I've been asked to do a "Ask a Woman" counterpart to my "Ask a Man" questions. Our first question comes from AJ . He wants to know "Women seem to go for style over substance every time. Explain to me why you always go for the "bad” guy (style) as opposed to the” good” guy (substance)? And when they say they w...ant a good guy and find him..they still end up going for a bad guy?"
Ladies..thoughts?
Candi
I don't think it's true that women go for the "bad" guy every time. I haven't been with a bad guy, so I can't fully speak for these women who do this. However, if I had to guess, maybe they're looking for adventure and the "good" guy doesn't offer them that, or maybe they have a complex which draws them to bad guys. Maybe they feel they don't deserve a good guy. I don't know...just my thoughts.
8 hours ago ·
Mocha
Guess I'll answer. Women like bad guys for the sense of "adventure" they bring..often wild and spontaneous which women find sexy. Sometimes the nice guys are boring to women. Furthermore.. Many dudes who hail themselves as "nice guys" aren't all that nice themselves. *shrug*. And think because "oh I'm single..black..no drama.. Etc" women ought ... See Moreflock to me. Wrong! Depends on your humility and personality. I have my own personal preference but most women (not all) like a sense of wild,uninhibited instability (lol). I dunno why.. They just do! Maybe it's biological (hunters vs nurturers)
8 hours ago ·
Gee
Good point there...having had my share of both I will say that while I like the dependability of the good boy, I also like the excitement of the bad boy. I agree with you as well Mocha that some of the so-called good boys really aren't that good once you start peeling back the layers. I don't want a truly BAD boy, but neither do I want a shrinking wallflower either.
8 hours ago ·
AJ (Man)
I've seen the "Moth to the Flame burned by the fire (c) Janet Jackson" too many times. I have a couple of female friends who can't stay away from the bad guy.
8 hours ago ·
Mocha
I got an even simplier answer: the sex is good. *shrug*. (Hey.. Some women love the thug lovin")
7 hours ago ·
Nell
I can only speak for myself. I have had my share of "bad " guys and a few "good" guys as well. In agreement with what was said before, I know I loved the thrill and excitement of the bad but appreciated the sincerity of the good. In the end, the good became mundane and routine and there was no excitement left. To me, I think a relationship can use ... See Morea jolt every now and then and for me, the bad ones seemed to bring that jolt. Granted, I swear I have a magnet for drama and bad guys, but I still appreciate the good when the come around. The only bad thing for me is that I will get bored with them and more then likely create drama just to keep things exciting. That takes too much energy. LOL.
7 hours ago ·
AJ
For Guys: That crazy chick maybe "datfye" but there is no way on the relationship tip
7 hours ago ·
Mocha
U sure about that? I know too many dudes staying in god awful and crazy relationships cause the chick "gives it good". (I would call em out but I'm not that cold...lol)
4 hours ago ·
AJ
They must be married, older and them chicks gotta be on some Halle Berry status. Not the kid....
4 hours ago ·
Mocha
Naw not married.. I think they just generally like unhealthy drama-filled relationships..or the skills are just that good! *shrug*
4 hours ago ·
AJ
I'm for the former. I got peeps who are the same way. Luvs the drama-chicks. Give me a cool fun caring sista in a nice frame. I'm working with sumsumin
Ru
Dr. Jean Gray: Girls flirt with the dangerous guy; they dont bring him home. They marry the good guy
Mocha
What RU Said! *nodding head*
Ladies..thoughts?
Candi
I don't think it's true that women go for the "bad" guy every time. I haven't been with a bad guy, so I can't fully speak for these women who do this. However, if I had to guess, maybe they're looking for adventure and the "good" guy doesn't offer them that, or maybe they have a complex which draws them to bad guys. Maybe they feel they don't deserve a good guy. I don't know...just my thoughts.
8 hours ago ·
Mocha
Guess I'll answer. Women like bad guys for the sense of "adventure" they bring..often wild and spontaneous which women find sexy. Sometimes the nice guys are boring to women. Furthermore.. Many dudes who hail themselves as "nice guys" aren't all that nice themselves. *shrug*. And think because "oh I'm single..black..no drama.. Etc" women ought ... See Moreflock to me. Wrong! Depends on your humility and personality. I have my own personal preference but most women (not all) like a sense of wild,uninhibited instability (lol). I dunno why.. They just do! Maybe it's biological (hunters vs nurturers)
8 hours ago ·
Gee
Good point there...having had my share of both I will say that while I like the dependability of the good boy, I also like the excitement of the bad boy. I agree with you as well Mocha that some of the so-called good boys really aren't that good once you start peeling back the layers. I don't want a truly BAD boy, but neither do I want a shrinking wallflower either.
8 hours ago ·
AJ (Man)
I've seen the "Moth to the Flame burned by the fire (c) Janet Jackson" too many times. I have a couple of female friends who can't stay away from the bad guy.
8 hours ago ·
Mocha
I got an even simplier answer: the sex is good. *shrug*. (Hey.. Some women love the thug lovin")
7 hours ago ·
Nell
I can only speak for myself. I have had my share of "bad " guys and a few "good" guys as well. In agreement with what was said before, I know I loved the thrill and excitement of the bad but appreciated the sincerity of the good. In the end, the good became mundane and routine and there was no excitement left. To me, I think a relationship can use ... See Morea jolt every now and then and for me, the bad ones seemed to bring that jolt. Granted, I swear I have a magnet for drama and bad guys, but I still appreciate the good when the come around. The only bad thing for me is that I will get bored with them and more then likely create drama just to keep things exciting. That takes too much energy. LOL.
7 hours ago ·
AJ
For Guys: That crazy chick maybe "datfye" but there is no way on the relationship tip
7 hours ago ·
Mocha
U sure about that? I know too many dudes staying in god awful and crazy relationships cause the chick "gives it good". (I would call em out but I'm not that cold...lol)
4 hours ago ·
AJ
They must be married, older and them chicks gotta be on some Halle Berry status. Not the kid....
4 hours ago ·
Mocha
Naw not married.. I think they just generally like unhealthy drama-filled relationships..or the skills are just that good! *shrug*
4 hours ago ·
AJ
I'm for the former. I got peeps who are the same way. Luvs the drama-chicks. Give me a cool fun caring sista in a nice frame. I'm working with sumsumin
Ru
Dr. Jean Gray: Girls flirt with the dangerous guy; they dont bring him home. They marry the good guy
Mocha
What RU Said! *nodding head*
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