May 26, 2010

The Happy Divorcee

So upon encouragement of a friend (who also offered to pay for a month of service), I reactivated my Match.com profile. Now if you have been reading this blog for the past oh, year or so, you know that I really have not had the best luck in the world of internet dating. BUT...I decided to have a more positive attitude about my love life, to let go, and just have fun. Beside's..it is almost Memorial Day and the "Summer Boo" program is still in effect!

Well, I did a little revamping to my profile, added a few fun and cheery pictures (to reflect my otherwise cheery disposition! LOL), and changed a few key words. My profile heading was "Recent Divorcee looking for Something New (But MUST love Football)."   I let my close friends on my private blog (Oh wait..you thought THIS was my only blog? Ha! LMAO!) view my profile, let me know what they thought,  and check out a few cuties that caught my eye. Most of my friends loved it and  I got pretty good feedback. Until, one of my friends said "I would like to request you change that profile pic on match.com! It's not your best picture and you have some ADORABLE pics!!!! Secondly, I would remove recent divorcee --- it screams POTENTIALLY BITTER"

Say what??? Now I totally respect my friend. She meant absolutely no harm. But.. I mean, I know sometimes I use my blog(s) as a sounding board to voice my  frustrations, wants, needs and etc. But surely I don't think saying "divorcee" sounds bitter. If anything, it's just stating the obvious. Well..I am divorced and it was recent. LMAO! I just don't feel the need to lie to a cat up front (even IF most of them are lying in some way, shape or form....LOL). But being divorced is a big part of who I am although it doesn't define me. BUT at this moment, it is my right now. I am a divorcee. Besides, the
Desperate Housewives make divorcee look pretty damn sexy. LMAO!

As for the main profile picture, every picture I posted was of me smiling. My pain pictures was of me, perfect cheekbones and all, almond eyes and big wide toothy smile that I felt was warm, inviting and said "Hey...I'm a fun chick DESPITE being divorced".

I sat here scratching my head on this one. And I think in general, people have some sort of preconceived notion about divorcees- bitter, jaded, man-hating. And while I admit that we all go through those phases, that isnt your modern, typical divorcee 24/7. We are just as fun-loving, warm, and optimistic as anyone else (as any single chica). We put on our makeup, stillettos, and freak-em dress and keep it pushing. I will say we do come with some preconcieved notions about  marriage but that's to be expected. We know what we will take and what we won't. I certainly wouldn't call it "potentially bitter". We have experience, that's all.

I've only gotten about 5 rejections thus far on Match and honestly I think it's more about me being "black" than it is about me being divorced. (Rejected by an Indian dude and some  black dudes whos profiles DID NOT list Black/African descent as a compatible mate...*shrug* although I found them attractive) . I'm sure there will be other rejections but that's part of the deal.



I did take her advice and changed my heading: Happy, Fun-Loving Divorcee' Looking for her "Something New" (but MUST love Football ;) )

After that slight alteration....I have 3 potential positive matches...and 3 potential opportunities to dust my stillettos off!

Something must be going right, huh? Divorcee's are pretty damn sexy!


*wink*

2 comments:

  1. You know, i honestly dont see anything wrong with having divorcee' in the title, but i must say i do like the way you revised it a LOT. That sounds cute, fun, and flirty, but it's also direct and honest.

    Good luck with the Match.com profile! Very cool - glad you're giving it a chance. I remember I had tried that briefly, but i had signed up around the same time as BlackPeopleMeet.com.... and i got lucky on there first. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Please keep us updated. I have not had ANY luck e-dating but am still willing to give it a try.

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