Dear Blog Readers...
I have a confession to make. This will come to a surprise to most of you but.......
I have performance anxiety.
*and the crowd gasps*
Yes..the girl who writes about sex, love and all things relationship has performance anxiety. And truly, it's deeper than sex. I get nervous for everything. Tests..interviews..first dates, hosting events, even meeting new friends. I'm a wobbly mess.
But since this blog is about sex.......yes...I do get performance anxiety...in that area as well.
There are some disclaimers to this, now:
a) I only get it when there has been LONG GAPS between uhm...."being grown"
b) I only get it when I don't feel I'm at my tip top shape (physically...that is)
But most of all....c) I only get it when I know, truly know, that I like the person. I mean like a WHOLE lot. An unreal amount. Like..we prob on the verge of "exclusive" status. Somehow I always know it...and I physically cut the monkey (no pun intended. LOL)
But if I dont think we going further than this.........I could give a rat's ass.
Most times guys have no idea I'm nervous. I'm good at playing it off. I'll laugh and giggle. I look shyly like I'm virginal (HA!!! lmao) Or I zone out and sorta "become" what I think will calm me down. I channel the "inner sexual celebrity spirit" (lol) of a woman that I admire, that I think is SMOKING hot ,that no man can resist...and go from there..
(My inner sexual celebrity spirit is Janet Jackson...I mean look at her...
wouldn't you wanna get down with that??? You'd be a damn fool not to! She's hot, confident. and has mad "sexy swagger", and has a mean walk on stage! )
Nevertheless, I think on the rare occasion that it does show, I think men might find it a little coy and endearing. Like "Aww..she's nervous... imma blow her back out" (LOL) or something that effect. But I do get nervous. Signs I'm nervous:
- Lip biting
- Avoiding eye contact
- Twirling my hair
- Asthmatic breathing (lol...like a fat dude w/ an inhaler)
- or standing paralyze like a store mannequin
Now our poor men folk, it's painfully obvious for them when they have performance anxiety. Unfortunately, the physical reaction are something biological that they can't control. They could be "ready to go" during foreplay, but "go a lil Cottonelle soft" when it's time to get er done! That's so sad. Women will call that man anything but a CHILD OF GOD when it happens.. First thing we think is the man needs Viagra, is gay, or has some other type of "abnormality" in our heads. They get nervous too....luckily for them..they have ways to cope. Medically and physically..
But what about us women? Do we have ways to cope? I mean, we have a myriad of things going on in our heads. like "Dear god..I hope my boobs don't do that flop to one side under my arm thing" or.."Gosh..I shoulda prob not wore these thongs, not cool", or "I wonder if my breath smells...or worse...does DOWN THERE smell". See...we have some anxiety as well....but how do we cope? I know I haven't quite figured it out (with the exception of channeling the "sexual celebrity spirit". of Janet Jackson. LOL)