my uncle, cousin, and aunt. I gained a sweet baby girl.  I went from getting my bliss.... to trying to balance that bliss with my own life..... Yet in trying to find the balance, I alw…

Frat Boys, Toxic Masculinity and the #METOO Movement

(scene from Spike Lee's famous School Daze)

A few weeks ago, my sorority held its national convention on New Orleans. Coincidently, another fraternity was also holding their national convention in New Orleans. Naturally, the jokes, mostly in jest, played upon the fact that these two groups, full of single, attractive and smart folks would be "on the prowl" and looking to "hook up" in the city known for its strong drinks, Southern heat, and hospitality. It was all jokes until nastiness decided to rear its ugly head.

You had men in the other fraternity sexually harassing and being obscene to my sorority sisters who just wanted to have fun and handle the business of the sorority (and network.. and yes.. meet men in a somewhat safe space).  There were stories of men groping women. Men saying disgusting things and then being like "Well fuck you then" if women rejected them. You would HOPE and think that college-educated men wouldn't act this way.


The Ides of Birthdays

My 39th birthday is in two weeks.
You know, I feel like I write the same type of blog around my birthday every year. I get extremely introspective and pensive about the whole thing. But this is my last year of my 30s and I am feeling all of the feelings that have ever and could be felt. I hate trying to bring this up to folks.. who are always wanting to remind you of "well.. you got this.. you got that...". As if you haven't dealt with depression long enough to realize it doesn't matter what you have... if one piece is missing.. it throws it all off.
While yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my mom's passing, I realized she wouldn't be here for my 40th. That was a hard pill to swallow. I thought for sure we'd be celebrating a lot that year... my Ph.D... a baby... a big, fancy car..... all of that. I only have one of those things so far but still... I was hoping that having her hold on at least until then would be the icing on my cake.
My life feels…