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His "Girl", His "Shame", and Your "Problem"

I hate a cowardly man.

There is nothing worse than a man with no backbone and no confidence in himself. When that same shame and cowardliness filters into his relationships, all bets are off that you are going to be treated with love and respect.

This blog is inspired by a jerk. He's a pretty insecure dude having some sorta mid-life crisis.. In the midst of that he's been through girlfriend after girlfriend, He finally met a girl who'd put up with him. She wasn't his type he was used to dating. Most times he dated girls like Gabby Union...and this girl was more Jill Scott.  Nevertheless... he started seeing this girl.

Now here is where the insecurity comes in: He'd take the "Gabby Union" type girls to all company be around his friends. He showed them off.  But the Jilly-O type girl  he'd never take anywhere or take her to select places.. He won't take her out in public too often..It reminds me of that episode of that wretched show The Game that I saw (I do not watch that show), where the football player was dating the big girl sports reporter and loved her madly...but was ashamed to take her out in public because of his "image".

His insecurity about himself has filtered over into the new woman he's dating. He may truly be attracted to her, but because he's worried about what others will say, because the girl doesn't have a "model physique".

But enough about him.....what does this say about the girl who would allow herself to be treated like a red-headed Step child???  Where is her self-esteem? Is she just as insecure as the guy?? Does she not care and just wants a little attention?

In relationships, I am an advocate of a few things a) treat people how you want to be treated and b) the writing is always on the wall.  IF a person is insecure about themselves....more than likely they are going to treat you with insecurity. If a person won't take you around his close circle of friends or only to select things, they are ashamed of you. PERIOD. Who wants to be the "big girl in the closet" that only comes out on occasion? I wouldn't.

There are times where we  make compromises (usually for the better)...and then there are other times where we sell ourselves short.  I never want my sister-friends to feel like they are ashamed to be with a guy...or that their guy is ashamed to be with them outside of the bedroom/certain settings...etc. I've been there...done that...and got the T-shirt.

As my mantra for 2012 is : Bliss is your Birthright....NEVER compromise your bliss for a dude who sees you as a convenient lay/meal-maker/occasional date.

Then you'll really be "trapped in the closet".


  1. Ugh! That is a sad scenario, and I've seen it before too. Very disgusted by guys like this!

  2. Insecurity is the most unattractive quality in a man or a woman.

  3. You have to wonder what type of low self esteem does she have to actually put up with that type of treatment. It's unfortunate that she seems to believe that she cant do better than that


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