Skip to main content

Abso-f**king-lutely, Tee!

*that was certainly for my girl Samantha Jones*

This is my very first “public” blog and it calls for a sort of, “re-introduction” of me to the masses. You see, I’ve blogged for MANY years under the protection of moderated friend’s list, protected postings, and the ability to “regulate’ who gets to read me…
Now…I’m willing to be open and share my story to the world! (or at least this corner of the Web!)

Wait...where are my manners? Hello there!! *waves*. My name is…well…my name’s not important. Just call me “Tee”. (Trust me…that’s much easier to remember than my first name and furthermore; this blog is going to be chock-full of code names and such that you won’t be able to keep up with MY name let alone someone else’s). But as I said, my name is Tee…and I am probably going to be the most interesting person you read on the web!

I know that it sounds like I’m bragging…but I’m not. Let’s just say that I am promising to you, faithful reader, to make this interesting. Now what I won’t promise is that you won’t stop laughing, crying, yelling or screaming at me via your 17” MACbook screen! Hell, at least that’s what my friends tell me when I shared stuff with them on my other blog….

Anyway..where to begin?? *ponders* I guess from the beginning...

I’m a Southern girl through and through. I’m thicker than cornbread and sweeter than Sweet Tea (Ooh...I need to get some sugar! That reminds me….LOL). I was born and raised in the South’s best city: Atlanta. (Well, Decatur if you want to be exact and knit-picky which you do! Ugh...I hate when people ask me “so WHAT part of Alanta are you from? And when I say “Decatur”...they frown like I just said “War Torn Somalia). I was always a bit of a nerdy girl and was in gifted and accelerated programs all my life. I graduated Magna cum Laude from a great HBCU. I joined a sorority which I adore. I have a Master’s degree (and hopefully with a little luck and push become Dr. Tee) I surround myself with good friends (or at least try to...although I am still on a search for a CLOSE girlfriend…and a gay husband…in ATL...that shouldn’t be hard…but somehow it is). Anyway, I am the baby of the family. I have an older brother who is just FABULOUS! *snaps*(Yeah he’s gay! maybe HE’S my gay husband! ) and I have a mother whom I adore... Now she is my best friend and a little trooper (more on mother later). My father…eh…we will cross that bridge if necessary. BUT…my parents are still alive and kicking and in this age…still married. I’m a fabulous cook and collect cookbooks. I a m the bargain fashionista and will tear up a Ross, TJ Maxx, DSW, and Marshall’s (Oh..and AJ Wright) on any given weekend. I have this weird obsession with boy-shorts and stilettos. Every time I go shopping...I pick them up! So weird! I am obsessed with my hair (I have reddish-brown colored locs that flow to the middle of my back) and I am really into working out (Ok so...I slack sometimes but eventually I kick myself in gear and knock off the 10 or so I might fluctuate between)...

Lord…I’m rambling….let’s get serious!

This year certainly has been a milestone year for me!

I turned 30 years old

I had a 5 year anniversary at my job ( what I like to call “The Plantation” ) AND 5 years of growing my locs!

I celebrated 1 year of keeping off the 45 lbs that I lost the previous year.


I got divorced.

No don’t go-a-crying for me, Argentina! Actually, I got divorced December 1, 2008 (but for all practical purposes…it was so close to January…ya know? So I guess I got divorced as a New Year’s Present!) I loved my ex-husband (aka the WASband) very much. I will always love him. But we grew apart (and he started doing stupid shit). After 6 years of being together and 2.5 years of marriage, I ended up resenting him. He did some pretty foul things: ruined my credit, didn’t want to work, cheated on me with BIG FAT broads, and basically misrepresented himself. It took a while but I am learning to be friends with him and be cordial. We can actually sit at dinner and not curse at each other (although, really, it never got that bad). I still think about our wedding and how great it was. How spiritually uplifting it was and how it gave so many hope. Many a person got engaged and babies were conceived on our wedding day…but we couldn’t make the love last. That part I feel bad about...but…divorce happens to the best of people with the best intentions.

Getting divorced AND turning 30 the same year can rock most women to their core. Not me. I am not most women. I was born of “strong stuff” as the African elders say. I stand on the shoulders of some very resilient, no-nonsense, practical women. If it doesn’t work, you move the hell on. I’ve seen many a woman in my family dust themselves off, pick themselves up, and keep it pushing after the loss of a husband (via death or through divorce). In many ways, divorce is like death. There is a mourning period after the initial shock of the loss. Then there is a “coping period”, where you act out and do outrageous things. And finally, there is an “acceptance” period, where you are finally at peace with things and can move on.

I think right now I am somewhere between “coping” and “acceptance”- a sort of “post-divorce” purgatory if you will. I will admit, after my divorce, I was a total mess. The “mourning period” is something that I purposely tried to skip over. I cried for all of a week. THEN...I threw myself a “divorce party” (which was fabulous) and burned things and purged. So in a way, I mourned but not in a traditional sense. It was important to have a sister-circle around me then. Not to bash the WASband, but to just support me. As a black woman, that is so important. It is in our nature. Then came the “coping “period. OMG! What self-destructive crap I did! I shopped all the time...every weekend I was at a sale or something (but at least I replenished a measly wardrobe). I threw myself into working out. I stayed long hours at work because “there was no need to rush home”. And the most ridiculous thing- I started to date again. Oh it was far too soon! And I knew it! But I did it anyway. I encountered some interesting characters. Dudes who were “ambiguous”. Married Men. Men with far too many obligations and hang-ups. A cast of characters, indeed (and lord, Dating in ATLANTA is another subject in itself…) But…we will come to that later..MUCH later.

Although I am divorced, this blog won’t b about divorce or being a divorced 30 year old smoking hot black woman. *wink*. What this blog will be about is my new focus. What I will say is that the divorce gave me drive and motivation and a renewed energy. Life goes on... and I have to live my life. So , with that said, this blog will definitely be about my new life as a single woman, the dating and mating and other foolishness that comes with that (especially in Atlanta), and all of the new things going on in my life.. (i.e. trying to pursue a PhD, possibly living abroad, maybe getting remarried, my biological clock, experiencing new things, travel, etc…..)
Oh and of course….dating and sex….. ( I said that already, right? LOL). I mean...this blog is called “Sex and the Southern Belle”...but as any true Belle would tell you…this won’t ONLY be about sex (and I am certainly not going to open my sex life to strangers on the web……) But..the name was catchy. A throwback and homage to Helen Gurley Brown’s “Sex and the Single Girl” (the predecessor for Sex and the City)… Nevertheless…I am a Southern Belle and well…I do have sex (sometimes incredible sex…but I digress… LMAO!) .

Ok... I won’t bombard you all any longer!! So...just stay tuned!

*Smooches, ya’ll!!! *


  1. Omg!!! I looooved this first post!!! I read (and hung on to) every single freaking word!!! Awesome summary/recap of the fascinating (and fabulous) world that is your life.

    Im so glad you've created this fresh blog.... a new beginning is always exciting!!! And of course, as always, i'll continue to support you on the "other" blog. :-)

    Muchas Smoochas!!! X♥X♥

  2. Very NICE read!

  3. I agree, good read!

  4. that profile pic is soooo cute. very elusive and sexy and sweet at the same time. *does similar pose in the mirror...nah, didnt work for me, LOL!*

    what a refreshing first post.

  5. Good read. You appear well rounded. No question about that. Very smart and intelligent and interesting. Driven.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2018: A Year Without Fear

I used to make these lofty, resolution goals each year. The older I got, the grander my ideas became. That is until I reached the age of 30 and my entire life shifted.

At the time, I was divorced, living totally on my own, trying to rebuild myself financially and trying to figure out my next move toward happiness. That was at the time I started this blog.... which started out as my chronicling the dating and mating of a 30 something divorcee' in the South's Largest Metropolis. I was trying to date. I was trying to establish myself financially. And I was trying to find my purpose.

So much has changed in the almost 9 years since I started this blog. I've traveled alone. I gained and lost friends. I got into a Ph.D. program. I got re-married. I lost my mother, my best friend.... not to mention my uncle, cousin, and aunt. I gained a sweet baby girl.  I went from getting my bliss.... to trying to balance that bliss with my own life..... Yet in trying to find the balance, I alw…

Frat Boys, Toxic Masculinity and the #METOO Movement

(scene from Spike Lee's famous School Daze)

A few weeks ago, my sorority held its national convention on New Orleans. Coincidently, another fraternity was also holding their national convention in New Orleans. Naturally, the jokes, mostly in jest, played upon the fact that these two groups, full of single, attractive and smart folks would be "on the prowl" and looking to "hook up" in the city known for its strong drinks, Southern heat, and hospitality. It was all jokes until nastiness decided to rear its ugly head.

You had men in the other fraternity sexually harassing and being obscene to my sorority sisters who just wanted to have fun and handle the business of the sorority (and network.. and yes.. meet men in a somewhat safe space).  There were stories of men groping women. Men saying disgusting things and then being like "Well fuck you then" if women rejected them. You would HOPE and think that college-educated men wouldn't act this way.


The Ides of Birthdays

My 39th birthday is in two weeks.
You know, I feel like I write the same type of blog around my birthday every year. I get extremely introspective and pensive about the whole thing. But this is my last year of my 30s and I am feeling all of the feelings that have ever and could be felt. I hate trying to bring this up to folks.. who are always wanting to remind you of "well.. you got this.. you got that...". As if you haven't dealt with depression long enough to realize it doesn't matter what you have... if one piece is missing.. it throws it all off.
While yesterday was the 3rd anniversary of my mom's passing, I realized she wouldn't be here for my 40th. That was a hard pill to swallow. I thought for sure we'd be celebrating a lot that year... my Ph.D... a baby... a big, fancy car..... all of that. I only have one of those things so far but still... I was hoping that having her hold on at least until then would be the icing on my cake.
My life feels…