Skip to main content

Sex and the Myth of the Sorority Girl

(I see you sorors!! Zeta Phi Beta Sorority members from University of Minneapolis having their "Probate" show")

I bleed blue. I sweat white. 
I am zealous
I am a Zeta.
Through and Through.....

People have sorority girls totally twisted. Ok..maybe people have BLACK sorority girls twisted..*shrug*

Most people's notions of "sorority girls" come from B-rate movies and it usually involves drinking a lot, scantily clad lingerie,  sometimes lesbian exploits, walking around naked in a sorority house all the time, and most importantly, screwing everything with a penis in sight because we are wild, crazy, debaucheries, and pretty much lacking values....

...and usually those women are not Negro. Oh sure they throw a token on in there every now and then..but for the most part....

Um...maybe that's how Y'ALL do it (and you know who "y'all" is) but my fellow NPHC sorority members will tell you...that overall, that isn't how WE do it.

I rarely talk about my sorority on here, but it came to my attention via a conversation I had with a dude who was NOT black, about sorority girls.  I came to work, on casual Friday, in a sorority Polo and jeans. He goes.."Oh you're a sorority girl? So you're like wild and crazy and drink all the time?" 

*Pause*

Whet?? (that'sATLien for WHAT?) Where they do that at??  So I had to break it down for my NON-brother from another....

I became a member of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority in the spring of 2000 with 9 other awesome women. While I did my fair share of partying as a neophyte (new member), that got old pretty damn quickly. The focus has and always will  be on scholarship and service. As a black woman, this isn't just some social thing I did in college, this is something that is a life-long financial commitment. I am sure my fellow black Greeks can agree with me. I am still a financial member of my organization that I love.

I will say my experience as a woman isn't the same as a man who joins a fraternity. I didn't get instant groupies becoming a Zeta. I didn't have dudes doing my homework when I was becoming a member..or washing my dirty drawers in acts of servititude to get close to me (HA! I wish...) I wasn't having men knock on my dorm door late at night for some rendezvous JUST because I was a Zeta. I didn't live in some raucous sorority house running around in my lacy Vicky Secrets or walking from a frat house doing the walk of shame. Nah dude...that wasn't my experience at all.

Being a "sorority" girl was less about my "sexuality" and more about my intellect. We prided ourselves on how smart and resourceful we were. We loved the fact that community service was our top priority and we swelled with pride when our skill and athleticism won a step show or stroll competition.

So nah...my sorority life, especially as a collegiate, wasnt wrapped up in penis..or how many numbers I could score..or having all this sex and this crazy sexual exploits to attract guys (or be sexually explorative with my own sorority sisters for that matter)...

IT was about sisterhood....networking...love and support. IT was about female empowerment to some degree and a feminine energy that couldn't be denied. IT was about lots of fun and laughter. IT was about crying, arguing, and making up later....

(Me (in the teal) and some of my NPHC member Bridesmaids  representing their organizations at my rehearsal dinner in 2006)


 And that is a "price far above rubies"

Comments

  1. As a brother of Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity Inc. I agree with you. Awesome post!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Loved this post! Way to dispel the rumors/myths. As you stated, most folks who have that perception of "sorority girls" are definitely thinking of NON-nphc sororities! lol. Cuz we have not ever been that.

    Awww man, i love that throw back pic of us. Wow! Good times!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nicely said. I found myself referring to my line-sisters as my "pledge class" when talking to some white folks the other day because I just didn't want to have to get into the BGLO vs. WGLO dynamic. I am quick to follow up with how the BGLOs emphasize service and lifelong commitment, not the stereotypes you see in movies -- and for the record, I have not once, never, ever, EVER seen or heard somebody say, "I feel a step coming on," (a la Drumline) while in the middle of a party. Who wrote that mess?!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dating and the Dark-Skinned Girl

Often times in the circle of close bloggers, who become friends, we get into debates (albeit friendly ones) but debates nonetheless. I happened to be on my "private" blog site reading a dear friend's blog. I love her to death and she's been like a big sister to me, helping me through my divorce as a shoulder to cry on and listening ear. And although I've never met her in person...I do consider her a friend (that may sound strange to most..but it isnt to bloggers!) She's a gorgeous Black and Mexican woman..living in southern Cal and raising her teenage son amazingly! I was reading her blog...and came across this:

Ok..just a random thought... What is with the expression "LSLH?" Because it's usually used in a negative way, I'm offended by it.It irks me to no end! I mean, does it make us less of a black women because we have lighter skin and long hair? So when I read blogs or websites that use that expression, I think it's sad. So what if I&…

The "Fleece Johnson" Guide to Dating

I am not sure if any of you saw the recent Boondocks where they spoofed prison culture and gayness. Well....if you haven't...here is a little clip of where they got their inspiration from. Fleece Johnson...the Booty Warrior... So yeah...Fleece is a little crazy..but we are about to roll with thiis for a minute. I am about to take the "Fleece Johnson" no holds barred approach to dating. If I see a dude it's going down  like this: I likes ya I wants ya We can do this the easy way Or the hard way....your choice. Now..Fleece might be talking about gay men and booty warrior and "hornin". But..I'm talking about taking the same approach to men. If I see a dude I want..I WANT HIM. Imma have him. We can play games and bullshit and do it the hard way...OR we can do it the easy way...you give in to me and my desires (and yours)..and be happy. Which would you rather have? Would you rather have to do dumb sh*t to work for a good woman? Or take an easy approach with the sam…

The Art of the Dirty Talk

I am the queen of talking dirty after dark. I mean I am GOOD at it. VERY good. So much so I dated a guy and for months..all he wanted me to do was speak nasty to him. We never has sex. Nothing. Just a bunch of dirty talk....and he was happy. (Hey..a very safe sex fetish!) Heck..I'm even considering picking up some extra income in this economy and becoming a phone sex operator...my job does NOT pay enough.

I will say there is an ART to dirty talk. You cant be shy. You cant be a prude and say things 1) you are not comfortable saying and 2) that you certainly can't back up if you are in a position to act on those things with a trust partner. 3 ) things you have no real reference point of familiarity with. Don;t say you are down for a "golden shower" if you think that has something to do with "lemonade kool-aid". DOn't pretend to have a weird accent. That would be ROLE playing..and not "talking dirty". BUT a lot of "talking dirty" is role…