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Instead I say...Thank You



Hello Dearest...

Yes...it's me. I was going to write something else but instead..


..I want to tell you thank you.

Yes....Thank you. I know it is surprising....but I want to tell you this now...

Thank you for letting me believe in lust at first sight....that someone can find even the curves of my cheeks sexy.

Thank you for letting me get excited about all of the possibilities...even if they didn't manifest....it made me excited.... and to know I have feelings...is a good thing.

Thank you for inspiring so much poetry...poetry that I had no idea was inside of me... I wrote until my fingers were developing callouses.

Thank you for having me believe that Darius Lovehall is possibly real.....

Thank you for introducing me to new things...like new drinks....and new poets...my shelves overflow with Neruda and new volumes of Dylan Thomas...

Thank you for making me laugh...laugh a WHOLE lot...sometimes until tears rolled down my face.

Thank you for letting me vent and listening most times...until you got tired.....which was quickly.

Thank you for telling me I was beautiful and I was smart.....because I believed you when you said it...even for this short time.

Thank you for never taking me to your homeland. I would have come back too in love..and invested...and possibly pregnant.

Thank you for misleading me....because I learned a lesson in not reading all the signs.

Thank you for telling me you needed "space"....because in that time I found myself and realized I can't make you care....or especially for me.

Thank you for telling me it was "me".....and misreading me....because in that I realized...it's hardly ever "me".

Thank you for not coming through when you said you would.....because I know I would have fallen madly in love with you....and it makes it harder to say goodbye.

Thank you for the endless word games...you challenged my vocabulary.. and that's always fun. And not letting me win all the time....shows me you were up for a challenge.....at least for a little while.

Thank you for not letting me in....because if I had become invested...I would have neglected myself.

Thank you for stopping the calls...and the  chats.....and all of that. I wasn't sitting by the phone anymore wasting time. I realized I had something better to do than to text and call..without a response.

Thank you for reminding me how beautiful I was...that my curves were just fine and just desirable.... even if the desire is fleeting.

Thank you for helping me grow up a little....yes...even during that short period of time...

Thank you for inspiring so much...even this letter.

Thank you for not explaining..not saying Good Bye. And allowing me to just remain confused and just praying for you...because sometimes there is peace in confusion.

To this I say goodbye. I hope you're happy.....

Thank you,



Comments

  1. I love this post for so many reasons. But the main one is that, as women, it's so important that we learn to take the growth lesson from any experiences we have with these guys. Because for all the good, and all the bad, we usually emerge wiser. And you've illustrated just that. I just love your positive spirit, for real!

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