September 5, 2011

Hope in a Box

"That night, Charlotte got out her wish box where she kept reminders of all the things she hoped for in life. A gift for Shayla. A town house in the city, a beach house in East Hampton. Her dream man. Her backup dream man.. It’s very strange when the life you never had flashes before your eyes…"- Sex and the City

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Not sure if anyone remembers that early episode of Sex and the City. Carrie and the gals went to a baby shower of a friend who, coincidentally, had stolen the baby name that Charlotte wanted for her "future kid". Charlotte was hurt.... Later that night....Charlotte went into her wish box perusing items.

I was not one forr very "hokey" things such as wish boxes and etc. But I decided to be more "proactive in my positivity" and a girlfriend of mine decided we would have "wish boxes" where we would put in items and things that we hope for.

My journey to the wish box was a long and ardious process. First off, it started with me hunting for the actual box. I wanted something that was practical and me...something I could slide under my bed....something that was girly and cute. I eventually found a floral baby blue and brown box (which also matched my room decor) that had a silky brown ribbon at Marshalls.  That Saturday, I bought it right away, for a nominal price of $8, and went to work on my project.

I went about the business of filling it with things.  This was sorta tough...but I didn't want it too crowded or filled with unnecessary things. Just trivial items with no meaning...so I sat and looked around my room.

I filled it with lingerie I wanted to wear on the "special night" with someone...special things I feel like only HE would love. Frilly things. Sexy things. Daring things...."Wedding White" things...

I filled with with pictures of places I wanted to travel to: Australia, London, Ghana, Toronto, Anguilla, St. Lucia....so many places...

I filled it with pics of guys I felt were my "dream guy". Some real. Some celebrity. Somehow I'd get an amalgamation of them all.

There was one singular baby outfit and my own receiving blanket I got from my mother..

I filled it with a picture of the engagement ring I wanted. Surprsingly..I could probably by it for myself. Just as a regular ring...it's not pricey. But it's what I want..

I filled it with fitness idols..pics of women liek Janet Jackson who have bodies I wanna work hard for.

I filled it with a few other odds and ends, even an empty picture frame where I would hope I'd have a pic of me and my love in it.....

I put in a copy of the Bible I got as a kid...

Afte it was all said and done...I had a pretty good collection of things...except...

Where was the personalization? Where was the spirit??

I sat and pulled out a few sheets of paper. I tried to write but balled up the pages. I finally pulled out my laptop and started to type. I wrote letter after letter., Tears were streaming down my face...

I wrote a letter to my unborn child...I wrote one for a girl...one for a boy...I wrote letters to my "intended mate"...my hopes and dreams for us....my desires to be the kind of wife I failed to be in my first marriage. I wrote about what I felt like things would be like. Not an idealized view...the good and the bad. I prayed that he was praying for me as I was him...I hoped that he would forgive me for being impefect...but that I was perfect for them....

Finally, I wrote a letter to myself. I forgave myself for my past. I wrote down what I wanted to be..my goals..my desires...to actually think of them is one thing...but to verbalize is to really put it in the atomosphere.

I printed out the letters and realized that my little wish box was overflowing. Maybe I needed a bigger box.  Or maybe I need to take some stuff out. As soon as I was going to remove some things...it hit me...

Never say your dreams won't fit in your life. You will be pressed down..shaken together..and running over with God's blessings.  Maybe you to  need to make sure have a "bigger life"...or a bigger "spirit"  to fill it up with all the dreams...not smaller dreams.

I smiled and just stuffed everything in the box. This was a good starter.......


...I'll just get a bigger box next month.

2 comments:

  1. So this is like a vision board but in a box and a journal as far as the letters. I want to visit Anguilla and St Lucia (just saw the rainforest spa on the travel channel yesterday it was BEAUTIFUL). I did a vision board last yr and again this yr. I may do the box in Jan.

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  2. I love this! All the things you put inside are perfect. I really like that you personalized it with the letters.

    Of course I remember that episode of SATC! I was sad when that woman took Charlotte's name. Aww! lol

    I had a Hope Chest as well, when I lived at LIU. Inside I had some of my favorite childhood storybooks (I had found them on ebay and ordered them). I had a gorgeous, white nightie that I wanted to wear if I had a honeymoon, and also I found the perfect diaper bag at Marshall's that I knew would be perfect for me when I one day had a baby.

    And I've since used that diaper bag with both boys! The books are in their library. :-)

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