August 29, 2011

Sex and the Myth of the Sorority Girl

(I see you sorors!! Zeta Phi Beta Sorority members from University of Minneapolis having their "Probate" show")

I bleed blue. I sweat white. 
I am zealous
I am a Zeta.
Through and Through.....

People have sorority girls totally twisted. Ok..maybe people have BLACK sorority girls twisted..*shrug*

Most people's notions of "sorority girls" come from B-rate movies and it usually involves drinking a lot, scantily clad lingerie,  sometimes lesbian exploits, walking around naked in a sorority house all the time, and most importantly, screwing everything with a penis in sight because we are wild, crazy, debaucheries, and pretty much lacking values....

...and usually those women are not Negro. Oh sure they throw a token on in there every now and then..but for the most part....

Um...maybe that's how Y'ALL do it (and you know who "y'all" is) but my fellow NPHC sorority members will tell you...that overall, that isn't how WE do it.

I rarely talk about my sorority on here, but it came to my attention via a conversation I had with a dude who was NOT black, about sorority girls.  I came to work, on casual Friday, in a sorority Polo and jeans. He goes.."Oh you're a sorority girl? So you're like wild and crazy and drink all the time?" 


Whet?? (that'sATLien for WHAT?) Where they do that at??  So I had to break it down for my NON-brother from another....

I became a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority in the spring of 2000 with 9 other awesome women. While I did my fair share of partying as a neophyte (new member), that got old pretty damn quickly. The focus has and always will  be on scholarship and service. As a black woman, this isn't just some social thing I did in college, this is something that is a life-long financial commitment. I am sure my fellow black Greeks can agree with me. I am still a financial member of my organization that I love.

I will say my experience as a woman isn't the same as a man who joins a fraternity. I didn't get instant groupies becoming a Zeta. I didn't have dudes doing my homework when I was becoming a member..or washing my dirty drawers in acts of servititude to get close to me (HA! I wish...) I wasn't having men knock on my dorm door late at night for some rendezvous JUST because I was a Zeta. I didn't live in some raucous sorority house running around in my lacy Vicky Secrets or walking from a frat house doing the walk of shame. Nah dude...that wasn't my experience at all.

Being a "sorority" girl was less about my "sexuality" and more about my intellect. We prided ourselves on how smart and resourceful we were. We loved the fact that community service was our top priority and we swelled with pride when our skill and athleticism won a step show or stroll competition.

So sorority life, especially as a collegiate, wasnt wrapped up in penis..or how many numbers I could score..or having all this sex and this crazy sexual exploits to attract guys (or be sexually explorative with my own sorority sisters for that matter)...

IT was about and support. IT was about female empowerment to some degree and a feminine energy that couldn't be denied. IT was about lots of fun and laughter. IT was about crying, arguing, and making up later....

(Me (in the teal) and some of my NPHC member Bridesmaids  representing their organizations at my rehearsal dinner in 2006)

 And that is a "price far above rubies"


  1. As a brother of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity Inc. I agree with you. Awesome post!

  2. Loved this post! Way to dispel the rumors/myths. As you stated, most folks who have that perception of "sorority girls" are definitely thinking of NON-nphc sororities! lol. Cuz we have not ever been that.

    Awww man, i love that throw back pic of us. Wow! Good times!

  3. Nicely said. I found myself referring to my line-sisters as my "pledge class" when talking to some white folks the other day because I just didn't want to have to get into the BGLO vs. WGLO dynamic. I am quick to follow up with how the BGLOs emphasize service and lifelong commitment, not the stereotypes you see in movies -- and for the record, I have not once, never, ever, EVER seen or heard somebody say, "I feel a step coming on," (a la Drumline) while in the middle of a party. Who wrote that mess?!



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