My Bollywood Sex Nightmare

Let me talk a little about my neighbors.my upstairs neighbors that is. And how they are driving me to drink.

I live in a pretty diverse side of ATL. My neighborhood is full of mainly people of the above ethnicities. My apartment complex is near a variety of Sari stores, Paki grocery stores, a Hindu temple (at least I THINK it’s Hindu) and above all else, the international farmer’s market that stays packed. So. I guess that’s what attracts these ethnic groups to my area. Most of all, it’s a quiet, relatively inexpensive, and eclectic part of town.

My neighbors are a young Indo-Paki-Bangladeshi-Iranian-Arab…. (As you can see, I don’t even know their exact ethnicity) couple. They must be newlyweds. They moved in about a year ago. Up until that time, I had enjoyed a relatively quiet existence in Building 4. My other neighbor to the right is an elderly Asian man who is sweet and speaks often. To the left…a model apartment that only gets occasionally used for short-term leases. And I def don’t hear the neighbors across the hall, who are a really large Indo-Paki-Something or Other family. Needless to say, when the neighbors above moved in, I was thrown into some sort of Bollywood Sex Nightmare (lol).

They keep up a LOT of noise. I mean walking mad hard and even running at one point. I’ve had to invest in a new broom because I beat my ceilings so furiously to get them to shut the fuck up. They had parents over one day and it was like a friggin Big Phat Bolly Wedding or something. I was yelling to the top of my lungs, shouting from below on my patio. They had kept up such a ruckus, that I had to report them to my leasing office. Yeah.. it was that bad.

As I was visiting a friend in an adjacent building, coming down the steps, I saw the couple above me (who keep their damn patio doors WIDE OPEN all times of the year) making out quite vigorously on the couch. I mean he was sucking serious face. I just rolled my eyes.and proceeded to head into the building.

But the worst thing about my neighbors is their Bollywood-themed Sex they are always having. I understand they are newlyweds. I understand that they are gonna fuck like rabbits. But cmon now! Do you have to ALWAYS have a theme song when you screw! Here I am, lying in bed, reading a book quietly, and all of a sudden, I am hearing some kinda Aishwarya Rai-themed musical…and the woman yelling and screaming in sheer agony, like her husband is tearing her a new one. Their bedroom is RIGHT above mine, and they are going at it, the bed is shaking so furiously, I swear the paint is chipping off my ceiling. I try and roll over or even put on my ipod.but it’s like I’m hearing “Yayayayayayaya” in that shrill, high-pitched voice or something the whole time. Does it help him keep his stroke count or something? WTF! Just weird. Then I hear all these thumps and bumps..and then another shrill Bollywood tune. I’m living a nightmare…a Bollywood Sex Nightmare. It's not even a GOOD sounding sexy time...just a shrill, odd sexual soundtrack of Bollywood Foolishness.

We’ve been snowed/iced in in ATL for about 3  4 days now. So of course, these bamas have been fucking like crazy. And of course, I hear the Bollywood music. I can’t even enjoy this impromptu vacation! I wouldn’t be surprised if by next Spring there is a little one running around up there..adding to my frustrations even more…

(*sigh* if I had some competition, I could drown them out no doubt but uhm…that aint happening.).

But payback is a b*tch! I can’t wait!!!! Trust and BELIEVE, Imma really frustrate the hell out of them if I get some steady, strong and mighty D….

*rubs hands together and does an evil, menacing laugh*


In the meantime, I guess I’ll just do some belly dancing and lose some weight when I hear ‘em. *shrug*