Skip to main content

Brothers and Natural Hair

(BTW...that isn't me! LOL)

As I sit here playing in my locs and basking in their glorious fragrance of the hair oil I use (as I do probably every morning at work for about 15 minutes before I start working. because bullsh*tting is totally my thing....)..

I was just thinking."Why don't more brothers like natural hair?"I don't mean the "Freddie Brooks/Mixed Chick" type of hair...I'm talking straight out the motherland, nappy, bushy, twisted-out,loced-up type of stuff. I think my locs are beautiful...and I personally don't give a damn if a dude isn’t feeling them...because he isn’t the dude for me.

I just hate statements like..."Well...I NORMALLY don't like chicks with natural hair...but it looks good on YOU"...uhm...I'm just wearing my hair (with a little manipulation via some hair color and loc-maintanence....which is purely aesthetic) the way God had it grow out my damn scalp! What's so wrong about that?

I think brothers in general have a love/hate relationship with natural hair. On one end...they want a sista....but then again. They aren’t trying to deal with the "sista" issues: We can’t go out and get our hair all wet...we got to sleep in a hair scarf most times....etc. That isn’t sexy. So what do they do...go for the chicks who are JUST enough of a sista (big booty, lips, etc.) to not be clowned on... (Minus the nappy hair....). I guess brothers have fed into the notion that they too want to run their fingers through your hair. can still do that...even if a girl doesn't have a perm...or naturally wavy hair...etc. It's still sexy....We can get it wet too...but don't be mad if a girl is like..."'s gonna take me 2 hrs to get it back right....."

I know about oh.....3 dudes total...who LOVE the sistas with natural hair! One of my friends totally has a thing for bad! LMAO! I think that's wonderful. I am not knocking a brother who just says "that isn’t his thing”. But I mean really.....what's the harm? A woman can be just as classy, formal, etc with natural hair as a woman with a perm/"good hair" has............that's all I'm saying. I think the sexiness of natural hair is...that a woman has to have confidence to pull it off...and if you are confident...that truly exudes some kind of sex appeal....

So I say to brothers............don't fear the nappy hair. Embrace it. Love it. Caress if (if she'll let you...LOL...cause uhm...we can be sensitive like that esp. after we done spent hours in the damn salon getting it braided, flat-ironed, etc...LMAO!). There is a nice sex appeal to natural hair........

*flips locs back*


  1. It's too bad that (some) brothas don't have a greater appreciation for natural beauty. It really is. I mean, we know what it dates back to, of course.

    Derek is guilty of the same. The "longer and silkier" my hair, the more he loves it. *smh* Tsk.

  2. Most white men prefer black women with natural hair. My DH likes it when I wear it curly over blow dried and flat ironed. Probably because I allow him to play with the curls.

  3. amen, amen, amen to this post!!! but quietly, black women hate on natural hair just as much, if not more, than black we need to start looking at ourselves. but ofcourse, i'm preaching to the choir....

  4. The term "good hair" is so overrated! I absolutely HATE when people use that word...


  5. DarkSkinLady8/11/09, 5:58 PM

    Hmm, I've never had a guy say he isnt into locs. I dont know, I can always spot when someone if feeling me. I kinda know who I will or wont get a response from. But I totally agree that our brothas need to embrace the loc'd sistas a little more. And yes, we can make them look just as fly as permed hair!

  6. I like a woman that is foine and sexy and good to me. If she look good. She look good - Locks, dreds, afro whatever. I don't have a preference.
    I'll take Angela basset or Halle Berry.
    Light or Dark; Permed or kinked.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2018: A Year Without Fear

I used to make these lofty, resolution goals each year. The older I got, the grander my ideas became. That is until I reached the age of 30 and my entire life shifted.

At the time, I was divorced, living totally on my own, trying to rebuild myself financially and trying to figure out my next move toward happiness. That was at the time I started this blog.... which started out as my chronicling the dating and mating of a 30 something divorcee' in the South's Largest Metropolis. I was trying to date. I was trying to establish myself financially. And I was trying to find my purpose.

So much has changed in the almost 9 years since I started this blog. I've traveled alone. I gained and lost friends. I got into a Ph.D. program. I got re-married. I lost my mother, my best friend.... not to mention my uncle, cousin, and aunt. I gained a sweet baby girl.  I went from getting my bliss.... to trying to balance that bliss with my own life..... Yet in trying to find the balance, I alw…

Frat Boys, Toxic Masculinity and the #METOO Movement

(scene from Spike Lee's famous School Daze)

A few weeks ago, my sorority held its national convention on New Orleans. Coincidently, another fraternity was also holding their national convention in New Orleans. Naturally, the jokes, mostly in jest, played upon the fact that these two groups, full of single, attractive and smart folks would be "on the prowl" and looking to "hook up" in the city known for its strong drinks, Southern heat, and hospitality. It was all jokes until nastiness decided to rear its ugly head.

You had men in the other fraternity sexually harassing and being obscene to my sorority sisters who just wanted to have fun and handle the business of the sorority (and network.. and yes.. meet men in a somewhat safe space).  There were stories of men groping women. Men saying disgusting things and then being like "Well fuck you then" if women rejected them. You would HOPE and think that college-educated men wouldn't act this way.


The Ides of Birthdays

My 39th birthday is in two weeks.
You know, I feel like I write the same type of blog around my birthday every year. I get extremely introspective and pensive about the whole thing. But this is my last year of my 30s and I am feeling all of the feelings that have ever and could be felt. I hate trying to bring this up to folks.. who are always wanting to remind you of "well.. you got this.. you got that...". As if you haven't dealt with depression long enough to realize it doesn't matter what you have... if one piece is missing.. it throws it all off.
While yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my mom's passing, I realized she wouldn't be here for my 40th. That was a hard pill to swallow. I thought for sure we'd be celebrating a lot that year... my Ph.D... a baby... a big, fancy car..... all of that. I only have one of those things so far but still... I was hoping that having her hold on at least until then would be the icing on my cake.
My life feels…