Sex and The Southern Belle

At first I wasn’t gonna blog about all my dating adventures anymore. I mean, who wants to hear about this stuff.   Plus, I’m apprehensive now seeing as though I let people read it (what better way to get to know me huh? ) But…what the hell! You all want to know, you nosey bastards.  And this is a blog about my dating adventures post divorce..And I need a place to binge and purge. This mental diarrhea has to go somewhere. I vowed to be honest..so here goes. So upon advice of my friends who were successful and professional therapist (I have no shame in saying I consulted a therapist post-divorce, I think everyone should!), I decided to rejoin a few dating sites. I had joined some, as I said before, shortly after I got divorced but I didn’t really have many dates , met some straight up nutjobs, and I wasn’t ready. After my campaign to go on more dates fell short (and encountered more fools), I said the hell with it. I threw myself into school, work and getting myself t...

FEELING Letting your guard down and opening your heart to something new. School refunds! YES! My class schedule this semester My new "relationship state of mind" initiative and how my girlfriends are in in on it as well! Exploring new restaurants new me first kisses...always Loreal HIP gel Eyeliner. I've tried em all...it's the best Magazines. I still like to flip in a magazine decorating my apartment. It' gonna look great really soon. Focusing on the living room and dining area. unexpected gifts.... the idea of adoption or a sperm donor. a full and stacked fridge. Im straight till end of Spring now :) KINDLE! It's so awesome! Why didnt I get one earlier! turning 32 in a few months maybe i"ll have a Valentime that'll send flowers to my job eloping. next time I am eloping. Straight up. NOT FEELING Letting your guard down and opening your heart to something new (lol) Shit..maybe I wont have a valentine! *shrug* Turning 32 in a few mo...

Got a burning sex question you want to ask? Got a confession? Need some real help? Got a question  you want to ask to TheMochaPeach yourself? Ask TheMochaPeach is BACK!! Email me .....or hit up my Formspring:Ask me anything  http://formspring.me/TheMochaPeach I promise I'll answer (or get an expert to help you out! :) Questions are being taken until  Monday, Jan 31 at 5 pm

(Cartoon courtesy of IStockPhoto.com ) I was talking to one of my superbly awesome and witty good friends, Cher, about love and relationships (our hot topic, of course). She was telling me about one of her girlfriends who is in a blossoming relationship and how she changed her attitude and approach to it. It wasn't about how she intereacted with guys or even reading the hottest self-help book. It all started with changing her attitude. Cher said (to paraphrase..cause I don't even remember the exact words...LOL): "My girl was like..she got in a better frame of mind and started THINKING and acting like she had a man already! She said " I stopped living my life as if I was a single woman !  I began to act and treat myself as if I was a married woman.  Would my man like to come home and see a dirty room or me laying around in sweats?  NO!  So I keep my place clean and I dress up even if Im just lounging at home!" So now..she's going pretty hot and heavy into a ...

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We all know a sista that has fallen pray to this epidemic Hell..it could have happened to you. A Good Girlfriend. Your cousin. Your spry, 86 year old grandma! NO ONE is immune, son! NO ONE!! Anyone can fall victim to the epidemic known by its Latin name... Dickmitus Traumaticus or more commonly   "Dickmatized" You know the instant it happens. You lay there, after some good, bomb.com, sex and through some weird transference of energy, your brain instantly turns to mush and you lose the sense the Good Lord gave you. All because of some dick.... You start doing and saying dumb sh*t...such as: "Yeah baby..I'll pick your kids up from their crazy mama's house. If I gotta fight that b*tch I will." You've known the dude 2 weeks and already thinking about baby carriages, changing your last name,  and your wedding color scheme. You hop up out the bed, bright and early at 5 am, and make that ninja some pancakes. Naw..fuck some pancakes..some crepes! You kn...

Dear TheMochaPeach: Girl. I am not sure I can even explain this. I’ve been in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend for about 8 months now. We have a really great sex life. He definitely knows how to please me and I think I do a good job of pleasing him.  He hasn’t had any real complaints.  However, lately, he’s been asking if we can do some “anal “ sex.  He said he likes it as an alternative if a) we cant have sex due to my menstrual flow and b) it’s tighter and naughty and will give me a greater orgasm. I don’t know about all of that. Now, I am not really down with that but I do want to please my partner. The other thing is, I mean him asking…does that make him gay? I mean I don’t know any brothers so adamant about doing it “in the butt” like this. Signed, “Anal” Annie ******** Dear “Anal Annie”: Well my dear, you are in a bit of a “sticky “situation, a “pickle’ if you will, and I know you don’t want to be a “stick in the mud” (lol.boy this letter is ripe ...

Let me talk a little about my neighbors.my upstairs neighbors that is. And how they are driving me to drink. I live in a pretty diverse side of ATL. My neighborhood is full of mainly people of the above ethnicities. My apartment complex is near a variety of Sari stores, Paki grocery stores, a Hindu temple (at least I THINK it’s Hindu) and above all else, the international farmer’s market that stays packed. So. I guess that’s what attracts these ethnic groups to my area. Most of all, it’s a quiet, relatively inexpensive, and eclectic part of town. My neighbors are a young Indo-Paki-Bangladeshi-Iranian-Arab…. (As you can see, I don’t even know their exact ethnicity) couple. They must be newlyweds. They moved in about a year ago. Up until that time, I had enjoyed a relatively quiet existence in Building 4. My other neighbor to the right is an elderly Asian man who is sweet and speaks often. To the left…a model apartment that only gets occasionally used for short-term leases. And I ...

I can only watch a select number of Reality TV shows before my brain usually turns to mush.  The Kardashians (how to get rich doing nothing but screwing and well. nothing), Basketball wives (hoes who somehow prosper), What Chilli Wants (a delusional middle-aged woman) and Real Housewives of ATL (neuvo-riche black women and one crazy white woman thinking they are better than somebody) are just a bevy of those shows that I can barely tolerate and are laughable after a while. But one show that I can watch and shake my head (usually in agreement) at often is Brandy and Ray J’s Family Affair. I sort of always skip over the scenes dealing with Ray J (cause he’s a coon and I got no time for him) and always focus on Brandy. I’ve always been a fan of her music, her unique voice and definitely her style. I feel like I grew up with Brandy (we are the same age). When she had the box braids, I had braids.  People call her “odd looking”. I’ve been called “odd looking" too. We both went...

In talking to a male friend of mine, he shed some insight into why men do the things that they do, especially in dating.. And NEWSFLASH: most of the times, it isn’t even about the woman. And women need to stop making it all about them (Well…or at least try not to). With exasperation, frustration and confusion in his voice he said: “Take YOU out of the equation. There are times when I dated a woman and didn’t call her for 10 days straight. Not that I didn’t want to but other stuff got in the way. I liked the girl I dated a while ago. But what if my schedule was conflicting.  Maybe when I get to work I said I was going to text but stuff got really hectic and I couldn’t. What if I was broke and I knew I couldn’t take her out this week? Those dates start adding up! Sometimes I worked so much that all I wanted to do was go home., not talk to anyone. Just watch TV and put the cell in the other room. . What if he IS dating a bunch of women and he just can’t balance work, dating and stu...

My really good friend Yaki over at The Prissy Mommy sent me this link from one of my (secret) idols, Eartha Kitt. I used to practice talking like her...(lol)..cause I thought she had a cool, cat-like voice (She is the coolest Catwoman ever). Smart, sexy, and truly a Renaissance woman, Kitt was the epitome of glamour, style and class for her generation. They just don't make women like her anymore.... A little woman from North, South Carolina, she graced the stage and film and lived an ex-pat life many only dreamed of. This clip right here, her take on relationships, made me think.... She was disgusted at the thought of "compromise" just because a man came into her life. She said "Stupid"...I think her laugh made me laugh just as hard..because the thought was so absurd to her....she threw her head back and guffawed so loudly.  So is she right?? To love means never having to compromise?    "Falling in love...being in love..what is there to compromise?...

Scenario: You meet someone. The communication is going well. They seem into you. You go out...have an AWESOME date (by their own admission)...And for you..this may rank up there with one of THE BEST dates you've ever had....then...BAM...all communication comes to a screeching halt. Texts become sporadic and one or two words...phone convos are brief and not as rich...then all of a sudden...the convos just stop...cold. You call..they don't answer. You text...they don't reply back. Hmm... Then you start analyzing the date . What just happened?? Are they THAT busy?? Was my breath funky? Was the conversation boring? Did I not laugh at the right jokes? What gives w/ the disappearing acts?? *scratching head* In proposing the scenario with a fellow blogger of mine, Peejay, over at Colored Girls Blogging, her answer was simply this: They meet someone who also has good communication and good chemistry and they aren't sure which way they want to go and don't know how to multi...

I love men. Specifically, I love black men. I love the way that they walk, the way that they talk, the brute strength, the beautiful aesthetics of brown skin, facial hair and that certain (for lack of better word) “swagger”. But I do have a problem with men…and the problem is ME. In speaking to someone recently, they said that they could see how my blog can come across as “bitter” sometimes. Maybe not “bitter” but they were unconvinced that I actually liked men...and in their words it sounded like a "hardcore lesbian trying to convince people she's straight".  I assured them “No. I love men. I really do. The problem is I love them TOO MUCH”. And then they asked how was that so… I’ll tell you why, buddy…. I love men so much that somehow I forgot to give a damn about my own needs. I loved men so much that I forgot that I need to have my own needs met across the board before I started to try and meet the unrealistic expectations of a partner who could give a damn ab...

You started it. If a kiss was like the kindling To a fire Yours would be the spark To heat the cold, wooden logs That are my heart Placed in a lonely place In a big empty room Of my soul You started this… Softly.. I lay claim to the fact that Your lips enveloped me Engulfed me Swallowed my breath up whole And released into me. Mixing with yours. I feel revived. Warmth Fire ignited. You started it. It’s all your fault. I was fine with being cold for a while. Laying dormant until the moment arrived But the moment was you And I wasn’t ready for my embers To be fanned And turn into a raging fire. Pyromaniacs would be jealous You started it. You need to put it out.