This clip right here, her take on relationships, made me think....
She was disgusted at the thought of "compromise" just because a man came into her life. She said "Stupid"...I think her laugh made me laugh just as hard..because the thought was so absurd to her....she threw her head back and guffawed so loudly.
So is she right?? To love means never having to compromise?
"Falling in love...being in love..what is there to compromise??"
When she said that, it was as if an light bulb came on for me. If someone truly loved you, they would like you..faults and all. All the dirt, grime and things you experienced make you who you are. I've been in too many relationships where I compromised myself. I changed my usually outspoken nature. I changed how I dressed to make the guy feel comfortable. I even changed my hair...NO MORE! Long gone are those days.. Someone who truly loved you, wouldn't want you to compromise for them. Love, they say is about give and take. But if you give up everything about yourself, and the other person gives up nothing, where is the love in that? Who wants to be an empty shell of a person.
"A relationship is a relationship that has to be earned...not to be compromised for"
I think a lot of times we take for granted that relationships are close, interpersonal things. You are inviting a person in your space. You can't let any and every person in that space; therefore a person has to earn the right to be there. It's special. YOU are special. Why would you want to compromise that??? How many of us have the balls to tell someone "Look...I'm worth earning, dammit! I'm not some lottery scratch off you take your chance with...I'm a like a 401K..you have to put in..and invest to see the growth" ? I don't think many of us...especially when it comes to love. If you have to earn my love, learn my love language, and take the time doing so, why on earth would you want to have the person to be compromised? Spiritually? Emotionally? Physically? OR you compromise yourself?
"I fall in love with myself..and I want someone to share me with me...."
Learning to love yourself, is the greatest love of all (at least that's what Whitney Houston sang...). If you find yourself wonderfully and fearfully made, then why not want to share that with someone. YEs..I love myself enough to know that I am worth sharing. I love myself enough to know I'm not worth being compromised.. I love myself enough to know I'm worth being EARNED. T0 know me is to love me as much as I love myself...and that's a hell of a whole lot.. So why not "share me with me"? To share means you aren't giving yourself away totally..ergo...there is no compromise when it comes to you! Love should be lavish, rich and decadent, and you should be lavished upon....
Dear Eartha...I love you....I thank you for this tremendously! Your unabashed delivery ministered to my soul...