The movie that defined a new generation of black men and women : Generation X, neo-soul retro New Negros.... Educated in Franz Fanon , Al Green, Malcolm X, and bell hooks. Eating turkey bacon and having brunch. Brown sugar babies. Brown skinned dapper dudes . Going to pretentious poetry spots, drinking dark liquor on ice and quoting Eldridge Cleaver and Maya Angelou while puffing on a L...on some new age philosophy which wasn't new at all. Black power, civil rights, and women's liberation- fed children.... At the cusp of the new millennium .
Love jones. Period.
The movie that defined me. Late teens/early 20s. Single handily my favorite movie of all time. How many times have I watched it? At Least 200. And that is no exaggeration .
I wanted to be Nina . I wanted to live in a fly ass loft. I wanted to be brown and glowing . I wanted to be sexy with a camera. I wanted to be so fly men were powerless around me. I wanted my stuff to be so good that dudes made cheese omelets in the morning. I wanted to smoke in dim clubs and kiss in the rain.
It wasn't about Nina though ....
But that damn Darius...
I wanted Darius to make poems about me on the spot. For his dick to talk to me. To run an Amtrak train platform looking for me. To grind on him in a reggae club. To go bananas and throw a typewriter because he's lost without me. I'd be his muse... To instantly connect with his friends. For me to be urgent to him ... Urgent than a muthafucker.
The ultimate romance complete with complication and subtlety .
And since I was 18 I've been looking for Darius Lovehall.
Where is he? I've come close. So close. Dated a few. Fell in infatuation with some. Hell, I even thought I married him. Well read, well bred , fly and smooth as silk brothers. The romantics but not romantic in that Eurocentric kind of way . Black folks romantic. Practical romance. But with an epic soundtrack .
I'm almost 33. For 15 years Darius has alluded me. Real love has alluded me. Dashed in and out but never stayed. I tried to not love those kind but I can't help it. My own personal aesthetic won't allow me to be matched with anything less. I need a "Darius".
This isn't to say I'm running around looking for a movie character or Larenz Tate himself. Oh no. Darius is symbolic. Darius is the epitome of black man swag (for lack of a better word) for my generation. And I don't think the Darius model is passé . My mother had Billy Dee Williams in "Mahogany". Hell ... My daddy worshiped at the shrine of Billy Dee flyness. That's how he got my mom. My generation... It's Darius. Billy Dee became Darius Lovehall.
But where is he??
I wonder when the search for my Darius will grow old . Am I going to get tired and realize he's just a figment of my teenage imagination . That he's just a character and there are no real brothers out there even close....
But Darius's words ring in my ears...
" Romance is about the possibility of things. You see it's about the time between when you first meet some fine ass woman and when you first make love to her. And when you first ask a woman to marry you and when she says I do. When people that have been together for a long time say the romance is gone, what they're really saying is that they've exhausted the possibilitties.."
I believe in the possible. I'm not ready to throw in the towel.
Darius is still out there waiting for me.
Often times in the circle of close bloggers, who become friends, we get into debates (albeit friendly ones) but debates nonetheless. I happened to be on my "private" blog site reading a dear friend's blog. I love her to death and she's been like a big sister to me, helping me through my divorce as a shoulder to cry on and listening ear. And although I've never met her in person...I do consider her a friend (that may sound strange to most..but it isnt to bloggers!) She's a gorgeous Black and Mexican woman..living in southern Cal and raising her teenage son amazingly! I was reading her blog...and came across this:
Ok..just a random thought... What is with the expression "LSLH?" Because it's usually used in a negative way, I'm offended by it.It irks me to no end! I mean, does it make us less of a black women because we have lighter skin and long hair? So when I read blogs or websites that use that expression, I think it's sad. So what if I&…
I am not sure if any of you saw the recent Boondocks where they spoofed prison culture and gayness. Well....if you haven't...here is a little clip of where they got their inspiration from. Fleece Johnson...the Booty Warrior... So yeah...Fleece is a little crazy..but we are about to roll with thiis for a minute. I am about to take the "Fleece Johnson" no holds barred approach to dating. If I see a dude it's going down like this: I likes yaI wants yaWe can do this the easy wayOr the hard way....your choice. Now..Fleece might be talking about gay men and booty warrior and "hornin". But..I'm talking about taking the same approach to men. If I see a dude I want..I WANT HIM. Imma have him. We can play games and bullshit and do it the hard way...OR we can do it the easy way...you give in to me and my desires (and yours)..and be happy. Which would you rather have? Would you rather have to do dumb sh*t to work for a good woman? Or take an easy approach with the sam…
I am the queen of talking dirty after dark. I mean I am GOOD at it. VERY good. So much so I dated a guy and for months..all he wanted me to do was speak nasty to him. We never has sex. Nothing. Just a bunch of dirty talk....and he was happy. (Hey..a very safe sex fetish!) Heck..I'm even considering picking up some extra income in this economy and becoming a phone sex operator...my job does NOT pay enough.
I will say there is an ART to dirty talk. You cant be shy. You cant be a prude and say things 1) you are not comfortable saying and 2) that you certainly can't back up if you are in a position to act on those things with a trust partner. 3 ) things you have no real reference point of familiarity with. Don;t say you are down for a "golden shower" if you think that has something to do with "lemonade kool-aid". DOn't pretend to have a weird accent. That would be ROLE playing..and not "talking dirty". BUT a lot of "talking dirty" is role…